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The Coumadin Confessional

From my lips, to God’s ear. He had His answer ready long before I even asked.

Guest Contributor Ellsworth Johnson

If you were raised Catholic, like I was, chances are you spent some time in a confessional.

When I was in the fifth grade, growing up deep in the boroughs of New York City, my mother put me in a program organized by our local church called “Release Time.” On Wednesdays at 2:00 p.m. I, my brother and about 50 other kids from local elementary schools got to leave early, walk the half mile to Sacred Heart and spend the afternoon (and, often, into the evening) in classrooms being lectured by the nuns on various topics, attending services in the sanctuary and, occasionally, indulging in my least favorite part of the whole experience: going to confession.

Oh, how I hated the confessional! Not only did we have to wait in long lines, to visit one of what were essentially small closets built into the wood paneling which lined the sanctuary’s walls, but once there you closed the door behind you and, in the darkened space, had to bare your sins to the priest invisibly on the other side of the porous cloth partition.

I often found myself confused. Embarrassed. Fumbling for things to say to a perfect stranger about the bad stuff no one knew about but God and me (“should I mention THAT one?”).

I had forgotten that agonized feeling from my childhood — until last Tuesday, when it came back full-force.

The apostle Paul reminds us many times to trust that God already has things mapped out for us:

… for we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

Currently, I am under medical care at home. Jackie, my nurse (not her real name), comes by once a week to take my vital signs and do a procedure called an INR, where she pricks my finger to draw blood and uses a portable device to test how well and how quickly it clots.

One of the medications I take is called Coumadin®. It is used to control the blood’s clotting ability. I had been prescribed to take one pill a day, but twice a week I had been advised to take an additional half a pill to further inhibit blood clotting.

Well, that was the plan, but… cut a pill in half? How on earth was I supposed to do that? With a knife? Scissors? Chisel? How do you keep the pieces from flying to Kingdom Come when you split the tablet? It sounded like a huge hassle, with the possibility of making a mess and chasing pill fragments all over the room, so I decided to just take an extra whole pill (instead of half) on those days and be done with it.

(DISCLAIMER: Do NOT try this at home, or anywhere else! This was a VERY BAD thing to do, and I thank God that it didn’t result in any medical harm. Always take your medicines exactly as prescribed!)

There were consequences, though.

“Your numbers are way up. They are about as high as they should be. We should look at lowering your dose.”

Oh no! My blood was way thinner than expected. Jackie was considering making medical recommendations under false pretenses, and I was the source of the falsehood!

The numbers from the INR test were at the upper end of the acceptable range, probably because of the additional whole Coumadin® pill I was taking instead of cutting it in half as directed.

Jackie was sitting in the chair across from me in my office, busily entering information into the tablet computer she brought with her to manage all my patient-care data. Should I tell her? She might freak out and get mad. On the other hand, it would explain the result, and allow us to make decisions based on reality and, hopefully, get the expected outcome.

Contemplating Confession

I stared out the window, flipping the issue over and over in my mind, evaluating possible eventual reactions (in increasing order of severity):

#3: Jackie getting mad

#2: any medical consequences

#1: wife clubbing me senseless

I took a deep breath. “Here goes,” I thought to myself.

I told Jackie what I did and braced myself for her response.

She did not even look up from her tablet.

Experiencing Grace

“That’s OK,” she said in an even tone. “I have an extra pill cutter out in my car. You can have it.”

WHAT?

She continued.

“I bought it for another patient some time ago. It turned out he didn’t need it, so I’ve been carrying it around in my car ever since. Here… let me go get it for you.” I watched her as she put down the tablet and left the room.

Can you say “grace”? The way it was all once explained to me involved blatantly speeding and a cop car pulling you over. “Justice” is getting the hefty ticket you rightly deserve. “Mercy” is overlooking the infraction, though you were obviously very guilty. “Grace” is where the cop says, on top of letting you slide, “Oh, and here are ten courtside passes to the next Lakers home game for you and your friends.”

“Mercy” is overlooking the infraction, though you were obviously very guilty. Ellsworth Johnson
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My mouth hung wide open. Jackie’s calm and grace-filled reaction was TOTALLY unexpected! I was completely flabbergasted at the astronomical coincidence which had just taken place.

Rationalizing God’s Provision

My rational mindset about putting together the sequence of events which must have taken place in the non-specific past to bring this all about:

  • One of Jackie’s patients needed a pill cutter.
  • Jackie bought the pill cutter.
  • The patient ended up not needing it.
  • Jackie left it in her car until now.

Just as important are all the things that did NOT happen, each of which is entirely plausible:

  • Jackie could have, at some point, for any reason (or no reason) taken the pill cutter out of her car.
  • Another patient could have needed it.
  • Jackie could have forgotten it was there or remembered yet not mention it.

This is hardly a complete list, but only the more obvious things. “Less obvious” is that the car could have been in an accident and been unavailable, or even a different nurse than Jackie showed up at my house that day.

Or… I could have chickened out and not said anything.

Appreciating God’s Care

 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

Yet again, I am amazed in my humanness that God had it all under control, and that all the pieces fell together as He had obviously planned. And, yet again, I remind myself that I shouldn’t be surprised, considering who God is and where He sits in the scheme of things.

He has the whole universe under His dominion, yet He saw fit to make sure that I, Person #3,975,467,002 on this one obscure rock out of a trillion planets, with nothing special about him and much worthy of condemnation, still got what I needed.

Not only did I end up getting it, but He also arranged events (and non-events!) in other people’s lives to bring it all about.

I should indeed not be surprised. That’s who He is.

And I praise His name forever.

Thanks for the pill cutter.

Amen.

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Spiritual Warfare: Armor of God Part 4 of 4

Spiritual Warfare: It used to scare me at first whenever a SECURITY ALERT came through on my email when we lived in Lagos, Nigeria. These alerts were sent out from either my husband’s company or the U.S. Consulate warning us of possible danger. But, the more alerts I received, the less scared I became. I got used to them as just part of life and didn’t put much weight into them.

Some of these security alerts consisted of the following warnings.

  • An increasing trend is hijackers trailing unsuspecting victims. Some are robbed and some are unfortunately held for ransom;
  • Criminals side brush unsuspecting vehicles or hit them from behind to force drivers to stop, after which they are robbed or kidnapped;
  • Be extremely vigilant and develop a situational awareness that may enable you to avoid victimization;
  • Avoid night time traveling;
  • Keep a low profile and dress unassumingly;
  • Be alert at all times – don’t ignore any suspicious circumstances.

The last alert is the most general alert and probably the most important alert as it involves how we were to live every day of our lives in the country we were living in at the time.

As I pondered these alerts, I thought about how similar these alerts are to a Biblical alert we read about in the Scriptures.

Paul, the author of Ephesians, urges us to put on the full spiritual armor of God. Paul wants us to understand that we can fight the fiery darts of Satan who is very active in trying to trip us up and lead us away from our trust and dependence on God.

We may not live in a country with evils such as ISIS, suicide bombers, extremists, and beheadings. However, we are all surrounded by the wiles of the devil. Satan might be attacking us in the form our idols, our fleshly desires, a false gospel, physical afflictions, selfishness, friendships with the world, addictions, media, or worldly wisdom – just to name a few. We need to recognize the methods Satan uses to attack us and stand firm against his schemes. No one has given us a more wise strategy for living than God.

In Ephesians 6:10-17, the apostle Paul says to put on the whole armor of God:

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak” (Ephesians 6:10-17 ESV).

Let’s take a look at the individual pieces of the armor of God. Below you will find a fact, an action, a verse from God’s Word, and a quote from The Christian in Complete Armour by William Gurnall—a 1600 English Puritan and Anglican clergyman that believed in standing firm in Christ by using the graces listed in Ephesians 6.

Truth

Fact: God’s truth will keep us secure in Christ.

Action: Confess all known sins and get rid of all deceptions and commit yourself daily to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Bible: “Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth.”

Quote: Love for God makes the soul inquisitive to find out what is dear to God so it can express tenderness to truth and thereby give love to Him.

Breastplate of Righteousness

Fact: Satan is trying to attack us with lies or reminders of our past sins.

Action: We must guard our hearts against Satan and live for the righteousness of Christ by being obedient to God’s ways and will.

Bible: “and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,”

Quote: Righteousness and holiness are God’s protection to defend the believer’s conscience from all wounds inflicted by sin.

Feet

Fact: Satan will put obstacles in our paths. He wants us to stumble.

Action: Prepare yourself through Bible study, prayer, meditation, confession and more, so you can confidently walk in Jesus’ ways wherever you go and wherever He may lead you.

Bible: “and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.”

Quote: God does not want the saint to stand still and fret or to have to be coaxed to move but to follow Christ voluntarily, as a soldier follows his captain. Yet Christ is not like a general who drives his men into battle whether they want to go or not . . . A heart full of grace will follow Jesus into the wilderness of affliction as willingly as a lover goes with her beloved into a quiet garden to enjoy his presence. By His Word and by His Spirit Christ satisfied the Christian, making him want to be with Him anywhere.

Walk confidently in Jesus’ ways wherever you go and wherever He may lead you. GreenePastures.org
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Shield of Faith

Fact: Satan will try to put doubts in our mind. Hold on to your faith.

Action: Trust that your faith will defend all the unholy darts that may be projected upon you.

Bible: “In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;”

Quote: Faith is the only messenger which can bring good news from heaven to the heart. It is faith that proclaims the promise, opens Christ’s riches, and pours out His name to increase love in believers. Whenever faith wins the character of Christ out of the Word and presents Him to us in all His loveliness, we are sweetly drawn to Him.

Helmet of Salvation

Fact: Our thinking needs to be protected because Satan loves to make us doubt our salvation and God.

Action: We must be sure that Jesus is our security through salvation in Christ. [If you are unsure about your relationship with Christ, understand that we are all born with a sinful nature, but when we repent of our sins and ask Jesus to be part of our life, we can have the assurance of salvation and eternal life.]

Bible: “and take the helmet of salvation,”

Quote: As a Christian soldier you must always stand in a defensive posture with your armor on, ready to defend the treasure God has given you to keep and to repel Satan’s assaults.

Sword of the Spirit

Fact: The Word of God is our weapon against the attacks of Satan.

Action: Read and study the Bible. It is God’s tool to prevent Satan’s strongholds and thoughts from infiltrating into our lives.

Bible: “and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,”

Quote: As the sword defends the soldier it offends his enemy. Thus God’s Word is a killing sword as well as a keeping sword. Not only does it keep the believer from surrendering to external temptation but it kills his inward lusts and completes the victory.

Prayer

If we are not in prayer, our reliance on God is diminished allowing spiritual warfare a much easier access to our lives. We must pray for the mind of Christ. Set aside time every day to pray and listen to God’s Word. Pray at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.

And as Paul concludes, he says, “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.” Ephesians 6:18-20 ESV

Conclusion:

In Nigeria, it didn’t take me long to learn how to conduct myself in Lagos. For survival, I learned to be bold. I learned to walk with confidence. I learned how to talk to those who tried to intimidate me. I learned not to walk in the streets alone (if ever).

When I maneuvered through Lagos’ Murtala Muhammed International Airport all by myself one day, I found I was able to hold my head high, shuffle through the crowd, ward off swindlers, tow my baggage, and reach my destination. That day I knew I had accomplished a feat many foreigners fail to achieve—to feel confident in their walk!

It’s the same when Christ-followers trust in the God of the Armor. We soon feel confident in our walk with Christ. We can hold our head above inconsequential disagreements, controversial church strategies, and/or misinterpreted theology. We can move through the crowd with discernment. We can experience godly tranquility when Satan’s fiery darts come at us. We will have the knowledge needed to handle our past, present, and future experiences and attacks. But, most of all, we will have faith that our destination with Jesus Christ is secure and one day we will be living in glory with Him in Heaven.

Just as our Nigerian security alerts warned us how to proceed even before any unknown danger might occur, so does the Bible warn us how to be pre-prepared against the schemes of the devil, because we never know when he might attack. It is so easy to become ensnared in the devil’s traps, and the best way to be on guard is to put on THE WHOLE ARMOR OF GOD—even before the temptations and evils come upon us. This can be accomplished by following Ephesians 6:18-20 with a sincere and longing heart to please our Lord and Savior.

Bible Verses:

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 ESV

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. 1 John 2:15-17 ESV

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, let me trust wholeheartedly that you have the power to fight off the fiery darts of Satan. Allow the Gospel of Jesus Christ be saturated in my mind and being. Teach me how to put on the whole armor of God daily. Refresh me with your word and through my prayers. Let me adore, honor, and love you all the days of my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

God Bless and please share this message as an encouragement to others,

greenenpastures.org

Member Inspirational Writers Alive #IWA; Bible Gateway Blogger Grid Member #bgbg2

If you are hooked and want to read Part 1-3 of this SPIRITUAL WARFARE series, please click below.

SPIRITUAL WARFARE: An Introduction, Part 1

SPIRITUAL WARFARE: Satan and Jesus, Part 2 of 4

SPIRITUAL WARFARE: The Battle Between Good and Evil, Part 3 of 4

SPIRITUAL WARFARE: The Armor of God, Part 4 of 4

Works Cited

Gurnall, William. The Christian in Complete Armour: a modernized abridgement of the Puritan classic by William Gurnall. Carlisle: The Banner of Truth Trust, 2017.

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Spiritual Warfare: Satan and Jesus Christ – Part 2 of 4

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With the spoiler alert given in Spiritual Warfare: An Introduction – Part 1, we know that Jesus Christ wins the battle over Satan. But Satan still tries to get into the minds of Christ-followers through temptations and trials. He attempts to confuse us and sway us away from all Godly behavior and thoughts. The Scripture tells us that Jesus does not tempt anyone—thus leaving Satan as the cunning and crafty tempter (See James 1:13).

This article looks at Satan as our adversary and Jesus Christ as our mediator. Girding us with His strength, Jesus fights our battles as we face Satan’s persuasive temptations and relentless trials.

Spiritual Warfare: Satan—The Adversary

The Bible calls Satan the Father of Lies (John 8:44), but he disguises himself as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14).

Satan and his demons want us to fail as we go through testing and trials. Demons are fallen angels who follow Satan. Their plan is: to ruin God’s plan, obstruct people from working for the Lord, and deceive us into believing sin is acceptable.

Don’t be fooled by Satan—the master of lies and deception. We may hear words, like those below, in our mind or from other people. Be alert and be aware that these types of statements are NOT to be believed.

“Dipping in the company fund one time won’t hurt you—God knows you need the money.”

“Pornography isn’t hurting anyone. You are in the room all by yourself.”

“So, what if she/he is married? She/he isn’t happily married.”

Satan wants us to sin. He wants us to be disobedient to the laws and mandates of God. He tempts us with the deeds of the flesh.

The Bible speaks of those encouraging sin as those disguising themselves as apostles of Christ.

For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. No wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:13–14).

Sometimes we experience deep temptations from Satan. Other times we experience tests from God to prove our devotion to him. As in the case of Job, God allowed Satan to test Job. Job lost his family, his friends, his possessions, and his health. We must recognize that spiritual warfare attacks are from Satan—the deceiver—even though sometimes God has given permission for Satan to tempt us to test our faith and loyalty to Him.

Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:19–21).

Sometimes the spiritual warfare we face may be intense! It is often so deep that one might feel the only way to rid themselves of this battle is to succumb to it. But we must persevere through these times. We must stand firm and fight the temptation with every fiber of our being. The trial or struggle may seem strange. It may come out of nowhere. It may be a terrifying internal struggle that no one knows you are going through or it can be out in the open and even be physically manifested in fatigue, depression, or an oppressed appearance. But the lure is real. Satan wants us to fall prey to his schemes because he wants to make us ineffective for Jesus Christ. But God will use these times to test our character to see if we can be shaken.

In Spiritual Warfare: How to Stand Firm in the Faith, Ray Stedman says,

Among Christians, the devil will often attack in the realm of the intellect to lead us to be overly obsessed with certain points of theology. There are many Christians who pride themselves on being intense students of the Bible and systematic theology . . . I believe that one of the greatest triumphs of Satan has been his strategy of pulling people away from a simple childlike faith and leading them into endless pointless disputes over doctrinal minutiae. ₁

I like Stedman’s word obsessed. While he is talking about being obsessed with theology, we can be obsessed with other things—our marriage, our reputation, our jobs. Satan will use what he needs to in our thought life to lead us away from fulfilling God’s will for our lives. We cannot fight the enemy’s strongholds in our own strength. Satan wants to make us ineffective witnesses for Christ. While Christ will forgive our sins, those trespasses can create havoc in individuals’ lives and cause all one has worked for in their lives to collapse and/or be destroyed.

Spiritual Warfare: Jesus Christ—Our Mediator

A few years ago, my husband and I were in downtown Belize City. When we left a fabric store, I noticed a group of young boys around 8 or 9 years old following my husband with their eyes fixed on the wallet in his back pocket. I knew what they were planning, so I fell back behind my husband and walked between my husband and the boys, preventing a pickpocketing incident from occurring. Acting as a mediator between my husband and the boys, I kept the crime from ever occurring.

That is exactly what Jesus—our mediator—wants us to do. He wants to step in and prevent sin from transpiring. He wants us to turn to Him and be our mediator. Just as I was being a mediator that one summer day, Jesus wants to be our mediator to prevent us from falling into sin. Leaning on Him for our strength is our source of power.

For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself as a ransom for all, the testimony given at the proper time (1 Timothy 2:5–6).

Christ is stronger than the devil. He defeated Satan on the cross. While Satan can afflict people, he cannot defeat God. Satan is intelligent and deceitful; he knows our weak points and he tempts us in those areas. We must remember that the demon’s goals are to impair and wreck lives. The Bible says we must know the schemes of the devil. By being aware of the devil’s schemes, God’s children can face current or future battles with understanding, discernment, and strength.

Through persistent prayer, immersion in God’s Word and possible fasting, this struggle can be won. This battle belongs to the Lord and Jesus is our mediator to help us through it. There is a form of darkness that comes to us when we experience this agonizing form of spiritual warfare, but the battle is still His. Satan presses in hard, but we should not be fearful. We should give the Lord glory and honor by relinquishing our lack of strength and power to Him, so He can fight the devil on our behalf.

Give the Lord glory and honor by relinquishing our lack of strength and power to Him, so He can fight the devil on our behalf. GreenePastures.org, @PattiGreene13
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When a Christ-follower has finally made it safely through this excruciating period, gratitude and thanksgiving for saving us from sin, we must still be diligent and on guard, in case the same temptation comes upon us later—maybe next month or maybe in the next decade. We must put on the armor of God and fight this severe temptation with complete surrender, trusting that God through our mediator Jesus Christ is the only one able to take our weaknesses and make us strong.

Finally, be strong in the LORD and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. (Ephesians 6:10–16).

Bible Verses:

Again there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came among them to present himself before the Lord. The Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?” Then Satan answered the Lord and said, “From roaming about on the earth and walking around on it.” The Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man fearing God and turning away from evil. And he still holds fast his integrity, although you incited Me against him to ruin him without cause.” Satan answered the Lord and said, “Skin for skin! Yes, all that a man has he will give for his life. However, put forth Your hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh; he will curse You to Your face.” So the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, he is in your power, only spare his life.” Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. (Job 1:2–7)

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I [Jesus] came that they may have life and have it abundantly. (John 10:10)

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus, I believe You are the source of protection. Protect me from my weaknesses and temptations. I want to draw closer and closer to You. I need Your power to overcome the fiery darts flung on me. I am choosing You today and every day, so You can use me for Your glory. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

God Bless,

greenenpastures.org

Member Inspirational Writers Alive #IWA; Bible Gateway Blogger Grid Member #bgbg2

₁ Stedman, Ray. Spiritual Warfare: How to Stand Firm in the Faith. Grand Rapids: Discovery House, 1999.

Bible verses are taken from the NASB if not noted otherwise.

SPIRITUAL WARFARE: An Introduction, Part 1

SPIRITUAL WARFARE: Satan, Jesus, and Trials, Part 2

SPIRITUAL WARFARE: The Battle Between Good and Evil, Part 3

SPIRITUAL WARFARE: The Armor of God, Part 4

If you are hooked and you don’t want to miss out on the rest of this SPIRITUAL WARFARE series, click HERE to sign up for email notifications to receive news posts and monthly newsletters on this subject and more. To receive new post notification, you will receive an email to confirm your subscription.

Also, if you found this post helpful, please like/share it so others can get the benefit. Thanks.

Bible verses are taken from the NASB if not noted otherwise.

Edited by E. Johnson

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Valentine’s Day: Interpreting 1 Corinthians 13

Valentine’s Day is synonymous with February 14th. It’s the date that most people associate with LOVE, HEARTS, CANDY, and FLOWERS!

We know it’s close to Valentine’s Day because we see the gifts in the stores dressed up on lovely lace displays. We know it’s close to Valentine’s Day because Hallmark and other stores are stocked with lovely red cards abounding with hearts and kisses. We know it’s close to Valentine’s Day because our online pop-ups tell us with advertisements to purchase that special gift for that special person. And we know it’s close to Valentine’s Day because there is a reminder on our print and online calendars that it’s VALENTINE’S DAY!

Love has different meanings to different people. To some love means respect. To others love means acceptance. To others, love means a gushy sentimental type of lust.

The apostle Paul wrote a lovely poetic segment in 1 Corinthians about love. When you read the following verses, you can see that love is involved with actions—how we treat our family—how we treat our church family—how we treat our enemies, and more.

In the New American Standard Version (1 Corinthians 13), Paul urges us to view love in the following ways. (New American Standard Version. 1 Corinthians 13:4-13)

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails; but if there are gifts of [prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now, we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:14 GreenePastures.org/Valentines-Day
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I decided to just take a few of the LOVE qualities and explain/define them using Greek the common language used in the New Testament. I pray the one the Holy Spirit wants you to hang on to this week is below.

Love [is . . .]

  1. Patient— makrothumeō (mak-roth-en)

To be long-spirited; to be long-suffering, to have long patience; to be patient; to patiently endure; slow to anger.

  1. Does not brag— perpereuomai (per-per-yoό-om-ahee)

Does not boast; to be lifted up with pride; to become haughty; to think too highly [of].

  1. Does not take into account a wrong suffered— logizomai (log-id’-zom-ahee)

To take an inventory; to conclude; to judge; to suppose; to hold.

  1. Does not rejoice in unrighteousness— chairό (khah’ee-ro)
[Do not] be glad; do not be happy; especially on meeting or parting; rejoices as in salutation or parting.

  1. Believes all things— pisteuō (pist-yoo’)

To have faith (in); upon or with respect to; a person or thing; to entrust one’s spiritual well-being to Christ.

  1. Love never fails— agape (ag-ah-pay)

Love; affection or benevolence; speaking goodwill towards others, “the love of God” or “of Christ;” being full of love; the love of our neighbor; the brotherly affection which the Lord commands and inspires.

  1. Faith—pistis (pis’tis)

Reliance on Christ for salvation; the gospel.

  1. Hope—elpis (elpece’)

To anticipate usually with pleasure; hope of salvation through Christ; earnest expectation.

  1. Love—agape (ag-ah-pay)

Love; affection or benevolence; speaking goodwill towards others, “the love of God” or “of Christ;” being full of love; the love of our neighbor; the brotherly affection which the Lord commands and inspires.

  1. Abide—menō (men’o)

To stay; to abide; to dwell.

On this Valentine’s Day, commit to becoming a loving person following the qualities Paul set out to share with the followers of Jesus.

God loves us. Let’s love others.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

God Bless.

If you missed my last blog titled, “Feeling Trapped: How to Relieve Anxiety, Depression, and Hopelessness, click here to read it. (There’s a cute photo of a cat for my cat-loving followers.)

www.GreenePastures.org/feeling-trapped

The Hebrew-Greek Key Word Study Bible. Ed. Spiros Zodhiates. Chattanooga: AMG, 2008. Print.

All verses are from the NASB unless noted.

If you found this post helpful, please like/share it so others can get the benefit. Thanks. If you would like to receive email notifications of new posts or to receive monthly newsletters, please click here and scroll down on www.GreenePastures.org to subscribe.

Books by Patti Greene

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

#bgbg2, Christian Living, God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit, Life Issues, Salvation

Feeling Trapped: How To Relieve Anxiety, Depression, and Hopelessness

Have you ever had a feeling of being trapped? If you have, it is not a pleasant experience.

Imagine being trapped in an elevator; trapped in a coal mine; trapped in solitary confinement, or even trapped by human trafficking. In everyday life, we can be “trapped” in our marriage, our career, our home, our physical body, our financial situation, or even in our place of worship.

The feeling that you cannot do anything to escape these situations is discouraging and scary. Sometimes these situations can cause us to become apathetic, slide into a mental illness, or even become suicidal.

Everyone experiences “feeling trapped” at some point in their life—if not physically, emotionally.

Individuals with physical disabilities may feel trapped in “their handicap.” Those with mental illnesses feel trapped in their psychic.

Trapped: Unfortunate Life Circumstances

Unfortunate life circumstances usually build upon 4 phases. First, a concern leads to an anxiety. Anxiety leads to depression.  And depression leads to hopelessness. How one moves or fluctuates through these 4 stages are dependent upon one’s emotional stability or specific happenstances that occur along the way.

The first and only time I entered a tanning salon, I was quite panicky. It was mainly peer-pressure that lead me to enter the doors of the tanning salon in the first place. Once there, I should have felt secure since the instructions given were thorough and detailed even before I entered the tanning room. However, I felt uncomfortable about how I was dressed (or should I say not dressed) as I rotated myself into the tanning bed. As I laid in the booth, my anxiety rose. I wasn’t sure what thought overpowered me—the regret of even being there or my fear of a severe heat rash burn. I wanted so much to close my eyes and relax, but I feared that if I fell asleep, the attendant might never come back. My fear became so exaggerated I truly believed I might die.

Apparently, I suppose the instructions were not as good as I originally thought because I learned later that there is a space where my hand could have fit to open the tanning lid myself. I was unaware that the lid didn’t lock! There was a way of escape, but I didn’t know it. The same goes for us when we encounter unfortunate life circumstances.

While the illustration above is biographical and true, it is told as a “moral tale” to share how we may react under pressure. The question now presents itself as, “What happens when one feels trapped?”

When You Feel Trapped and Your Dreams Are Shattered

When your dreams are shattered, you may turn to psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, fortune tellers, clergy, and more. You will do anything you can to be free from the situation. Then, when the “helpful” people cannot provide relief, you become depressed and hopeless. At this point, you may lose your will to go on, because your dreams have been shattered. You see no viable choices to rid yourself of the deep rut you find yourself in.

You might . . .

– Divorce your spouse and leave your children,

– Quit your job,

– Change your living situation,

– Resign yourself to being mentally or physically deranged,

– Claim bankruptcy,

– Drop out of the church, or more.

When a situation becomes too painful, you want to escape instantly. But, there is another option. That option is to trust in the Lord to help you through the trials you are facing. Sometimes we are even fixating on the wrong aspect of our dilemma. Somewhere in my concern over the tanning bed, I probably should have been more concerned about the ultra-violet radiation and the possibility of getting cancer, but I wasn’t.

Trust in Jesus: The Way of Escape

God is a mighty God—always willing to help you escape distressing perpetual life emergencies. When you reach a severe lowness in life, God’s desire is for us to look up and receive His son Jesus Christ. Trusting Christ and asking Him to change your heart is the best place to start. He loves you and wants to help you with the pain and agony you are experiencing.

In Receiving and Giving, author David A. Peterson writes, “God never steps over us in our trouble. God never turns a blind eye to our need. God is never insensitive to our broken dreams. God is not put off by the consequences of our rebellion. Our walls are ever before Him.”¹

God’s Gift of Salvation

God desires a personal relationship with you. His gift of salvation is available to you. Without Christ in your life, your existence may seem incomplete.

But, God has a plan for your life. To experience His will, you must accept Jesus Christ with a change of heart towards Him. Through a personal conviction when God Himself comes to you, we can repent, turn from our sin, and have faith in Christ. Once this occurs we are born again into the family God.

While situations may not improve overnight, you have the assurance that God is on your side and that He is helping you live securely and contently with all of life’s unexpected turns. God is always present to give you wisdom and understanding. Through all your ins-and-outs of life, God’s guidance will help all you to remedy and work through your distressing situations properly.

Jesus Christ is powerful. He can heal your marriage, find you a new job, and provide miraculously for your every need.

We do not have to live a lifetime of feeling trapped. His love and His willingness to lead our lives into productivity are absolutely astounding.

God is a mighty God—always willing to help you escape distressing perpetual life emergencies. www.GreenePastures.org
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8 Steps to Relieve Our Concerns, Anxiety, Depression, and Hopelessness

  1. If you haven’t already accepted Jesus Christ, you must ask God to forgive your sins, to accept Jesus Christ, and have faith in Him to be your Lord and Savior.
  2. If you have accepted Christ but are not following Him fully, you must recommit your life to worship Him with your entire body and soul.
  3. Pray and not lose heart over your situation.
  4. Brainstorm your problem. Think of ways to change your situation and spend time going through all the ideas you come up with and see what might work. Then, give all these ideas to Jesus in prayer again.
  5. Determine not to make any changes until you experience both His guidance and direction.
  6. Accept and seek help—medical, spiritual, or both.
  7. Read the Bible and determine not to proceed with any action that is contrary to the Word of God. You may need to talk to a mature believer or a pastor for help in discerning what is right from wrong, especially if you are a new believer in Christ.
  8. Share your concerns with a trustworthy friend or counselor.
  9. Understand that God may be teaching you a valuable life lesson through your situation.
  10. Then, start again with No. 1.

Jesus asks, “What do you want me to do for you?”

Bartimaeus, a blind man was sitting by the road begging when Jesus was passing by. He heard a multitude of people going by and he asked what the commotion was all about. He was told Jesus was passing by. He called out say, “Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me!” He was sternly told to stop and be quiet, but he kept crying out to Jesus. Jesus stopped and commanded that this man be brought to Him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?” Bartimaeus said that he wanted to regain his sight. Jesus told him, “Receive your sight; your faith has made you well.” His request was granted, and he received his eyesight, began to follow Jesus, and glorified God. (Luke 18:35-43)

Think of the possibilities. When you feel trapped, wouldn’t you like God to ask you, “What do you want me to do for you?” Trust Him and start the process by telling Him what you want Him to do for you. His answer might just be exactly what you need to start afresh!

Bible Verses

Peter said to them, “Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. (Acts 2:38)
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6)
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows. (Luke 12:7)

Prayer

Dear Lord. It is hard for me to fathom that you can get me out of the situation I am currently in. I feel trapped with no way out. I don’t think I can take it anymore. Lord, help me in my unbelief. Help me to reach out to you and accept your salvation and guidance. Teach me to pray. Teach me to desire Your will and Your Word. In Jesus’ Name. Amen

God Bless,

Member Inspirational Writers Alive; Bible Gateway Blogger Grid Member

¹Peterson, David. Receiving and Giving: Unleashing the Bless Challenge. Houston: David A. Peterson, 2012.

Bible verses are taken from the NASB if not noted otherwise.

If you found this post helpful, please like/share it so others can get the benefit. Thanks. If you would like to receive email notifications of new posts or to receive monthly newsletters, please click here and scroll down on www.GreenePastures.org to subscribe.

Books by Patti Greene

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

#bgbg2, Caregiving, Death, Faith, God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit, God's Will, Life Issues, Medical, Parenting and Family, Salvation

Caregiving Part 5: Spirituality

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Caregiving. My husband and I moved in with my mother when my father passed away a year and a half ago. Mom is a fragile 91-year-old. Her health is not good, but her mind is phenomenal. Today I drove Mom and her friend to their church for a special service. We stayed afterward for the end-of-the-year Women’s Club luncheon. The women chatted, laughed, and enjoyed fellowship with their friends. You might ask why I chauffer my mother around like this; I do it because I love my mother and I want her to continue to enjoy the church she has attended for the past 50 years. It is there she fellowships with her friends and shares a spiritual connection with others and the Lord.

As a caregiver, our concerns usually center around our parents’ emotional, physical and social life. One aspect often lacking in caregiving is an interest in the elderly’s spiritual life. Whether you are a part-time caregiver or a full-time caregiver, giving yourself to the spiritual needs concerning your parents is truly a privilege.

For those who take their spirituality seriously, a sense of purpose and fulfillment undergirds their lives. Despite this fact, some do not understand or take seriously this component of another’s life. Understanding spirituality is complicated because there are so many scenarios and so many definitions of spirituality at play. They involve answering questions such as:

  • Are you a part-time caregiver or a full-time caregiver?
  • Are your parents living in the same town or city as you are?
  • Are you a strong believer, a ‘sort of’ religious person, or an uninterested individual?
  • Have your parents lived a dedicated life for Christ and the church? Have they attended church sporadically? Or, have they rarely explored any ‘religious’ life?

Once you mix and match all these different dynamics together, it’s time to discern and pray about your part in your parents’ spiritual life. Regardless of your parents’ spiritual background, caring for them is one of the most compassionate undertakings you or your siblings can pursue. Included in regular caregiving responsibilities, being a part of allowing your parents to pursue or continue their interests in God, church, and spiritual growth is an important part of caregiving.

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (1 Timothy 5:8)

Your Parents

Many seniors who have attended church all their lives develop a deeper desire for the things of God when they get older; but many do not. Some glide into old age making their spirituality more of an inward feat and not a community feat. In Spirituality and Aging, Sociology Professor Emeritus at Marquette University David O. Moberg says, “Many scientists who study spirituality and aging have concluded that spirituality increases with age. However, it is also important to acknowledge that other prominent researchers disagree with this premise.” ¹ Gerontologists are starting to see how the spiritual life regarding their patients yields an unexplainable peace and calmness as they face the future. As a result, their physical well-being is often affected in a positive way. They see their patients with faith as possessing strength and tranquility regarding their future.

Driving Forces Why Seniors Depend on God

  • Many seniors are concerned about their death and the afterlife.
  • Their faith provides strength as they face illnesses, loss of friends, and loneliness.
  • They have more time to pray and read their Bible.
  • Concern over a reduced income and the ability to meet their needs.
  • A renewed or deepening dependence and guidance by the Holy Spirit.

At a time when seniors tackle new challenges, many undergo losing their support systems. This should be a huge consideration in churches as “baby boomers” are starting to fit into the senior adult category.

Driving Forces Why Seniors Abandon their Faith and Church

  • Lack of activities for seniors—Feeling of alienation may occur when more emphasis is given to youth ministries, young adult ministries, or any ministries besides senior adult ministries.
  • Miss traditions—They feel left out, unwanted, unneeded in the congregation. Seniors enjoy the familiarity of things past, i.e. hymns, Sunday dinners, fellowship luncheons.
  • Difficulty adjusting to change—The new programs and facilities are too much for them. Adjusting to change is especially hard for the aging population.
  • Hearing loss—They can’t hear the preacher or Sunday school teacher.
  • Stimulating services (music, yelling, confusion)—The British Alzheimer’s Society discusses noise triggers by saying, “[People with Alzheimer’s] feel bewildered or anxious because there is too much noise, too many people around, or a change in a familiar routine.”
  • Other disabilities—There may not be handicapped parking or wheelchair accommodations at the church. They may be unable to get to church due to disability or inability to drive themselves. Or maybe, there is too much walking to get to their classes or sanctuary easily.

Caregiving and You

As a family caregiver member, it is imperative for you to be cognizant of your parents’ needs. This includes their spiritual needs.

Practical Ways You Can Help

  • If you live in the same town or city as your parents, bring them to church and church functions.
  • If you live out-of-town, contact their church organization, friends, or other family members to set up transportation.
  • If your parents are in a facility, investigate what kind of spiritual activities that are available.
  • Make their living environment familiar and comfortable, i.e. put their favorite cross in their room, be sure their Bible is easily accessible.
  • Provide notecards, stamps, and addresses so they can write and minister to their friends.
  • Get their hearing checked by an audiologist.
  • Get their eyesight checked by an optometrist or an ophthalmologist.
  • Purchase a large-print Bible for them if needed.
  • And, if you or family members live in the same city or town, be sure to visit them!

Whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 4:11)

Questions Caregivers Must Ask

  • What hindrances are my parents facing?
  • My parents used to attend church. Why don’t they go now?
  • How do I approach my unbelieving parents about Jesus Christ?

These are just a few of the many questions caregivers might have. You may want to spend some time thinking, meditating, and praying for what questions need to be asked and how you can be a part of the solution.

How to Pray: Ten Tips for a Better Prayer Life

Keep Yourself in Top Spiritual Shape

Being connected to God’s divine source can help you manage better as your caregiving duties progress. Continuing or starting to seek God’s presence and strength in your life will assist you as you care for and minister to your loved ones. Understanding you are not perfect alleviates a mindset of inadequacy. Remind yourself of all your parents have done for you. If they haven’t done much, it is time to ask God how He wants you to treat them and care for them regardless of the past. God is available to help you as you support your parents. By being their caregiver, you can be assured, God has given you a divine assignment—one that you won’t regret.

Salvation and Eternal Life

On our most recent visit to my mother’s oncologist, we were discussing mom’s diagnosis and future prognosis. In his matter-of-fact intonation, he said, “Mrs. —————, life is a terminal illness!” While we don’t want to think about life like this, it is true. We all will die and face an eternal future.

As we live our earthly life, let us be ever mindful about our eternal destination. Gaining an understanding of our future existence is significant in understanding life-and-death anxieties and angsts.

Both caregivers and parents and all humanity will die. CRU (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ) discusses four laws in the booklet “Have You Heard of the Four Spiritual Laws?” ²

Four Spiritual Laws

Law 1: God loves you and offers a wonderful plan for your life.

John 3:16

Law 2: Man is sinful and separated from God. Therefore, he cannot know and experience God’s love and plan for his life.

Romans 3:23

Law 3: Jesus Christ is God’s only provision for man’s sin. Through Him, you can know and experience God’s love and plan for your life.

John 14:6

Law 4: We must individually receive Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord; then we can know and experience God’s love and plan for our lives.

Revelation 3:20

A Heart-to-Heart Prayer

If you or your parents have not accepted Jesus Christ, now is the time to have a frank conversation with God. If you are unsure how to pray for God’s salvation, a simple well-meaning prayer can be the best decision for both of your lives.

Dear God, I know I’m a sinner, and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe Jesus Christ is Your Son. I believe that He died for my sin and that you raised Him to life. I want to trust Him as my Savior and follow Him as Lord, from this day forward. Guide my life and help me to do your will. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.” ³

If you have accepted Jesus Christ but your parents haven’t, now is the time to have a candid heart-to-heart with them.

Eight days before my father passed away, I had a candid heart-to-heart with him. He prayed a prayer akin to the prayer written above. As we sat on his couch at 5 am we quietly talked together and talked to God. Some may call this a deathbed conversion. No matter what it is called, my father accepted Jesus Christ and God used me to help him make the best decision of his life.

Caretaking means being responsible for various aspects of your parents’ life. As we face our parents’ sundown years, let’s do what we can to help them hold on to, delight in, and agree to take part in their spiritual life while at the same time progressing and preserving our own spiritual life.

Do You Fear Death?

Bible Verses: See above.

Prayer:

Dear heavenly Father, as I consider all the needs of my parents, let me be mindful of their whole being. I pray for their emotional, physical, social, and spiritual life. Make me aware of their needs. Let me offer my help. Give us both peace. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

God Bless,

Member Inspirational Writers Alive; Bible Gateway Blogger Grid Member

Edited by E. Johnson; Bible verses are taken from the NASB if not noted otherwise.

Works Cited/Bibliography

¹ Spirituality and Aging. http://www.nap411.com. Accessed 10 May 2017.

² Greene, Patti. Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer. Bloomington: WestBow, 2016. [Permission given from CRU for Have You Heard of the Four Spiritual Laws summary.]

³ Begin Your Journey to Peace. www.peacewithgod.net. Accessed 10 May 2017.

Coming Soon: Caregiving Part 6: How to Prepare, Embrace, and Survive the Final Moments

If you found this post helpful, please like/share it so others can get the benefit. Thanks. If you would like to receive email notifications of new posts or to receive monthly newsletters, please click here and scroll down on www.GreenePastures.org to subscribe.

Books by Patti Greene

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

#bgbg2, Caregiving, God's Will, Life Issues, Medical, Parenting and Family

Caregiving Part 4: Housing Options for Elderly Parents

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Senior citizens are living longer. They have access to medical treatments which can prolong their lives. Many “baby boomers” encounter difficult decisions about caregiving and living arrangements for their parents. While boomers are concerned about their parents’ well-being, they are often clueless about what housing options are available.

Evaluating the Level of Care Your Parents’ Needs

Safety Issues – Are your parents safe in their home? Is their driving safe for themselves and others? Are they able to take care of themselves?

Medical Issues – Are your parents able to administer and track their own medicine? What medical conditions do your parents have? Are they showing signs of memory problems?

Social Issues – Are your parents lonely? Do your parents have friends they like to socialize with?

Location – Are your parents happy where they live now? How will changing their current living situation affect them?

Cost – Are your parents financially able to sustain a decent standard of living? Are they able to afford their current housing arrangement?

Many parents are making cross-country migrations, leaving home to live with their children. The Chicago Tribune tells the story of Elizabeth Larson.

Elizabeth Larson, 93, moved from Champaign [Illinois] to be near her son, who lives in Hinsdale [Illinois].

My son said that if anything happened, if I needed him, he was too far away,” she said. She thought he was right. And she knew the solution, and that it would involve her leaving Champaign. Larson was sorry to leave neighbors she liked. But she didn’t have to leave her two closest friends. They had already moved to out-of-state retirement complexes near their own adult children. “So it was easier for me to move,” she said. And “in a way, it was kind of exciting. I thought it would be nice to be near my son. ¹

While it was a nice amicable move for Elizabeth, it can be a gut-wrenching decision for others searching for senior housing options. Moving is a complex and confusing decision. The earlier you assess your parents’ desires and needs the better it will be. By becoming aware of the different housing options available, you may be the biggest asset helping your parents come to terms with their living arrangement. Communicate with them, give them time to consider the options and be kind and gentle as they face one of the most difficult decisions of their lives.

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Most Common Housing Options for the Elderly

Independent Care—Consists of single family homes or townhomes for self-sufficient seniors. They offer security and social activities in their community living setting. Services such as laundry, meals, transportation and social activities are usually provided. They are not regulated by the government. Independent Care facilities have a country club environment. The average cost to rent or buy a home, including community fees, can be up to $2,000 per month or more. They are also called retirement communities, retirement homes, or senior apartments.

Assisted Living—A community which provides 24-hour assistance. The personnel assists with eating, bathing and bathroom use. However, 24-hour medical service is not provided. Their care usually includes laundry, meals, transportation, social activities, toilet care, housekeeping and medication aid. Assisted living communities are regulated by the state. Other names for assisted living facilities are personal care homes, eldercare facilities, residential care facilities, group homes, and community residences. The cost ranges from approximately $2,300-$5,500 per month.

By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established. (Proverbs 24:3) www.GreenePastures.org
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Nursing Home—A community which provides 24-hour assistance with daily living and medical care by nurses and therapists. Nursing homes include doctors on call, hospice and end-of-life services, medication aid, housekeeping, toilet care, bathing, dressing, transportation, and laundry. Nursing homes adhere to both state and federal regulations. They are also called rest homes, convalescent homes, and skilled nursing facilities. The cost averages between $4,000-$12,000 per month.

Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRC)—Campus-like communities which provide care from private residences to assisted living and skilled nursing care. They are designed for individuals with declining conditions. Many times the residents move from one community to another as their conditions change. The services are the same as nursing homes. CCRCs have some state regulations. These facilities are also called Continuing Care-Retirement facilities and life care facilities. Services and costs vary depending on what level facility one is in.

Aging in Place—Many seniors decide to age in place. This is a living arrangement where the elderly and their children have made the choice to live in the children’s home, their parents’ home or the home of their choice for as long as they are capable. When assistance is needed, nurses, private aides, physical therapists and other needed personnel will come to the home. Many seniors need to remodel their houses to make them suitable to meet their needs as they age. Financial planning is a must to handle living and home and providing for any outside help.  ²

Defining Types of Care for the Elderly

Skilled Care—a type of intermediate care where the patient or resident needs more assistance than usual, generally from licensed nursing personnel and certified nursing assistants. This care is not the same as long-term care, in which a resident may not need the services of a licensed nurse on a daily basis.

Custodial Care—care when seniors need caregivers to help take care of them. Unfortunately, many older adults reach a time in their life when they can no longer care for themselves. They cannot get around the house without assistance. They cannot do the things they once did, as their physical and mental skills are not quite as sharp as they used to be. A caregiver may make all the difference between an older adult struggling with life’s demands and an adult who has a helping hand.

Palliative Care/Hospice Care—a special type of care offered to patients who are at the end of their lives. Both hospice and palliative care centers are about providing the best care possible to their patients.

Hospice care most often occurs in a home environment. Hospice is not a place—It is a concept. A hospice team consists of doctors, nurses, social workers, spiritual personnel, therapists, aides, and volunteers. Hospice does not focus on treating medical problems; rather, it centers on keeping the elderly pain-free, comfortable and happy during their last days. In the Hospice Handbook, Larry Beresford says, “While hospice is care for the dying, it places special emphasis on life and living each day as fully as possible.” ⁴ Eligibility in most hospice programs require an estimated death within the next six months due to the terminality of the patient’s illness.

Palliative care centers around the concept of care also. A nurse is there to lend support to the patient and family and to manage the pain and other symptoms which are affecting the patient. Palliative care usually occurs in a facility such as a hospital, assisted care facility, or nursing home that is associated with a palliative care team.

Due to different policies, It is important to consult with your physicians about what type of care is best for your parents.

Home Care—a type of medical and assisted living in which the care provider works with the patient within their own home. Typically, the process involves an initial meeting between the care provider and patient to determine the personal needs and the level of care required. The care provider and patient will then come up with a personal and customized program to make sure the patient’s needs are being met. The health care provider may be either a licensed professional or a part of a company which specializes in assisted living. Typically, assisted living organizations are comprised of nurses, doctors, and other medical professionals and are assigned to each patient based on their own specific needs.

Residential Care Homes—In some areas, residential care homes are the last resort in terms of finding placement for residents who don’t quite meet the criteria for nursing home care, but may not have the funds for assisted living. Residential care homes also tend to be a good choice for seniors who have mild mental health issues that hinder their ability to live independently or to be accepted into assisted living facilities.

Adult Day Care—places senior citizens into the hands of licensed professionals who are fully capable of taking care of them. For many people, this is a way for the elderly to get out of the house and socialize with other people. Socialization is extremely important; some people could easily slip into depression if they don’t have someone they can talk to.

Companion Care—Companions for the elderly. Companion care personnel are usually trained by their company in safety and CPR. They are also called comfort caregivers. No certification is required to be a companion. ³

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you. (Exodus 20:12)

How to Pay

Often finding housing for our parents boils down to financial ability to pay for services. Without going in depth, some ways to finance parental care are to use private savings from the parents or children, money from the sale of a home, long-term insurance, reverse mortgages, Medicare or Medicaid, VA benefits, stocks/bonds, or any other financial means family or parents possess.

As children face the prospect of caring for their aging parents, complex decisions about housing are imperative. Each housing options listed above comes with benefits and complexities. It is up to the family to educate themselves on what is available by communicating with them and providing time to formulate a plan that works for all parties involved.

When my father passed away, my husband and I decided to move into my mother’s home to care for her. It was a mutual decision on our parts with the understanding that we would talk if the situation was not working well for any of us. As retired baby boomers, our situation allowed this arrangement. While it isn’t for everybody, it was a mutual decision made in the best interest of both my mother and ourselves.

As you face any upcoming living arrangements for your parents, be open-minded, respectful, realistic and informed.

The expression “there’s no place like home” is true. But, when the time comes when parents need to consider whether to move or not, let’s make sure that whatever plan is crafted creates a secure, comfortable and pleasing environment for all involved.

Bible Verses:

Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 4:11)

Cease striving and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10a)

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. (Romans 5:1)

Prayer:

Dear Lord, As I face caring for my parents, please help me honor and respect them in all decisions that must be made regarding living arrangements. I trust that You will guide me and give me wisdom as plans and decisions are made. Thank you, Lord, for helping me. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

God Bless,

Member Inspirational Writers Alive; Bible Gateway Blogger Grid Member

Coming Soon: Caregiving Part 5: Spirituality

Edited by E. Johnson; Bible verses are taken from the NASB if not noted otherwise.

Works Cited/Bibliography

¹ Older Parents Divulge What It’s Like to Leave Home to Live Near Adult Kids. Chicago Tribune. 5 June 2015. http://www.chicagotribune.com.

² Paying for Senior Care. https://www.payingforseniorcare.com. 5 May 2017.

³ Assisted Living Today.  http://assistedlivingtoday.com. Accessed 5 May 2017.

⁴ McGovern, Sue. What Everyone Should Know About Hospice. St. Meinrad: Abbey Press. 2004. Print.

If you found this post helpful, please like/share it so others can get the benefit. Thanks. If you would like to receive email notifications of new posts or to receive monthly newsletters, please click here and scroll down on www.GreenePastures.org to subscribe.

Books by Patti Greene

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

#bgbg2, Caregiving, Life Issues, Medical, Parenting and Family

Caregiving Part 3: Being Your Parents’ Advocate

The “rich and famous” can hire a personal health advocate to help them with the issues they or their parents face as they age. These advocates help with access to medication, transportation, and other individual challenges.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines an advocate as “one who pleads the cause of others.” ¹ They speak up for their client when they can’t speak up for themselves. While it would be nice for every elderly person to have their own personal health advocate, it is usually left up to family members to advocate on behalf of their parents and relatives rather than employing a paid staff member to help them navigate through the health and medical system.

Your parents need you and family members to:

  • Become familiar with their rights
  • Work on their behalf
  • Understand the intricacies of the services available
  • Be there to sign permissions, and
  • Resolve and discuss issues related to their healthcare.

Advocacy is essential when your parents reach a certain stage in life where they are unable to keep up with the complexity of the healthcare system. The elderly’s main health advocacy topics revolve around their doctor visits, medication, illnesses and disorders, dementia/Alzheimer disease, and Medicare/Medicaid.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. (James 1:5)

Make Hay While the Sun Shines: Doctor Visits

If possible, you or a family member should accompany the aged to their doctor appointments. This is especially important if your parents have any cognitive disabilities surfacing. Establishing a relationship with your parents’ doctors and an office is the beginning of establishing an agreed-upon working plan for their healthcare.

Writing down questions for the doctor before the visit is always a good idea. You will want to bring a list of your parent’s symptoms with you to discuss with the physician. No matter how trivial a question might seem to you or your parents, it is important to bring it up so the doctor can piece together the entire picture so the best care is given. However, keep in mind doctors only have so much time allotted for your visit, so prioritize your questions and comments to each physician.

Always bring a list of your parent’s medications to all doctor’s appointments. Medication or dosage may change from week to week, so it is critical to inform every physician visited of any changes to vitamins, prescription drugs, and over-the-counter-medicines. In addition, depending on your parent’s insurance policies, you may want to ask your doctor to prescribe the generic medicine if it works as well as the non-generic.

After your visit, record what the doctor said, fill any new prescriptions, talk about the visit with your parents, and write down the next appointment date in your calendar along with a reminder to call for the results of any blood work.

Here Goes! Medication

Many seniors take an agglomeration of medication. It is a daunting task for them and their caregivers to make sure they are labeled correctly and administered properly.

My mother has a medicine that comes in two dosages. The problem is that the pills are the same exact shape and size. One day she wasn’t feeling well and she noticed an irregular heartbeat. After a little detective work, we discovered that she was taking a double dose of medicine because the two pills looked so similar except for the small inscription on the pill. It was quite evident that this double dose was causing a significant problem for her—one that was easily remedied but not always easy to detect.

Polypharmacy is the term used when four or more medications are prescribed to a patient. Most adults over 65 years of age are taking four or more meds and monitoring all their medicines becomes more difficult. Using the same pharmacy for all prescriptions is advantageous and advisable. The pharmacist will have records of all the medicines taken and whether there are possible side effects and interactions with other medicines. Once prescriptions are received, note the ailment that the prescription is for on the bottle or tube.

If your parents aren’t competent, it will be left up to you—the advocate and caregiver—to manage their medications. If they aren’t able, you or a family member will be responsible for doling out, organizing, and storing their medicine.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)

To help with medicine, it is wise to write what ailment all prescriptions are used for on the bottle or tube. Doing so will not only help you, but it will be useful for anyone who might need to take over distributing medicine to your parents.

Prevention is Better Than a Cure: Illnesses and Disorders

The aged are living longer now than previous generations. It follows, then, that as they live into their 80s, 90s, or even their 100s they will encounter a multitude of diseases and disorders. The most common issues affecting seniors are listed below

Accidents, Health Issues, and Disorders

  • Blood
  • Bone, joint, and muscle
  • Brain, spinal cord, and nerve
  • Cancer
  • Digestive
  • Ears, nose, and throat
  • Eye
  • Health issues and disorders of the elderly
  • Hearing
  • Heart and blood vessel
  • Hormonal
  • Immune
  • Infections
  • Injuries
  • Kidney and urinary tract
  • Liver and gallbladder
  • Lung and airway
  • Men’s health issues
  • Mental health
  • Mouth and dental
  • Nutrition and metabolic
  • Skin
  • Women’s health issues

As an advocate for your parents, you must be aware and discerning about their condition. It is not uncommon for the elderly to fear to tell you of new symptoms that present themselves. They may be concerned about bothering you or they may be justly concerned that you might move them from their home to a facility if it appears they have too many problems. By telling them you are concerned and asking them to be honest with you, they are more apt to mention any symptoms they notice.

If your parents are having memory problems, their ability to tell you about new symptoms may be diminished.

In This World, Nothing is Certain: Dementia and Alzheimer Disease

As we age, nothing is certain. No one knows what illnesses, if any, may be bestowed on them. But, one of the most devastating diagnoses imaginable is when you and your parents hear the words “dementia” or “Alzheimer’s.”

The terms dementia and Alzheimer’s are often used synonymously to represent any kind of changes in the brain which negatively affect cognitive function. However, they are defined differently.

The Alzheimer Foundation of America defines Alzheimer’s disease as “a progressive, degenerative disorder that attacks the brain’s nerve cells, or neurons, resulting in loss of memory, thinking and language skills, and behavioral changes.” The foundation also defines dementia as “a general term for a decline in mental ability severe enough to interfere with daily life. Memory loss is an example. Alzheimer’s is the most common type of dementia.”

The signs were already there with my father. My mother and I noticed them gradually over the years. His confusion, inability to calculate a tip, slower reaction time and forgetfulness became more pronounced. By the time we took him to a neurologist, we knew. But when my father heard the word “dementia,” he was affected. It was his reaction that concerned us the most. He became worried about living and being an encumbrance on us, but at the same time was happy to have a name to put with his symptoms. Everyone reacts differently to the news. And, with Alzheimer’s or dementia, your parents may react differently from day to day!

Speaking specifically to Alzheimer’s, there are changes to the brain that have signs and symptoms. While the symptoms vary from one person to the next, some of the most common first symptoms of Alzheimer’s are: ³

  • Difficulty with word-finding
  • Vision/spatial issues, and
  • Impaired reasoning or judgment
  • Getting lost
  • Changes in personality

Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease. If you notice memory and cognitive changes with your parents, make an appointment with a neurologist. They will be able to discuss your parent’s symptoms with both of you. The physician will ask about the overall health of your parents, give memory tests, look at blood work, and possibly perform a CT, MRI, or PET scan to obtain a probable diagnosis. It is important to realize there are other medical conditions that can cause the same symptoms as dementia or Alzheimer’s and the physician will want to rule those out.

Owen Darnell has written a beautiful Alzheimer’s poem titled Do Not Ask Me to Remember. ⁴

Do Not Ask Me to Remember

Do not ask me to remember,

Don’t try to make me understand.

Let me rest and know you’re with me,

Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.

I’m confused beyond your concept.

I am sad and sick and lost.

All I know is that I need you

To be with me at all cost.

Do not lose your patience with me.

Do not scold or curse or cry.

I can’t help the way I’m acting.

Can’t be different though I try.

Just remember that I need you.

That the best of me is gone,

Please don’t fail to stand beside me,

Love me ‘til my life is done.

All Systems Go: Medicare

Lastly, as your parent’s caregiver, overseeing their Medicare or Medicaid is vital.

Medicare is health insurance for people 65 or older, people under 65 with certain disabilities, and people of any age with End-Stage Renal Disease (ESRD) (permanent kidney failure requiring dialysis or a kidney transplant.

A quick overview of Medicare from Understanding Medicare [medicare.gov] states,

  • Medicare Part A helps covers hospital insurance.
  • Medicare Part B helps cover medical insurance.
  • Medicare Part C is a Medicare Advantage Plan that includes all benefits and services under Part A and B and more.
  • Medicare Part D helps cover the cost of prescription drugs.

Medicaid is a federal system providing health insurance to those requiring financial assistance.

Keeping up with the benefits and changes in Medicare or Medicaid is important because it can affect your loved one’s premiums, deductibles, hospital care, drug coverage and more. It is important not to miss deadlines for signing up and/or making changes that will affect your parent’s coverage.

There may be major changes for both Medicare and Medicaid under the new Trump administration. Reform is always in the works. Being vigilant and knowledgeable of these government programs can affect the health and care of your parents.

For more information on Medicare, click on Medicare.gov.

For more information on Medicaid, click on Medicaid.gov.

One Day at a Time: Wrap Up

Advocating for your loved ones can be exhausting and overwhelming. Your spiritual life can be a real comfort during this season. Acting in Christian love will enhance your character and provide a renewed hope for your parents. Some days will be more trying than others. Praying to be the sons and daughters your parents need will give you strength and help you to set a loving tone each day as you handle the infinite issues involved in your parent’s care.

Your parents need you to help them manage and advocate for them through their doctor visits, medication challenges, illnesses, and insurance programs. Concentrate on short-term goals. And proceed “one day at a time.”

Bible Verses:

So, do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:34)

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17:22)

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor. (Romans 12:10)

Prayer:

My heavenly Father, I can get so overwhelmed with all the jobs involved in caregiving. You know I love my parents. You know I care, but I get tired. There is so much to do each day. Give me Your strength and wisdom as I face the challenges ahead. Let me wake each day with a renewed love for You and my loved ones. Let me live day by day in Your presence. These things I ask in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

God Bless,

Member Inspirational Writers Alive; Bible Gateway Blogger Grid Member

Coming Soon: Caregiving Part 4: Housing Options for Elderly Parents

Edited by E. Johnson; Bible verses are taken from the NASB if not noted otherwise.

Works Cited/Bibliography

¹ Merriam-Webster Dictionary. merriam-webster.com. Accessed 26 Apr 2017.

² “About Alzheimer’s Disease.” Alzheimer Foundation of America. alzfdn.org/AboutAlzheimers/definition.html. Accessed 12 Dec 2016.

³ “Alzheimer’s Disease Fact Sheet National Institute on Aging Alzheimer’s Disease Fact Sheet.” NationalInstitute on Aging. nia.nih.gov/…/publication/alzheimers-disease-fact-sheet. Accessed 4 Apr 2017.

⁴ Owen, Darnell. “Alzheimer’s Poem: Do Not Ask Me to Remember.” alzheimers.net/2013-08-05/do-not ask-me-to-remember-poem. Accessed Apr 26 2017.

If you found this post helpful, please like/share it so others can get the benefit. Thanks. If you would like to receive email notifications of new posts or to receive monthly newsletters, please click here and scroll down on www.GreenePastures.org to subscribe.

Books by Patti Greene

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

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Caregiving Part 2: Getting Your Parents’ Affairs in Order

As a caregiver, one the most important things you can do for yourself and for your aging parents is to have a conversation with them about their legal, medical, and financial affairs. It is often left up to the children to address these issues and get the ball rolling before a crisis is upon the family.

A story was told about three daughters who tried to have that talk with their mother, but she would always avoid the topic by steering the conversation in a different direction. Their mother then passed away unexpectedly after at the age of 74 after falling down a flight of stairs. Since the conversation never took place, they were left learning that their mother had a mortgage on her house and the bank which held it could not divulge any information to the daughters without a death certificate. The girls found some items where they expected to find them, but then they found their mother’s insurance policy in a knitting bag.¹ Situations like these create frustration and stress as children try to handle the affairs of others before and after their parent’s death.

Often relatives are capable of setting their loved one’s affairs in order. Other times legal, medical, and financial help is needed to obtain the correct advice and documents.

A legal specialty called “elder law” helps families find specific help and advice to ensure their health and wealth is protected from upcoming legal issues, medical decisions, and money questions. An elder care attorney can usually help you see through your parent’s information. The result is an efficient approach to get you going in the right direction. Some families utilize their doctors, their financial advisers, and their own personal attorneys to reach the same goal. Different states have different laws and procedures for end-of-life planning, so it is always best to check what the laws are in your state as some may require a witness, a notary signature, or an attorney signature.

No matter which route you choose, be proactive. With so many terms related to elder care planning, I have chosen to give you a list compiled from various sources that will help you know what might be needed in your own situation. Sometimes the three areas of legal, medical, and financial overlap and other times an issue will fall directly under one category.

But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence. (1 Peter 3:15)

Legal Terms

Will/Trust – It is essential to have an up-to-date will and/or trust that designates financial, estate, and legal control and distribution. You and/or the elder may have few assets, but even with simple estates, it is generally advisable to have an attorney create a document that will protect the elder’s wishes about his or her estate.

Many people confuse a will with a trust. They both create designations for one’s assets.

Elder Law Answers, a long-term care and planning resource website, distinguishes the two by stating that the main difference is that a will and a trust is that a will goes into effect only after you die, while a trust takes effect as soon as you create it. A will is a document that directs who will receive your property at your death and it appoints a legal representative to carry out your wishes. By contrast, a trust can be used to begin distributing property before death, at death or afterward.

Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA) – A document that grants a person or persons (“Attorney-in-fact”) the legal powers to perform on behalf of the elder (“Grantor”) certain acts and functions specifically outlined in the document. This power is effective immediately and continues even if the grantor becomes disabled or incompetent. The powers usually granted include real estate, banking and financial transactions, personal and family maintenance, government benefits, estate trust and beneficiary transactions.

Advance Directive – Written instructions regarding an individual’s medical care preferences. The forms vary from state to state, but in general, advance directives can include a Living Will, Health Care Power of Attorney or Health Care Proxy, and a Do Not Resuscitate or Do Not Intubate Order (DNR or DNI). You do not necessarily need a lawyer to create these. ²

“An advance directive goes into effect only if you are incapacitated and unable to speak for yourself.” ³

Medical Terms

Advance directives are for people of all ages who might face any medical emergency or crisis. By maintaining up-to-date advance directives, you can be sure the medical treatment you want is carried out. It also relieves family members from making the gut-wrenching decisions that might occur in emergency situations. Be sure your family knows where these documents are and keep them in a handy, accessible location.

CPR (Cardiopulmonary resuscitation) – [Resuscitation that] might restore your heartbeat if your heart stops or is a life-threatening abnormal rhythm.”

Ventilator Use – Ventilators are machines that help you to breathe. A tube connected to the ventilator is put through the throat into the trachea (windpipe) so the machine can force air into the lungs. Putting the tube down the throat is called intubation.

Comfort Care – Comfort care is anything that can be done to soothe you and relieve suffering while staying in line with your wishes.

Hospice Care – [Provides] comfort to you and your family during a life-threatening illness, rather than provide treatments to cure the illness.

Palliative Care – [This is] similar to comfort care in hospice, but it is offered along with any medical treatments you might be receiving for a life-threatening illness.

Living Will – A written document that helps you tell doctors how you want to be treated if you are dying or permanently unconscious and cannot make decisions about emergency treatment. [It is important to note that a living will is different from the legal will mentioned above.]

Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care – A legal document naming a healthcare proxy, someone to make medical decisions for you at times when you might not be able to do so.

DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) – Tells medical staff in a hospital or nursing facility that you do not want them to try to return your heart to a normal rhythm if it stops or is beating unevenly. [Take this to the hospital and be sure your doctor has a copy of this document.]

DNI (Do Not Intubate) – Will alert emergency medical staff in a hospital or nursing facility that you do not want to be put on a breathing machine. [Take this to the hospital and be sure your doctor as a copy of this document.]

Organ and Tissue Donation – Allows organs or body parts from a generally healthy person who has died to be transplanted into people who need them. ³

HIPPA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) – MedicineNet.com defines HIPPA as “a U.S. law designed to provide privacy standards to protect patients’ medical records and other health information provided to health plans, doctors, hospitals and other health care providers.”

To have access to your loved one’s medical records, written permission must be given. Doctors, hospitals, other providers of healthcare have HIPPA release forms for their patients to sign. These release forms authorize all or some medical information to be disclosed to other individuals or organizations. Checking to be sure you have access to your loved one’s medical records is important.

Financial Terms

The time may come when the elderly parent is not able to handle their own finances. This could be due to mental or physical impairment, visual difficulties, falling prey to scams, or the death of a spouse who handled the finances. Don’t be afraid to step in to be sure financial losses do not occur. With the advent of the computers, the elderly may easily transfer money, buy or sell stocks, or give money away without a family member even knowing. You may need to assess the situation and find out what tools will help prevent unfortunate situations from occurring.

Joint Accounts – The elder can add you or another relative to a checking account as a joint account holder. This makes you a joint owner of the funds — both you and your loved one can withdraw and deposit money and write checks. It allows the elder to maintain some independence and control and allows you to keep an eye on things, pay bills, and handle some (but not all) financial affairs.

Single-Owner Accounts with an Authorized Signer – Your older relative can add you as an authorized signer on a checking or savings account, without making you a joint owner. This means you can write checks and withdraw and deposit funds. However, because you are not an owner of the account, all transactions must be made on behalf of the elder.

Automatic Payments – You can ease the bill paying burden by helping your older relative set up electronic automatic payments or withdrawals for monthly bills.

Representative Payee for Social Security Benefits – The elder can designate you as their representative payee for Social Security benefits. A representative payee receives the Social Security benefit checks and is responsible for using the funds on behalf of the elder.

Financial Power of Attorney – With a financial power of attorney, the elder gives another person legal authority to act on their behalf. ⁴

In addition, if your loved one has an Individual Retirement Account (IRA), stocks, mutual funds, or other accounts with financial institutions, a call to those businesses might be in order. They will be able to direct you as to handling the daunting situation you may be facing with your parent’s financial matters.

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. (Romans 13:7b) www.GreenePastures.org
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Just Do It

Let’s face it: you may not feel equipped to initiate a conversation about the legal, medical, and financial decisions that you may encounter. But, when we approach our elders with kindness, listen to their opinions, and let them know that we are on their side to help them to make these decisions, we can proceed with confidence that we are carrying out their desires.

And by doing so, we are honoring our parents. The apostle Paul summed it up accurately when he writes, “Honor your father and mother. This is the first of God’s Ten Commandments that ends with a promise. And this is the promise: that if you honor your father and mother, yours will be a long life, full of blessing.” (Ephesians 6:23 LB.)

Bible Verses:

The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.” (Matthew 25:40)

The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged. (2 Timothy 2:24)

Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

Prayer:

Lord, thank You for the many resources where I can find information to help me with my parent’s legal, medical, and financial needs. Make me aware of information that is pertinent to the care of my parents. I truly want to be the best caregiver I can be. I need Your guidance and help. Let me love like You loved. Let me serve like You served. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

God Bless,

Member Inspirational Writers Alive; Bible Gateway Blogger Grid Member

Coming Soon: Caregiving Part 3: Being Your Parents’ Advocate

Edited by E. Johnson; Bible verses are taken from the NASB if not noted otherwise.

Works Cited/Bibliography

¹ Siegel Bernard, Tara. The Talk You Didn’t Have with Your Parents Could Cost. New York Times, 24 May. www.nytimes.com. Accessed 22 April 2017.

² Caring for Your Parents: Legal Issues, PBS, pbs.org. Accessed 22 April 2017.

³ Advance CARE Planning: Tips from the National Institute on Aging. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. WEB. Accessed 22 April 2017.

⁴ Michon, Kathleen. First Steps to Managing an Elder’s Finances. nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/helping-seniors-manage-money-finances-32268-2.html. Accessed 22 April 2017.

If you found this post helpful, please like/share it so others can get the benefit. Thanks. If you would like to receive email notifications of new posts or to receive monthly newsletters, please click here and scroll down on www.GreenePastures.org to subscribe.

Books by Patti Greene

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

#bgbg2, Caregiving, Life Issues, Medical, Parenting and Family

Caregiving Part 1: Keeping Aging Parents Safe

There are many issues and facets involved in caring for ones’ parents. The style and attitude of care provided to a parent by a child can vary considerably among the parent’s children. One child embraces caregiving with a total outflowing of love and energy while another could experience a total depletion of energy and frustration. Understanding your aging parents involves many aspects of care, especially caring for their safety.

The Utah Caregiver Coalition defines caregiving as “the provision of assistance to another person who is ill, disabled, or needs help with daily activities. It often requires attention to the physical, mental, social, and psychological needs and well-being of both the caregivers and the elderly person requiring care.” ¹

In a Christian sense, caregiving is a call to serve and give your life to another person. Serving others is a Biblical theme discussed multiple times within the context of the Bible as a virtue for us to strive for and act upon.

Through love serve one another. (Galatians 5:13b) www.GreenePastures.org
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A call to serve others comes directly from Matthew 20:28 when Matthew, the most likely author of the book, wrote:

“Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

I was privileged to live with my mother and father during my father’s final days of acute myeloid leukemia and dementia. Currently, my husband and I are living with my mother in her home as she faces her own critical health issues. In June Hunt’s book Caregiving: A Privilege, Not a Prison, she shares that caregiving provides emotional and physical support to someone unable to live independently and makes a choice with the heart and mind to give needed support to a dependent person. She also mentions that “Christian caregiving is offered in the spirit of love, compassion, and relationship.” ²

This same spirit is what I am striving for as I face many diverse issues relating to caring for my own mom as she embraces her final days.

Before addressing the safety of your parents, you must first:

  • Understand the aging process
  • Become knowledgeable about the issues facing the aging population
  • Become proactive regarding the safety issues facing the elderly

Understand Aging

Understanding how seniors age is a difficult feat. They struggle with: forfeiting their freedom and independence, becoming forgetful, losing their eyesight and hearing; experiencing mobility problems, encountering depression, and more. College degrees in aging address topics such as age-related diseases, the biology of aging, nutrition, laws and ethics of aging, and even caregiving.

Your parents may develop attitudes or thoughts they may never have had in their younger years. Feelings of loneliness, friendlessness, uselessness, and unwantedness may unfold. These attitudes may appear as them being unsocial, depressed, anxious, irate or sad. Issues such as living arrangements, financial matters, medical treatments and legal issues may become household topics.

I lie awake, I have become like a lonely bird on a housetop. (Psalm 102:7) www.GreenePastures.org
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Too often caregivers have trouble adjusting to their parent’s newfound attitudes and opinions. As children, knowing your parents will help to understand why and how they act. Facing these issues with a sound and patient mind will help your parents trust and adjust more to the uncertain future they are entering.

On the other hand, some seniors are even-keeled, sweet, sociable, and concerned with the welfare of others all the while dealing with these important decisions.

Let’s look at the case of an older woman who seemingly was very competent in coping with what life held for her taken from an article titled “When God Sends Help, Don’t Ask Questions” in Senior News. ³

She hurried to the pharmacy to pick up the medication. When she got back to the car, she found her keys locked inside.

The woman found an old rusty coat hanger on the ground. She looked at it and said, “I don’t know how to use this.”

She bowed her head and asked God to send her some help.

Within five minutes an old motorcycle pulled up, driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag. He got off his cycle and asked if he could help.

She said, “Yes, my husband is sick. I’ve locked my keys in my car. I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?”

He said, Sure.” He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was open.

She hugged the man and through tears said, “Thank you, God, for sending me such a very nice man.”

The man heard her little prayer and replied, “Lady I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison yesterday; I was in prison for car theft.”

The woman hugged the man again, sobbing, “Oh, thank you, God! You even sent me a professional.”

Become Knowledgeable

In perusing the Internet, I found multiple tips on caregiving. They came under the titles: Tips for Caregivers, Being a Healthy Caregiver, Caregiver Stress: Tips for Taking Care of Yourself, Tips for Caregivers: Coping with Stress and Anxiety, Helping Seniors Manage Money and Finances, and Caring for Your Parents: Legal Issues, and Medical Tips for Seniors. After immersing myself in these articles, I have compiled some brief tips to help you get started with your caregiving tour de force:

  • Get your parent’s medical and legal information in order. Keep these items in a location easy for quick retrieval. The items and information you want to locate and secure include advance directives, wills, medication lists, birth certificates, insurance policies, estate planning documents, usernames, passwords, and safety deposit keys.
  • Communicate with your parent’s doctors, lawyers, pharmacists, and financial advisors.
  • Have candid conversations with your siblings. Delegate and plan a schedule for shared care even if one person is the primary caregiver.
  • Watch for medical issues that may surface regarding your parents and yourself.
  • Find out what your loved one’s preferences are regarding future living arrangements, long-term care, medical decisions, and legal issues before they are not able to participate in these discussions.
  • Understand you are not alone: You may need to seek out support from others. Realize, however, that unless your friends or relatives have experienced it themselves, they may not be capable of truly understanding your position.
  • Understand that being your parent’s caregiver is not an easy job. It is exhausting and possibly expensive, but it can be the most rewarding experience of your life.

Be Proactive in Creating a Safe Environment for Your Parents

According to the U.S. Consumer Products Safety Commission, “Many older Americans are injured in and around their homes every year. The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) estimates that on average 1.4 million people aged 65 and older are treated in hospital emergency rooms each year for injuries associated with consumer products. Within this age group, the rate of injury is the highest for people 75 years of age and older.” ⁴

Too often caregivers are so overwhelmed they overlook basic safety issues within the home. Some issues of concern here are:

  • Do you need to purchase a medical alert fall-protection system?
  • Do you need to discuss opening their doors to strangers?
  • Do you need to discuss fraud and scams— Internet fraud and telephone scams?
  • Are the shelves in their living quarters secure?
  • Will phone and electrical cords cause a tripping incident?
  • Do you need to discuss what to do in an emergency?
  • Does the doorbell work?
  • Are the rugs on the floor secure?
  • Are there flammable liquids around the house?
  • Are hallways free of clutter for walkers and wheelchairs?

To see a more exhaustive home safety list, click here: https://www.cpsc.gov/PageFiles/122038/701.pdf

Many elderly men and women still drive. Some are capable; others are not. One of the hardest things any person has to give up is their driver’s license because it represents their independence and self-sufficiency.

Caregivers must be actively involved in the driving safety of their loved ones. Sometimes adult children can tell their parents that it is time to relinquish their keys; other times it is best left up to a physician or other entity. Either way, securing the safety of your loved one and those around them is important.

Some discussions to have with the elderly are:

  • Do you know which routes are the safest to take?
  • Have you had your hearing and vision checked recently?
  • Which is the best way to get to the doctor, church, friends, grocery store, and other places?
  • Using a taxi, bus or shuttle if needed.
  • Not driving when an emergency occurs.

To see a more exhaustive driving assessment checklist, click here: http://www.caregiverslibrary.org/Portals/0/ChecklistsandForms_DrivingAssessmentChecklist.pdf

Conclusion:

One of the most important things about caregiving is being informed. I was recently asked to teach a six-week class on Caregiving at my church. At first, I couldn’t believe someone would ask me while caretaking myself, but I did anyway, and it was great!

In preparing for the class I consulted many resources. I read books, websites, and articles on the topic. It was through learning more and listening to others that I felt better able to face the challenge with love and appreciation.

I was tasked with finding an appropriate book for the class. I bought seven books and read through about ten more. I finally decided on the best reference book currently available on the topic and I would like to recommend it in hopes this book might help you.

Morris, Virginia. How to Care for Aging Parents, 3rd Edition: A One-Stop Resource for All Your Medical, Financial, Housing, and Emotional Issues.  New York: Workman, 2014. This book can be ordered HERE from Amazon.

Remember, caregiving is different for each of us. As caregivers, we must learn more to understand the aging process, use various resources to become knowledgeable about the elderly and be proactive in providing a safe environment for our loved ones.

Know that your toil is not in vain in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 15:58b) www.GreenePastures.org
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Bible Verses:

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (1 Timothy 5:8)

Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. (Ephesians 6:2-3)

Prayer:

Dear Lord, help me to be the best caregiver possible. Give me wisdom and a desire to honor you in how I serve. There are so many issues to face. You know my time and my schedule. Let me experience joy as I honor my loved ones. Let me seek knowledge. Let me be wise in my dealings with others. Let me be generous with my hugs and kisses. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

God Bless,

Member Inspirational Writers Alive; Bible Gateway Blogger Grid Member

Coming Soon: Caregiving Part 2: Getting My Parent’s Affairs in Order on www.GreenePastures.org.

Edited by E. Johnson; Bible verses are taken from the NASB if not noted otherwise.

Works Cited/Bibliography

¹ What is Caregiving? Utah Caregiving Coalition. utahcares.org/caregiving-2. Accessed 19 Apr 2017.

² Hunt, June. Caregiving: A Privilege: Not a Prison. Dallas: Hope for the Heart, 2015.

³ When God Sends Help, Don’t Ask Questions. Seniorific News. 13 Jan 2017.

⁴ Home Safety Checklist. Consumer Product Safety Commission Safety for Older Consumers.  https://www.cpsc.gov/PageFiles/122038/701.pdf. Accessed 19 Apr 2017.

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Books by Patti Greene

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here