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How Do You Know Who to Marry? by Patti Greene

August 15, 2026 Patti Greene Leave a comment

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Two Hearts

A younger woman (whom I have known for a while) came to me with one of life’s biggest questions: “How do you know who to marry? “

As an older woman, Scripture calls me to guide — so I shared the simple truth God put on my heart. (She has approved my sharing to help others who may have the same question).

The Question

Dear Miss. Patti (Dear‑Abby Style),

I’m in my mid‑30s, and I’ve never dated before. Lately I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to have someone by my side, but I’m also nervous. My mother went through painful experiences with men, and I don’t want to repeat her story.

How do you know when a man is truly ‘the one’? How did you know your husband was the right person for you? I would really appreciate your wisdom.

No Name

My Response

1. Shared Faith

Your question is a wonderful one, and I’m glad you asked. The very first thing to look for is that he is a born‑again believer who truly follows Jesus. Not just in words, but in the way he lives.

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” — 2 Corinthians 6:14

Watch how he treats people — waitresses, coworkers, his parents. A man who honors others will honor you.

2. Character & Respect

Pay attention to his everyday behavior.

• Does he speak kindly?
• Does he show patience?
• Does he respect your boundaries?
• Does he listen to you?
• Does he treat you like someone valuable?

Avoid anyone who yells, belittles, pressures, or shows signs of anger or a need for control.

“Love is patient and kind… it does not insist on its own way.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4–5

3. Purity & Clear Thinking

Avoid premarital sex. It clouds judgment, creates emotional confusion, and can hide red flags. Purity protects your heart and helps you see clearly.

“Flee from sexual immorality.” — 1 Corinthians 6:18

A man who honors God with his body will honor God with his marriage.

4. Shared Life Direction

Ask yourself:

• Are we spiritually compatible?
• Can we talk openly and trust each other?
• Do we laugh together?
• Is he responsible with work or finances?
• Does he want children?
• Would I be stepping into a family he already has?

Marriage is partnership — not just romance.

5. Family & Community Insight

Introduce him to people who love you and know you well.
Ask for honest feedback.
Sometimes others see things we miss.

6. Commitment Before God

Marriage is a covenant before the Lord.

Yes, you vow to love each other, but you also promise God to walk through life together ‘til death do you part. Hard seasons will come, and you need a man who will stand with you, not run away.

“What God has joined together, let no man separate.” — Mark 10:9

This does not mean you have to stay with someone who is abusive or unfaithful. But it does mean choosing someone steady, faithful, and committed.

7. My Own Story

You asked how I knew my husband was right for me. We met at church, and both of us were ready to commit ourselves to marriage — not just emotionally, but spiritually. He was kind to me from the very beginning. We talked openly, shared our hearts, and learned to trust each other.

One of the first signs of his sincerity was his visit to me in the hospital early in our relationship. That told me he truly cared. He treated my mother with respect and tenderness, and that meant a lot to me.

Our backgrounds, education, and upbringings were very different — but Jesus was at the center for both of us. That has held us together for 47 years.

We never believed there was only one possible person in the world we could have married. Instead, we believed marriage was a covenant before God — a commitment to honor, cherish, and walk with one another for the rest of our lives. And by God’s grace, that is what we have done and continue to do.

“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” — Psalm 127:1
“Love never fails.” — 1 Corinthians 13:8

8. Final Thoughts

After 47 years of marriage, the biggest indicators I’ve seen are these:

Does he love the Lord?
Does he truly love you?
Does he respect you?
Do you love him?
What does his past tell you about his patterns?

Pray over these things. Search the Bible. God will guide you along the way!

Bible Verse:

Show me your ways, Lord. Teach me your truth. Guide me because you are the God who saves me.

—Psalm 24:4-5

Prayer:

O holy God, you know my heart. You know the many questions that swirl around in my mind. Please help me know and feel You working in my life, answering my many questions, and leading me along the path You want me to be on, with or without a spouse. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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Books by Patti Greene

Coming Soon: Luke 2: The Christmas Story: Discover the Birth of Jesus in Scripture

Unstoppable: Go the Distance with God ISBN: 979-8284335017

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer ISBN 978-1512760453

Bible Word Search Puzzles: The Gospels ISBN 979-8218070465

Bible Word Search Puzzles: Acts and Epistles ISBN 979-8218092696

Bible Word Search Puzzles: Epistles and Revelation ISBN 979-8363612046

Christian Caregiving: Practical Advice for a Happy Ending ISBN 978-0692115381

Awaken Me: A Devotional Prayer Journal ISBN 978-1490893181

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Prayer and Bible Study ISBN 978-1490893174

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Two Paths, One Savior: Conversations with Glory / Writing and Ministry Together, Week 5 by Patti Greene

August 12, 2026 Patti Greene Leave a comment

Welcome to my NEW Blog Series: Two Paths, One Savior: Conversations with Glory / Writing and Ministry Together, Week 5

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About the Series: This new series shares the story of my friendship with Glory. She is Nigerian, and I am from the United States, yet God tied our hearts together in a beautiful way. We met at a Bible study in Lagos, Nigeria, and her love for Jesus was clear from the very first day.

Glory later moved to Canada, and during a recent visit, I interviewed her about her life and faith. I’ll be sharing one topic each week:

Week 1 – Our Connection and Story greenepastures.org/two-paths-one-savior-week-1/

Week 2 – Early Life and Faith greenepastures.org/two-paths-one-savior-conversations-with-glory-early-life-and-faithweek-2/

Week 3 – Journey and Calling Two Paths, One Savior: Conversations with Glory / Journey and Calling, Week 3 by Patti Greene | Greene Pastures by Patti Londa Greene

Week 4 – Singleness and Ministry https://greenepastures.org/singleness-and-ministry/

Week 5 – Writing and Ministry Together – THIS WEEK

6 – Reflection and Encouragement – Be Encouraged: You’re Not Walking Alone

Week 7 – Friendship and Connection – Enjoy Christ-Centered Friendships

Writing and Ministry Together

Q. What inspires your writing the most?

A. What inspires my writing the most is the word of God. I love the word of God. I can spend forever in it. I never get enough of it. That’s the key thing that inspires my writing, because I take it in, I meditate on it, and I think about how to apply it in my life.

The second thing that inspires my writing is my walk with God. As I take in His word and walk it out, it becomes an adventure. My writing comes from the things I learn and the things I draw from walking with Him. I’m practicing His word and watching it work in my life, and I’m also walking with the people God brings into my life and seeing how His word works in their lives.

Those are the things that inspire my writing.

Q. How does Scripture and personal experience shape your voice as a writer?

A. My writing is primarily shaped by the word of God and my experience of walking with God. Most of what I write comes from what I draw from Scripture—what I learn as I sit with the Holy Spirit and He opens my eyes to the word. He connects the Scriptures to my walk and to my experiences.

One thing I work hard on is not making my experience a standard for anyone else, because I know that’s not how God works. I also know that God uses His word to shape our walk, so I am learning from the word of God, and I am learning to walk the word of God, talk the word of God, and share that word by the way I live.

The people God brings into my life get to witness how the word of God works and produces fruit in the lives of those who believe. The word of God is the primary motivation for my writing, and aligning my walk with His truth helps confirm how His word works.

Q. What message do you feel God is asking you to share in this season?

A. Considering the season I am in and what God is doing in my life right now, I’m learning to see Him as the God who rescues people from troubles that they cannot get themselves out of, who redeems them from the ravages of the situations they’ve lived through, and who restores what was lost in the fire of affliction. These are the three messages God is working in my life currently, and I am seeing them and experiencing them.

I’m experiencing God rescue me. I’m experiencing God redeem me. And I’m sitting in the place where I am watching and seeing how God is doing this work of restoration in my own life. That’s what God is doing right now, and that’s the message—because, like my writing, I speak from my walk with God unless He specifically directs me to speak into something else. Most of the time, I draw from how He is revealing Himself as I walk in His word in my life and in my circumstances.

So right now, I am experiencing God as the One who rescues, the One who redeems, and the One who restores.

Q. How do you hope your writing will minister to others?

A. I am hopeful that my writing will minister to those who want to see God walking with them through their day‑to‑day experiences. I want it to reach those who long to encounter God in the places and ways I have encountered His power—to deliver, to help, to teach, to enlighten, and to heal.

I drink from the well of God through His word and through my life experiences, and I share what He has taught me and is still teaching me. I hope that people who are going through similar situations will find hope and encouragement through my writing and preaching, knowing they are not alone. When God says, “I will deliver,” He is fully able to do exactly that.

If people can see that He has done it in my life, maybe it will help them believe and hold on in those difficult and dark moments, knowing that God honors His word—not just to me, but to everyone who believes and waits for Him.

FACT by Patti

During the years I’ve known Glory, one thing has never changed: the “word” is always on her mind. I’m not exaggerating. I counted how many times she answered my questions using the word “word” above. It was eighteen. Eighteen! And honestly, that didn’t surprise me at all. She LOVES God’s word—the Bible. It’s practically her native language. And her multiple books prove that. Yes, most are on Amazon.

Glory and I met at a Bible study in Lagos, Nigeria, and we bonded immediately. One of the first things she shared with me was her poetry. I offered to help edit her poetry, not realizing I was about to enter a whole new world. You see, I’ve never been a big poetry person—but I didn’t tell her that. Then came the moment I sat down with her poems. Oh my. After going through a multitude—and I mean a multitude—of poems, I started to understand how Glory thinks, how she writes, and how deeply she listens to God. Somewhere between poem number twenty and poem number “I’ve lost count,” I realized she wasn’t just a good writer. She was a gifted one.

Over time, we’ve helped each other with our writing. But the funniest season was when I wrote three Bible Word Search Puzzle books. I had a program that created the puzzles using words I found in the New Testament. The problem? The program didn’t weed out bad words. Yes, you read that right. Bad words. In a Christian word search puzzle. So before publishing, I had to go through EVERY puzzle and hunt for anything inappropriate.

Naturally, I called on Glory. There aren’t too many friends one feels comfortable saying, “Hey, can you look for bad words in my book?”

At first, I asked her to look for twenty bad words. Then I narrowed it down to the worst five. That’s the kind of friend she is—she will sit with you, laugh with you, pray with you, and help you make sure your Bible puzzles don’t accidentally turn into something you’d have to repent for.

We help each other do good works, and we have fun doing it. And honestly, if you’ve ever wondered whether Christian word search authors go buggy searching for bad words—yes, we do. And Glory helped. She always helps. And her writing shows that same heart: steady, faithful, thoughtful, and full of God’s truth.

Bible Verse: “My heart is overflowing with a good theme… my tongue is the pen of a ready writer.” Psalm 45:1

Prayer:

Dear Jesus, thank you for friends who encourage, love, and help us with our needs, whether big or small. Let us love your word so much that it is always on our mind, guiding us how to live, write, or whatever we do. Let us see You as the One who rescues, redeems, and restores us, as we follow You in our lives. Amen.

Next Week: Reflection and Encouragement

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