Tag Archives: God

Friendship, Medical

My Friend Tamara: Life, God, Cancer, and Death

Tamara, my good friend passed away this month from cancer. She was only 40 years old. Thirteen months earlier she had been diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer that had metastasized to her brain, bones, liver, and stomach. She fought a valiant fight to survive. She did not want to leave her 4 children. I was honored to be asked to speak at her funeral service. I want to share my thoughts on my friend who passed away way before her time. The following are the words I spoke at her funeral service. We all know someone who either has or had cancer; thus, this disease affects us all. Please, let me take this opportunity to encourage every women to have their annual mammogram.
The name of the church and the family names have been changed for privacy sake.

Thank you all for coming to Tamara’s service. My name is Patricia, and Tamara and I were very good friends.­­­­­ Today, I have two “notes” to share with you – one from me and then one from my husband Joe. But, first, I will like to share my remembrances of a lovely lady.

Tamara was a praying woman. She shared with me about how scared she was when she moved to Houston from Pennsylvania. But, she said that her parents always told her to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. She wasn’t going to church, but her mom said, “Tamara, you were raised in church – you need to take the children to church.” Her mom gave her the idea to go to the closest church. That was this church – Fruits Baptist Church. She told me she remembers the pastor saying one day that, “You don’t have to feel lonely!” The next day Tamara she attended a Sunday School Class. She claimed she used to be shy, but she prayed, “God, who can I talk to?” It was in that Sunday School class that she told me once that God provided and it was through that class that she was able to share her life with other people and was where I became friends with Tamara. One day, Tamara  and I were talking and I said, “Do you have anything special I can pray for you?” She just looked at me in unbelief that I asked her that. I didn’t understand. Then, she proceeded to tell me that I asked her those exact same words after a Sunday School class one day, and those words were the catalyst that started our friendship. Tamara became an active participant in our Saturday mornings fellowship luncheon which we had once a month too.

One day, I saw Tamara the happiest I had ever seen her. You see, in May, 2013, we threw her a surprise 39thbirthday party. And believe me SHE WAS TOTALLY SURPRISED. We had balloons, cards, presents, and birthday cake. We sang happy birthday to her. She was so overwhelmed with love that her joy went from laughter to tears. It was at this party that Tamara shared the story of her life with us. The Holy Spirit filled the home and filled all of our hearts. While she was blessed, I think everyone who attended her birthday party left more filled and inspired than even she was.

She shared about how her mom sold tomatoes to help her attend a school where she could learn English. She shared about the beautiful furniture her dad made as a carpenter.  In Tamara’s own words, she said the following about her parents.

“My parents raised all of their children to believe in God. My mum taught us that God is the only one you can depend on in life. My dad taught us how to pray for our food and for our sicknesses. My parents raised us well. In Zambia, where most of the people they knew died of AIDS, we had parents that took good care of us. We grew up in bad neighborhoods, but my parents were strict. They were always asking us if we prayed for this or prayed for that.”

tree

Tamara loved Skyping with her family in Africa. She used to tell me about how her dad was quiet, but sometimes she would share something with them and they would get so excited praising God and dancing around. One time Tamara was at my house and I told her I prayed for her often. She said, “You do?” Then, I proceeded to show her in my prayer journal how she was on almost every day. In a sneaky Tamara kind of way, she tried to read the lines in my “personal journal.” She wanted to know EXACTLY what I was praying for her.

Before she was diagnosed with cancer, I prayed for her peace, for hope, for a place to live, for a job, for a car wreck she was in, for Sunday to get a job, for her children and more. Joe and I’s lives became totally intertwined with the family. One time our son Joseph took Sunday, her oldest son, with him to a park in Houston. They went walking on a path while Joseph taught an exercise class. When the class was over, Joseph couldn’t find Sunday anywhere. After waiting about 2 hours (and having many conversations with Tamara about Sunday’s whereabouts, Joseph called the police. Thursday night must be a low crime night because about 5 patrol cars were out searching for Sunday. Finally, one of the policemen found Sunday around 9 at night (in the dark) in the Bayou near the Beltway. The police picked up Sunday and drove him to Joseph’s car quite a few miles away. Tamara and I laughed so hard many times about how Sunday was able to get such special treatment and how he got to ride in a police car and he didn’t even do anything wrong. That is just one example of the laughter we shared on many occasions.

Tamara’s love for her children was so strong. If I had to sum up what Tamara felt about each child, it would be this:
Victor [5th Grade]: Your mom fell in love with your tender and sweet spirit; keep smiling for her. You are any mom’s dream. Devon [7th Grade] : Your mom was so proud of your musical talent and fun-loving spirit; When you play your music, play well for your mom! And remember Luka, your mom thinks you are the best cleaner in the family.
Faith [11th Grade]: Your mom was so happy to have a little girl; she was thrilled with your dancing ability and your strong desire to do well in school; keep it up for her, and keep dancing.

Sunday [2013 High School Graduate]: What you have done for your family this past year has been unbelievable. You were the man of the house for the three kids; you nurtured them; you made sure they were fed; you saw that all their school papers were signed; you got them to and from school; you took your mom to her doctor appointments; you cared for her. You gave up a year of working and going to school to help your family. You will be blessed. Tamara depended on you and God allowed you the privilege of caring for her through her diagnosis and treatment. You will be blessed. And, your mom DID notice your responsible behavior.

And myself, I have been blessed by knowing Tamara and her family. She taught me how to love unconditionally; she taught me to always be faithful; she taught me so much about the African culture so when I moved to Nigeria 1 ½ years ago, I felt ready to face the challenge. But, one thing she didn’t get around to teaching me (and she kept promising me she would teach me is to how to tie those African scarves around my head) – So, the first thing I will do when I see her in heaven with be to get her to show me that.

In conclusion, I would like to share some of Tamara’s words. In May, 2014, Tamara asked me to write this down for her and to keep it and today I would like to share them with you.

These are her exact words written 5 months before her passing.

“In August, 2013, I was diagnosed with cancer.  God is my help through all this. He has helped me in this sickness. People I don’t even know are standing in prayer for me. The doctors are standing with me too. My parents always taught me that God is always able, and I believe that. My encouragement to you is this: Whatever is going on in your life, remember, as my mom has always told me, that “God will always have his angels around you, taking your hand, and Jesus will deliver you in due time.” Matthew 4:6.

Rest in Peace

[Tamara passed away in October, 2014.]
[Tamara passed away in October, 2014.]
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Life Issues

Saying Goodbye

I just spent the final 30 minutes saying goodbye to my driver Lucky. Today we are leaving our expat assignment in Nigeria to move back to the United States. Yes, almost all expats in Lagos, Nigeria must have drivers for safety reasons. Lucky and I sat in the hotel lobby chatting. I shared how much I appreciated his service and love towards us. You see, Lucky is a believer. He is also a pastor. He was also our driver. We both needed each other for the time we had together. Going above and beyond his job description was Lucky’s forte. He would lay out Christian books and magazines for me to read on the backseat of the car. He would play Christian music for me as we drove around if I requested it. He would answer my deep theological questions. Lucky was not only our driver, but a brother in Christ. He shared that when we first came to Lagos my husband became like a father to him. His father died when he was 10 years old. He had no uncles or cousins to fill his father’s void. Per Lucky, my husband became that father figure to him. Have you ever noticed that it is in the final moments with someone, we tend to share our deepest thoughts? It could be the last minutes before you leave your child at college for the first time, it could be during the mother-son wedding dance, and it could be your final moments with a loved one before they pass away. In our final moments, Lucky and I encouraged each other by expressing our love and gratitude for each other. We both confirmed why God drew our families together. We also agreed that The Lord knows why we are being separated. Our most honest thoughts were shared in this final meeting. Now, let’s look at three of Jesus’ last earthly “cry outs” on earth. What did he share before his earthly separation from the people God created Him to serve and be an example to? First, before Jesus’ arrest, Jesus cried out with a loud voice saying, “Eli Eli, lema sabachthani? That is, My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46) Secondly, at his crucifixion, Jesus said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:45) Finally, at his death, Jesus called out with a loud voice saying, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” (Luke 23:46) Whenever we depart from friends, families, jobs, let’s “pretend” that those moments might be our last moments with them. Let’s use our words wisely and follow Jesus’ example by saying only words and phrases that are heartfelt, meaningful, and Godly.

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Bible Gateway Blogger Grid (BG²) is an international network of independent bloggers who meaningfully blog—and who are serious—about matters relating to the Bible. Follow the members on Twitter using our BG² List.

www.PattiGreene.com

Life Issues, Politics and Current Events

State of Emergency

I read a lot of news articles – many involving a particular state of emergency I have them sent directly to my iPhone. I use Google Alerts so I will be notified immediately on certain topics. I read many online newspapers. And I subscribe to “real” magazines.

One day one of the articles that came through one of my sources and printed in the Star Tribune was entitled More than 40 people killed by 2 female suicide bombers in northeastern Nigeria. The article was about two teenage girls that entered the busy marketplace in Maiduguri, a provincial capital in NE Nigerian state of Borno. In their vests were explosives hidden beneath their full hijabs. The first girl detonated her bomb killing 3 women. As rescuers rushed in, the second girl screamed and set off her explosives, killing many more.

While bombings and killings like this occur frequently in Nigeria, I wondered if we are getting desensitized hearing about it. The answer is probably YES. But, with this article, I wondered if the two girls were being used by the Islamic Extremist group Boko Haram who were immediately suspected to be the insurgents responsible for the attack. Were the girls forced to carry the bombs? And were these girls from the group of the 200+ girls kidnapped from Chibok (78 miles southwest of Maiduguri) in April, 2014 that are still missing? Then, my mind wondered if people are really “suicide bombers” if they are forced to carry out a task such as this. I also placed my heart into the minds of those 200 girls’ parents still missing – wondering if they were all now concerned that these two girls might have been their daughters. There must be nothing like losing a child, double that with your child being kidnapped, double that with thinking that your child might be used by an Islamic militant group to carry bombs, and double that with not knowing if your child is dead or alive.

Maiduguri is the largest city in Borno state. The city had already been placed under a state of emergency because of the extreme violence there.

But what happens when a city has been declared in “a state of emergency?” The Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English states a state of emergency is, “when a government gives itself special powers in order to try to control an unusually difficult or dangerous situation, especially when this involves limiting people’s freedom.”

No matter what your ‘State of Emergency’ might be, God is the only one that can come to your rescue, answer your questions, and get you to a place of safety. He can do that, but you must first place your trust in Him as your Lord and Savior. With your relationship secure in Him, He has provided you with His Holy Spirit who can guide you in prayer and help you to understand the Bible in new and exciting ways. Look to Him, read His Word, and believe He will touch you and guide you.

While cities and countries depend on the government to help them during these states of emergencies, we must depend on God through our Lord Jesus Christ to get us through our own personal emergencies.

Ephesians 4:19 – And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. ESV

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Bible Gateway Blogger Grid (BG²) is an international network of independent bloggers who meaningfully blog—and who are serious—about matters relating to the Bible. Follow the members on Twitter using our BG² List.

www.PattiGreene.com

God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit, Life Issues

Shoes, Sin, and Savior

My excitement began when I put on my brand new pair of silver high-heeled shoes! While I don’t have an obsession with shoes, most women [like me] feel pretty confident slipping their feet into a new pair of sandals, wedges, boots, flats, heels, or tennis shoes. I am no exception.

Yesterday, I was “pumped” gracing my feet in this new pair of shoes for their first time. My shoes and I were going out-on-the-town for the first time to Sax Fifth Avenue in Houston’s Galleria to enjoy lunch with my good friend Dorothy. I stepped out of the house with my serotonin level bouncing high!

As I pulled out of my driveway, I noticed my garbage man (okay, sanitation worker) had come, and I needed to bring the garbage can to the back of the house. I exited my car and dragged the garbage can to its resting place. But then the unthinkable happened. I was heading back to my car and I stumbled on the front of my right shoe. Right then and there, I experienced grief, regret, and discouragement all at the same time. Nothing affects a girl’s mood more than getting a tear in a brand new pair of shoes tear the first time they wear them.

But, I continued to the Galleria with the express thought that I would stop at the shoe repair store on my way home and see if the cobbler could somehow prevent my shoe from tearing more. On the drive to the Galleria, my tiny tear somehow became a BIG rip in my mind. When I walked into the Galleria, I was so conscious of the tear in my shoe that my mind even thought, “The Galleria is so fancy that no one should be wearing a torn shoe here.” Crazy, right!

After a lovely lunch with my friend, I decided to drive directly to the cobbler to fix this problem before it got out of hand. In my mind, the cobbler had all of a sudden become elevated to having a doctorate degree in ‘Shoe Repair.’ If anyone could fix my shoe, he could!

I arrived at the shoe repair shop, parked my car in the parking lot, and began pondering and contemplating whether I should go in or not. I finally decided that I was putting way too much emphasis on my new pair of shoes. To make a long story short, I decided not to spend $10.00+/- to get a small tear fixed when my shoes only cost $39.00. I drove home without entering the hallowed doors of my savior –THE COBBLER.

So, why am I compelled to tell my shoe story? It is because all through the day my mind was drifting to find a spiritual meaning to this event. For now though, let’s pretend the small TEAR in my shoe is SIN and the COBBLER is THE LORD.

Just like the cobbler wants to fix our shoes, God wants to fix us. When you and I first sin, we would be wise to go to the Lord immediately to get our sins forgiven and deal with it before we sin more. We all sin, but do we always turn to the Lord after one little bitty sin? Sometimes we do, but other times, we wait until our sins mount. The longer we wait to go to the expert, the problems and consequences of our sins (our tears) get bigger and bigger.

Take the prodigal son. He went off with his inheritance. Excited about his new adventure, he squandered his wealth and became involved in ungodly behavior. He enjoyed himself until one day, he found himself eating with the pigs. His sins accumulated, but finally he decided he had it better at home and he returned to his father. And, the good news is his father accepted him. It would have been best if the ‘prodigal son’ never left home and sinned, but he did.

Sometimes however, we  try to avoid our Father. When avoiding Him, He will be constantly pursuing us to come to Him or to come back to Him. When we postpone or reject God, our situation and consequences usually get worse. The longer we wait the harder it becomes, but remember that God continues to pursue us until the days of pursuing are over.

Whether we have been involved in a crime; had an abortion; deceived our spouse, or other actions, God still loves us. He cares about us, and He will continue to put spiritual people, spiritual literature, spiritual songs, and more in our pathway as he convicts us to return to Him. Our Heavenly Father sees the small tears (sins) in our life, and He wants to fix them as soon as possible before they turns into large tears that come with more dire consequences.

By deciding not to go to the cobbler, I didn’t get the small tear in my shoe fixed. But, it’s just a shoe!!!

Our lives are more important than shoes. God is there to heal all the small tears and big tears in our lives. When we turn to Him, we experience true freedom and well-being. Actually, it can mean the difference between heaven and hell. Wherever you are in your spiritual walk, choose God. Don’t wait. He loves and cares for all of us.

Make God the Master Cobbler in your life. Today!

Bible Verses:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 ESV

But if we keep living in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 1 John 1:7 NIV

And he said, “There was a man who had two sons.  And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them.  Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living.  And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything. “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate. Luke 15:11-24 ESV

Prayer:

Dear Jesus, Thank you for being with me today. Lord, show me my sins – even those little ones that I barely notice. I confess both the small sins and the big sins to you right now. Let me quickly recognize when I hurt others. Lord, you are better than a cobbler who is limited to their expertise. You can fix everything. I ask you to fix me and forgive me for where I have failed you. And trust you as my personal Lord and Savior. Amen.

I hope you enjoyed my blog today, but I’ve got to run. I saw these really cute pair of red strappy sandals . . .

Patti

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Bible Gateway Blogger Grid (BG²) is an international network of independent bloggers who meaningfully blog—and who are serious—about matters relating to the Bible. Follow the members on Twitter using the BG² List.

www.PattiGreene.com

 

Bible Study, Christian Living

Wonderfully Made with Unique Experiences

What in the world? Are we really wonderfully made?

My Houstonian husband and I were recently sitting on an airplane flying from Amsterdam, The Netherlands to Sibenik, Croatia to attend a twenty-fifth wedding anniversary of a friend of ours whom we met in Lagos, Nigeria 18 months ago. While I am not a jet setter by any means, I am learning how to maneuver around some awfully big airports!

Over the last three years, the Lord has graciously provided multiple ‘unanticipated experiences’ for me – Experiences I never would have dreamed possible 3 years ago. I came face to face with a cheetah. I have traveled to the top of a mountain in a cable car. I have lived in Nigeria. I have even had the opportunity to tour through Makoko – a slum on stilts located in Lagos, Nigeria – in which only members of the Nigerian Field Society area allowed to enter.

Looking back over time, my adult life changed from a stay-at-home mom to a high school librarian to a “world traveler.” At least that’s how I felt sitting in seat 6B on that German Wings airplane which was about to land in a former-socialist country which was formerly part of the now-divided Yugoslavia.

I tell you this because we are all unique in and of ourselves and in our experiences.

We have different:

  • Abilities
  • Accomplishments
  • Adversities
  • Anxieties
  • Appearances
  • Assignments
  • Attention Spans

And these are only unique distinctions from the letter A. We also come from different nationalities, speak different languages, possess different genetics, adhere to different political beliefs, encounter different upbringings, and have been subjected to different spiritual experiences.

When pondering the enormity of our uniqueness, I recalled King David’s words in Psalm 139:13-16. “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Here we can see that we are all different because we are ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’ by our Heavenly Father.” We are who God designed us to be US!

While each person lives in a world with some similarities, like sharing the sun, moon, stars, and oceans, we graciously have been given different experiences so we can do the works intended by our heavenly Father for us to do. Someone once asked me, “Why do you think you were led to live in Nigeria for two years?” My response was, “I think that God wanted to teach me some things, and being in Nigeria was the only way He could do it.” This response was rather shocking as they were expecting me to say, “money, a change of pace, or ‘I have no idea.’”

God allows people to go through different experiences with the express purpose of growing them into who He wants them to be and to prepare them for possible unseen ministries opportunities. However, it is up to us whether we take advantage of these opportunities or not. We can be prepared and open to accepting the experiences God places in our lives, by living a life pre-prayed up and filled with Scripture to guide us unto His opportunities for us.

Along with our God-given opportunities, Proverbs 27:1 says, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” Special care must be taken as we speak about our tomorrows, because God is the one who sees the big picture of our lives, and He is the one who can change plans mid-stream in job assignments, health situations, or family needs.

We should live our lives looking and praying to understand that God knows what He is doing in any situation and/or experience we encounter. Look at various Biblical characters. Paul, Rahab, and even Jesus came from totally different backgrounds and experiences, but they were all used to fulfill God’s purposes.

Sometimes following the Lord’s leading is to test our obedience. Abraham went up the mountain to sacrifice his son Isaac only to be shown that God was testing his obedience and then He provided a sacrificial ram.

Once I really psyched myself up and put myself in my parent’s shoes – one at a time. In my mind and on paper, I imagined and analyzed their life. I looked at the background they were raised in, their heritage, their sibling order, their parent’s occupations, where they grew up, where they went to school, what size cities/towns they lived in, and more. It was an amazing adventure for me to understand their experiences and see how even God used their experiences to affect my experiences.

If you are up for an interesting activity, get two sheets of paper and label one page “Mom” and one page “Dad” and start writing. My experiment looked something like this, but much more extensive. Once you have done this, we are in a much better position to understand why we and others act like they do and why we might experience situations where others do not.

Mom

  • Youngest of seven children;
  • Immigrant parents from Italy;
  • Catholic;
  • Raised in small town in Vermont;
  • Scared of birds;
  • Moved to New York City as young adult, etc.
  • Loves to cook, etc.

Dad

  • Raised as an only child;
  • His Dad – Jewish;
  • His Mom- Presbyterian;
  • Grew up near New York City;
  • Was in the Army;
  • Loves to read, etc.
  • Ivy League education, etc.

If you take this challenge, I’d love for you to share your insights atpattilondagreene@gmail.com or in the comments section on this blog.

Throughout life, we encounter both good and unfortunate experiences. It is hard sometimes, but we need to be grateful for both experiences.Psalm 16: 11 says, “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Our experiences make up the path of our lives. While rejoicing when things are good is usually effortless, it is very easy to become bitter through our unfortunate experiences. Life brings us joyous occasions and not-so-joyous occasions. Psalm 118:24 exhorts us to look at each day as being the day that the LORD has made. “This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” While we don’t rejoice in our sadness, we can rejoice because God knows what He is doing. We rejoice because he will be our sustainer through both our good and bad experiences. We should try to evaluate each experience through the eyes of God.

To put it in a nutshell, let’s decide daily to see our experiences through the eyes of Jesus. Let us remember that our experiences will not be like the experiences of others – they are unique to us – because we are unique. Let us remember that through ALL of our experiences, God has our best interests at heart. Jeremiah 29:11says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

And, if you find yourself pinching yourself because you find yourself on some random plane flying to a country you have never been to, ask God to show you the purpose of the experience! There is one even if you don’t see it now.

God Bless You and “Carpe Diem!”

Patti

Bible Verses:

So, then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. Galatians6:10

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. John16:33

Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good. 1Peter 4:19

Prayer:

Jesus, let me see the opportunities that you have placed in my life as experiences sent from Heaven. Let me see them as opportunities to partake in what you are providing for me. Lord, as I look at the experiences of others, please don’t allow jealousy to seep into my heart. Let me not covet their experiences, but be looking with open arms to accept and enjoy the experiences you have put into MY life. Let me see life through your eyes and your eyes only. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Bible Gateway Blogger Grid (BG²) is an international network of independent bloggers who meaningfully blog—and who are serious—about matters relating to the Bible. Follow the members on Twitter using the BG² List.

www.PattiGreene.com