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Our Motives, Intentions and Attitudes [Toward Others]—Part 2

I’ll never forget it. My first thought was, “What was his motive or motives for such a horrendous act?”

In 2009, the New York Times reported that Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, a military psychiatrist, shot and killed 13 people and wounded more than 30 others at the Fort Hood Army base in Central Texas. ¹

Last week, I wondered about the motives of whoever was sending package bombs to media and political figures around the country.

Fortunately, the police and FBI arrested Cesar Sayoc, 56, of South Florida as the prime suspect in the bomb mailings. Based on evidence collected so far, his motive appears to be extreme hatred of left-learning politicians and public figures.

Being a sociology major, I am extremely interested in what makes people tick. Crime shows fascinate me. In these shows, the question of motives always comes up either in the show or within my own mind.

Why Do We Want to Know a Person’s Motive?

  • To indulge our curiosity;
  • To know how to prevent future civil or moral disobedience;
  • To judge others;
  • To know how we can help solve others’ problems through acts of kindness; or
  • To pray for them.

In my blog titled Our Motives, Intentions, and Attitudes – Part 1, we discussed how to analyze our own motives. In Part 2, we will be looking into how we judge other people’s motives and whether it is right or wrong to do so from a Biblical perspective.

As we approach this topic, let’s remember that as we look upon the motives of others, they are looking back at us with the same inquiring mind, wondering, in turn, what our motives might be. Sometimes it is obvious; other times it is not.

When we judge (or try to analyze) the motives of others, our own belief system, personal experiences, desires, and other peripheral factors always come into play—affecting our perception of others.

Are We Judging Others When We Look at Their Motives?

It depends!

Motives can be good or bad, so we must balance how we view motives very carefully: we can’t always determine the motives of a person just by their behavior, deeds, or talk.

I must admit, when I was in my early twenties, I went to Sunday School to learn about God, but I had a double-motive. I wanted to find some dating possibilities. My motivation was what most Christ-followers can accept—the desire to find and date someone with like spiritual beliefs. While not 100% pure motives were involved, most accept and understand my dual motives.

Scrutinizing others’ motives should entail looking at our fellow human beings with the goal of glorifying God. Our words and thoughts should be gentle and humble—always seeking the best outcome for the other person. In this scenario, we would be looking at others in a righteous manner.

When we look at motives in an unrighteous way, our judgments are usually inconsistent with the way Jesus looks at us. Rudeness, roughness, humiliation and deviating from looking at others through the eyes of our Lord is prevalent today. Just look at many of our current political debates where intolerance and a lack of respect exist.

In 1 Chronicles 19, David was fleeing from King Saul and he received help from the Ammonite King Nahash. Nahash and David teamed up and together took on Saul and his army. Nahash eventually died and David, who succeeded Saul as King of Israel, tried to reach out to Nahash’s son King Hanun, but Hanun and his advisors became leery of David’s motives.

David’s men tried to express sorrow for Nahash’s death. Instead of accepting David’s offer of peace and alliance, Hanun humiliated the envoys by shaving their beards and cutting off their garments in the middle.

If Nahash would have taken the time to confirm David’s intentions, things would have turned out differently. Instead of harmonious relations, war broke out between them, and Israel defeated Nahash’s kingdom in Aram.

It didn’t take long for Hanun to decide that King David was insincere in reaching out to give consolation regarding his father’s death. But, he was dead wrong in his analysis.

King Hanun was easily influenced by his princes. Just like Hanun, we allow our friends, spouses, employees and previous experiences to color our attitudes, knowing full-well that adhering to God’s Word should be the primary motive in guiding our actions. Hanun’s princes should have given him time to think through and evaluate David’s kindness.

Instead they asked:

  • Do you think that David’s servants came to Hanum in the land of the people of Ammon to comfort him?
  • Did you think that David really honors your father because he has sent comforters to you?
  • Did his servants not come to you to search and to overthrow and to spy out the land?

In these questions, we see an unreliable group of people who probably had their own motives and agenda in mind to influence the King.

When we look at others, our mind, soul and spirit should be in alignment with the mind of Christ. Seeking God’s perspective on our psyche, spiritual life, and experiences guides us to a true discernment of a person’s motives; this helps us assist them in becoming in tune with God’s ultimate will for their lives.

Through prayer, the Holy Spirit’s guidance and a deep desire to live in the spiritual realm, we can gain an understanding of the intentions of others—most of the time!

The Bible says,

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned.” (Luke 6:37)

“Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.” (John 7:24)

What Does the Bible Mean When It Says, “We Are Not to Judge Others”?

In an article titled, What does the Bible mean that we are not to judge others? by GotQuestions.org, it says:

  • The Bible’s command that we not judge others does not mean there should be no mechanism for dealing with sin. Christians are often accused of judging or intolerance when they speak out against sin. But opposing sin is not wrong.
  • The Bible’s command that we not judge others does not mean we cannot show discernment. Jesus is giving us permission to tell right from wrong. In Matthew 7:15-16, Jesus said, “By their fruit you will recognize them”—the false prophets.
  • Jesus gives a direct command to judge: Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly. (John 7:24)
  • We are always to be gentle toward everyone. Harsh, unforgiving judgment is wrong. (Titus 3:2)
  • Self-righteous judgment is wrong. We are called to humility, and God opposes the proud. (James 4:6)
  • Untrue judgment is wrong. The Bible says to slander no one. (Titus 3:2)
  • Believers are warned against judging others unfairly or unrighteously, but Jesus commends right judgment. (John 7:24) ²

When sin is involved, discerning the motives of others might be the difference between leading a person back to the Lord or letting him continue in sin, thus having him miss out on God’s best for his life.

One time, a prominent member on the school board of the Christian school where I was employed either didn’t like me or misunderstood my motives. Unfortunately, it resulted in me losing my job. Being unjustly criticized (without recourse) by another purported Christ-follower was an extremely painful experience. In a situation like this, a discussion of the situation would have been very helpful in my understanding the member’s motives and, eventually, my forgiving this action. Instead, long years of speculation have occurred.

Another time, one of my best friends misunderstood why I did not congratulate her and her daughter when they “walked down the aisle” upon her daughter’s acceptance of Christ. I was oblivious to the hurt feelings my friend experienced and how upset she was with me. Providentially, my friend called me up and brought my attention to her hurt feelings; thus, reconciliation occurred immediately.

In the first situation, there was no room for discussion, and years and years have passed where I am still haunted about what happened regarding “being let go” because there was no resolution.

In the second scenario, motives were discussed, handled, forgiven, and we were able to move on to a life-long friendship which is deeper than ever because we learned the correct way to handle it.

Discerning the Motives of Others

Reading others’ motives is a skill.

It’s important to remember that not all people’s motives are bad. Many motives are downright positive, e.g. wanting to help someone be all the Lord wants them to be.

In How to Read People’s Motives by Western Mastery, this article discusses why we might want to discern the motives of others.

Their reasoning is because when we know the motives of others, it helps us to know their intentions, helps us to gain insight, how to respond, and how to address their behaviors; ³

When we want to help others to yield their lives to Christ and to His character, discerning their motives might be just the catalyst the Lord wants to use to change their lives.

Misreading the Intentions of Others

On the other hand, it is extremely easy to make a snap judgment about someone or their behavior. Misreading others’ intentions is quite probable. We can misconstrue why people are jealous, fearful, and/or lazy.

We must be extremely careful not to undermine a person or their behavior without cause.

For instance, jealousy can cause a person to question a comrade’s motives because they might feel that their comrade is taking a rightly-earned place or position which the person believes should have instead been his own. Tragically, misreading motives could lead to future scheming, avoidance or even feeling unduly threatened or resentful in the comrade’s presence. In the workplace, this could culminate in a co-worker believing they deserve the promotion or the higher-paying position when, in fact, they do not deserve either one.

What Should We Do When We Question the Motives of Others?

Let’s face it—we are human beings and we sometimes wonder about the motives of others. It may be a cursory glance or a scrutinizing in-depth evaluation.

Some tips are:

  • Don’t rely on a preconceived notion about others. People change. God DOES change people;
  • Don’t depend exclusively on first impressions or our intuition;
  • Find out all the facts before judging a person’s motives (and especially before addressing them);
  • Put yourself in someone else’s shoes; and
  • If you have misjudged someone, apologize and reconcile as soon as possible.

A person’s background, personality, and life experiences may clash with yours, but that doesn’t make you right all the time and them wrong.

Being raised for most of my formative years in London, England or in the northeastern part of the United States, I may not think like some of my friends who were raised in the deep South. My life experiences and spiritual experiences are different than others, but I hope and pray that my friends and acquaintances will look at me through the eyes of God—instead of through my idiosyncrasies.

And especially not in a judgmental way.

When we depend on the Lord, our thinking about others and their motives will be guided by His light and in His wisdom. When we pursue God, He will show us any behaviors or actions He wants us address. Christian love and compassion should rule in our hearts—not negativity or criticism.

In his blog entry about motives, Joshua Kennon warns: “A final word of caution: I would urge you to consider keeping your thoughts on another person’s motivation to yourself.” ⁴ Until Jesus gives you the spiritual wisdom to discern where a person is coming from, keep your ears and eyes open for when, how or even whether you should speak.

When God gives us His wisdom, He will also give us guidance to know how to spur a person to hear God’s voice and experience a deep passion to follow Christ’s will.

Now, that is not being “judgmental”. Far from it!

It’s being a servant of God.

Bible Verses:

All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, But the LORD weighs the motives. (Proverbs 16:2)

Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment. (John 7:24)

A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word! (Proverbs 15:23)

I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give to each man according to his ways, according to the results of his deeds. (Jeremiah 17:10)

Prayer:

Dear Jesus,

I am prone at times to wonder what the thoughts or motives are of others are. I also understand that people, even those I consider friends, question my motives every now and then. I occasionally need my motives questioned and confronted in love. God, please give me Your mind. Give me Your discernment. Give me Your patience. Give me Your ability to speak only when You have led me to do so. Let my life be a replica of You. Lord, I want to represent You in all I do. I really do.

In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

God Bless

Member of IWA-Inspirational Writers Alive!

Member of Biblegateway Bloggers #bgbg2

All Bible verses use the New American Standard Version unless otherwise noted.

Edited by E. Johnson

Works Cited

¹ McFadden, Robert D. “Army Doctor Held in Ft. Hood Rampage.” The New York Times, 5 Nov 2009. www.nytimes.com/2009/11/06/us/06forthood.html.

² “What does the Bible mean that we are not to judge others?” Accessed 8 Oct 2018. https://www.gotquestions.org/do-not-judge.html.

³ “How to Read People’s Motives.” Western Mastery. December 28, 2016. Accessed 2018.8 Oct 2018. http://www.westernmastery.com/2016/12/28/understanding-the-motivation-behind-peoples-actions/

⁴ Kennon, Joshua. “To Have a More Successful Life, Understand the Motivations and Motives of Yourself and the People Around You.” Accessed 20 Oct 2018. http://JoshuaKeenan.com/motives-and-motivations-matter.

In addition, I would love for you to join either my blog or newsletter. Just go to GreenePastures.org and look on the upper right-hand side of the blog to join!

Books by Patti Greene: Available on Amazon

Christian Caregiving: Advice for a Happy Ending by Patti Greene

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I am not a None—One of the Religious Unaffiliated

I am NOT a none. I have never desired to be a none! And with God’s grace, I will never become a none. So, what is a none? Merriam-Webster dictionary defines nones as “the ninth day before the ides according to ancient Roman reckoning” or “the fifth of the canonical hours”.

However, those are not the nones being spoken about in this article. I am talking about the nones as defined in the Oxford University Press website in an article titled “3 Things You Might Not Know About Nones” by Elizabeth Drescher. Drescher defines nones as “a name for people who answer ‘none’ when asked what religious group they most identify or to which they belong.”

It is based on this definition, I will be providing informational quotes from various writers and researchers that will provide enough information for you to understand and intelligently discuss nones with others. In addition, I have included links for easy location of the entire articles.

Currently, nones or my personally made-up word noneship are not within my everyday vernacular or even official words yet, but I daresay that in the next few years, they will join the Merriam Webster’s New Dictionary Word List along with their most recent newest words such as cryptocurrency, wordie, Chiweenie, Schnoodle, ooh, mm-hmm, and welp.

Who is a None?

Becka Alper from Pew Research says, “a growing share of Americans are religiously unaffiliated. [They] recently asked a representative sample of more than 1,300 of these “nones” why they choose not to identify with a [particular] religion.

Out of several options included in the survey, the most common reason they give is that they question a lot of religious teachings. Six-in-ten religiously unaffiliated Americans – adults who describe their religious identity as an atheist, agnostic or “nothing in particular” – say the questioning of religious teachings is a very important reason for their lack of affiliation.

The second-most-common reason is opposition to the positions taken by churches on social and political issues, cited by 49% of respondents (the survey asked about each of the six options separately). Smaller, but still substantial, shares say they dislike religious organizations (41%), don’t believe in God (37%), consider religion irrelevant to them (36%) or dislike religious leaders (34%).”

Alper, Becka. “Why America’s ‘nones’ don’t identify with a religion.” Pew Research Center. 8 Aug 2018.

http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/08/08/why-americas-nones-dont-identify-with-a-religion.

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“The Christian share of the U.S. population is declining, while the number of U.S. adults who do not identify with any organized religion is growing, according to an extensive new survey by the Pew Research Center. Moreover, these changes are taking place across the religious landscape, affecting all regions of the country and many demographic groups. While the drop in Christian affiliation is particularly pronounced among young adults, it is occurring among Americans of all ages.”

“America’s Changing Religious Landscape.” Pew Research Center. 5 May 2015.

http://www.pewforum.org/2015/05/12/americas-changing-religious-landscape/

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“Curiously, the religiously unaffiliated are “about twice as likely to describe themselves as political liberals than as conservatives.”

  • 63 are either registered Democrats (39%) or lean toward the Democratic Party (24%)
  • 72% support legal abortion
  • 73% support same-sex marriage

Hess, Andrew. “The rise of the nones.” Focus on the Family. Focus on the Family. Accessed 21 Sept 2018.

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/about/focus-findings/family-formation-trends/rise-of-the-nones

What is Interesting about the Nones?

“Look at any survey about the state of religion and you will find the same story of decline. Fewer Americans today than in past decades identify with a religion, attend church, engage in religious practices, and view faith as an important part of their lives. Those who advocate the secularization of society applaud such cultural change because they see it as evidence that people are turning away from all things supernatural. However, these trends may be less about our abandoning the supernatural and more about our abandoning each other.”

Routledge, Clay. “Americans quit church but still search for meaning, now as loners.” Nation Review. 14 July 2018.

https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/07/traditional-religion-has-social-value-individual-quests-leave-people-isolated/

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This seems like a circular argument: “The nones are growing because the nones are growing! But sociologically, it makes a kind of sense. Some nonbelievers might have stayed in organized religion in previous generations just because it was socially expected, and there were consequences for not joining the religious crowd. The numeric growth of the nones has removed some of those barriers so that other closeted nones feel more comfortable leaving religion too. There is an infrastructure and support system for them.”

Riess, Jana. “Why millennials are really leaving religion (it’s not just politics, folks). Religion News Service. 26 June 2018.

https://religionnews.com/2018/06/26/why-millennials-are-really-leaving-religion-its-not-just-politics-folks/

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“In 2014, 23% of adult Americans identified as what media and academics have come to refer to as religious “nones.” Although the term covers a lot of territory—atheist, agnostic, unaffiliated, “nothing in particular,” and “spiritual but not religious”—it does not include anyone who identified with a particular faith tradition.”

Winston, Diane. “Millennials and the ‘none’: Why 40 years of religion in US Elections may change in 2015. Vice News. 30 June 2015.

https://news.vice.com/article/millennials-and-the-nones-why-40-years-of-religion-in-us-elections-may-change-in-2015

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“Nones are building communities in myriad ways, some of them more organized than others. From meditation groups to the very church-like Sunday Assemblies,  the religiously unaffiliated are finding ways to connect with one another.”

Blumberg, Antonia. “How the ‘Nones’ can find a sense of community outside of religion.” Huffington Post. 22 July 2015.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/religiously-unaffiliated-nones-community_us_55afe508e4b0a9b948535f3a

Why Do the Nones Believe Like They Do?

“Today’s young nones, immersed in their online lives, may feel as though they are very connected. But as many are collectively realizing, online connections are weaker than advertised. We may have many [acquaintances] within digital reach, but numerous online relationships are no substitute for deep, real-life friendships. Similarly, a wave of spirituality apps promises to supercharge your mindfulness and positive thinking. Although beneficial, app spirituality, too, leads to a solitary practice.”

Asma, Stephen. “Religiously unaffiliated ‘none’ are pursuing spirituality, but not community.” L.A. Times. 6 June 2018.

http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-asma-nones-spirituality-20180607-story.html

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“As a pastor, as a researcher, as an educator, as just a Christian who cares, the single greatest contributor to the attrition rate [of the Christian faith] has been the breakdown of the family,” McFarland said in an interview with the Christian Post.

Blair, Leonardo. “Parent Failure to Transmit Faith to Kids Helping Fuel Growth of Religious ‘Nones,’ Study Suggests.” Christian Post. 20 Sept 2018.

https://www.christianpost.com/news/parent-failure-transmit-faith-kids-helping-fuel-growth-religious-nones-study-227489/

How Can the Nones Come to Know Christ?

An important new survey by Pew Research asks, “why people who were raised in religious homes but who now identify as religious “nones” — having no religious affiliation — decided to leave the faith of their childhood. The results were varied, but according to the survey, “Half of ‘nones’ left childhood faith over lack of belief, one-in-five cite dislike of organized religion.

So today, America needs another great awakening, one which will convert the unconverted, restore the backslidden, and set the complacent on fire. Whether they know it or not, the “nones” are crying out for this very thing.”

“God’s solution to the ‘Nones’ who have left the faith.”  The Stream. Accessed 21 Sept 2018.

https://stream.org/gods-solution-nones-left-faith

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Conclusion

So how can you know God? It all starts with accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Jesus Christ provides a relationship with the Father and eternal life through His death on the cross and resurrection (Romans 5:10)

Lord Jesus, I ask You to forgive my sins and save me from eternal separation from God. By faith, I accept Your work and death on the cross as sufficient payment for my sins. Thank You for providing the way for me to know You and to have a relationship with my heavenly Father. Through faith in You, I have eternal life. Thank You also for hearing my prayers and loving me unconditionally. Please give me the strength, wisdom, and determination to walk in the center of Your will. In Jesus’ name, [A]men.

“How do I accept Jesus as my savior.” In Touch. Accessed 21 Sept 2018.

 https://www.intouch.org/read/content/how-do-I-accept-Jesus-as-my-savior

While some people have no idea what is their purpose in life, some are convinced their life journey is to seek knowledge, to pursue status, to become wealthy, to promote tolerance, to reproduce or a host of other purposes.

The bottom-line is, what do we believe is the meaning of life?

As believers in Jesus Christ, we should believe that our purpose is to fulfill what God has appointed us to accomplish on this earth. When the spiritual dimension of life is void of the Trinity—God, the Father; Jesus, the Son; and the Holy Spirit, we become part of the none community. Let’s not let that happen!

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Bible Verses:

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” (John 14:6)

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. (John 10:10)

Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to believe in You. Help me to see You with new eyes. If You are real, let me know that. I’m tired of the life I am living. I want to know that beyond what I can see, there is a God that loves me and wants what is best for me. Help me to leave my proud behavior and unbelieving thoughts at Your feet. I want to know if You are real. Amen.

God Bless.

greenenpastures.org

Member of IWA-Inspirational Writers Alive!

Member of Biblegateway Bloggers #bgbg2

Edited by E. Johnson

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Please share, forward, retweet, and/or comment if you liked this article or find it might help someone you know. Thanks.

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Christian Caregiving: Behind the Scenes

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My newly released book, Christian Caregiving: Practical Advice for a Happy Ending, was published in May 2018. To me, this is exciting news! I am amazed at how God worked in putting this book together, so I want to share some background information about how this new release came about. So, humor me for a few moments!

Here Goes My Story

Once upon a time, not so long ago, my church* asked me to teach a class on caregiving. When I was first asked to teach this class my first thought was, “Why in the world would anybody ask someone to teach a caregiving class while they are in the midst of it?” However, after pondering and praying, I felt the Lord say, “Go Ahead!” I had no curriculum to follow. The class was put together by my own research, prayer, my living circumstance, the Holy Spirit and by my husband who was willing to stay with my mom (with whom we live), so I could go to the church to teach the class.

I taught the class not just once but twice.

Just as I don’t know how to express my gratefulness for this teaching opportunity, I don’t know how to express my gratitude for how this book came into being.

I had no intention of putting the highlights of the class into a book until way after I finished teaching the second class, but then again God impressed me with His words, “Go Ahead.” Each of the chapters overviews one of the six class lessons taught at my church.

At the same time as God’s “Go Ahead” words impressed me, I was asked to teach a couple of classes at Houston’s First Baptist Church at the Inspirational Writers Alive Conference in August 2018. One of the classes I am teaching is titled Traditional Publishing vs. Self-Publishing. This opportunity was another big catalyst for this book because if I were to teach on self-publishing I wanted to experiment with how publishing with Amazon was done so I could share it with the class. Thus, this book was created through Amazon. I published my other books differently.

As with all new ventures, there is a learning curve. I  learned how to purchase an ISBN (International Standard Book Number) on this publishing journey. In addition, I found out that companies can format books specifically for Amazon Print, Kindle, Smashwords and more.

I had an awesome editor. He’s the best. He tells me when what I write doesn’t make sense; he corrects my incomprehensible grammar, illogical expressions and unreasonable comparisons. Wow. I couldn’t do this without him. He lives in Michigan. (He’s probably reading this newsletter now, cringing and in tears!)

I was so excited to be able to use the photograph of a friend of mine on the front cover! The cover shows her with her mom in a facility while caregiving. [This is a good place to say that this wonderful person also designed the covers my other three books.]

But, with this cover, I just went with a pre-formatted cover using a photograph she sent me. I am so grateful to her. She lives in New York. And who else can put together someone from New York with someone from Texas! Can I mention that I have never met this lovely woman? That’s a God thing.

It is always scary to push the “SUBMIT” button on a book one has written, but I did. A week after this book was published, it was brought to my attention that I didn’t handle something correctly.  I was made aware of it and just in the nick of time, I was able to correct a serious problem. This issue cropped up because I totally ignored a major plagiarism rule that I knew and have taught to others for many years. It made for some tense days, but God worked it out perfectly by me being able to delete my book off Amazon and resubmit it with the needed adjustments.

On my first submission, I ordered 30 books which I assumed would come with the first submission’s printing, but miraculously when they arrived, they had the issues corrected. God even prepared me through my former career as a librarian. I didn’t realize I had to type up the publication page — the page after the title page — since I didn’t do it for my other books, but with Amazon, I had to. My librarian experience taught me how to prepare that page with ease. Now, that’s specific! And, God knew long ago that I was going to need to know how to figure out Library of Congress subject headings!

I say all that to say that what is available on Amazon is the “best copy” I could do!

And one more thing: discovering the identity of the front cover picture’s photographer came late, but it came just in time and I was able to get the release I felt comfortable with in using the lovely picture on the front cover.

My Final Remarks

God is good and when we obey Him, He makes things all work out. And, even when I faced those stressful days between copy 1 and copy 2, I felt very peaceful that He was working it out. I didn’t know how He would do it, but He did. I feel like it was like turning the water into wine. Just miraculous!

If you are in the caregiving phase of your life or you know someone who is, I recommend this book to you. My prayer is that it will be very beneficial to you, your loved ones, and your friends.

God is good and when we obey Him, He makes things all work out.
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Here Are Some Fun Facts To Know About This Caregiving Book!

The hardest part of putting this book together was the Endnotes and Bibliography.

My husband wrote the paragraph describing the book on the back cover. I didn’t put his name on “his” paragraph. Sounded too nepotistic for me. Ha.

My picture on the back cover is five years old. I am now in the process of trying to become a blonde. Yes, you heard me correctly! But, it’s not turning out too well.

The book is now available on Amazon.com for purchase both in print and e-book format. If you have Amazon Unlimited, the book is a free download. The book retails for $8.95 and the e-book version is $4.99. I think if you purchase a print book, you can get the e-book for 99 cents.

Thanks so much for reading my story. My readers are my lifeline and guide to my writing.

With so many adult children facing caregiving questions, this book may be the answer to most of their questions. I am asking you to share, forward and repost this article to your friends and family members.

God Bless,

greenenpastures.org

CHRISTIAN CAREGIVING: Practical Advice for a Happy Ending by Patti Greene

ISBN-13:                                978-0692115381—Christian Caregiving—Print/Softcover

ISBN-Kindle:                      0692115383—Christian Caregiving—Kindle

Quotes:

Patti Greene’s book, Christian Caregiving: Practical Advice for a Happy Ending, is an excellent resource. It addresses the key points in what you need to prepare for. Written from a Christian perspective, it gives prayers and Bible verses to provide comfort during this difficult time. If you have read any of the author’s other books, you know she has a heart for God through her many years of prayer and journaling that led to her books. This would be a great resource for churches, caregiving groups, and anyone that has aging parents.

—JT, St. Louis

Christian Caregiving is a clear and concise resource for those of us who want and desire to care for our elderly family with the love of Christ. I have found the basic suggestions and information to be invaluable. Many of us who find ourselves in this season of life sometimes are simply overwhelmed with the magnitude of life decisions that have to be made. Knowing that this book has simplified topics and clear directives on what caregivers should do, consider and execute, has made the process much less daunting. Reading this book and taking note of the suggestions that Ms. Greene has so carefully put together has helped ease my concerns during my family’s caregiving season.

—AR, Houston

Bible Verses:

Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established. (Proverbs 16:3)

I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever. (John 14:16)

Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. (Ephesians 6:2-3)

Prayer from Chapter 1 in Christian Caregiving: Practical Advice for a Happy Ending

Dear Lord,

Help me to be the best caregiver possible. Give me wisdom and a desire to honor You in how I serve. There are so many issues. You know my time and my schedule. Let me experience joy as I honor my loved ones. Let me seek knowledge. Let me be wise in my dealings with others. Let me be generous with my hugs and kisses. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Edited by E. Johnson

*Bear Creek Church, Katy, TX

#bgbg2, Bible Study, Christian Living, Doctrine, GreenePastures.org, How to Guides, Jesus Christ, Patti Greene, Sin, The Bible

Spiritual Warfare: The Battle Between Good and Evil – Part 3 of 4

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Spiritual Warfare—All struggles on the battlefields of life come with various degrees of force and intensity. They are fought for different reasons. Our spiritual battles come with unique purposes, although all are under the umbrella of capturing the souls of God’s children rendering us useless for Him. The devil does not show up in a bright red suit with pointy ears waving his pitchfork. He comes as an angel of light. The sooner we realize this deception, the better off we will be.

Testing, Trials, and Temptations

Most intense testing, trials, and temptations come:

  • Before a big spiritual assignment
  • After a big spiritual victory
  • To those already working for the Kingdom of God
  • When we are weak, discouraged, and tired
  • When ministry opportunities are not pursued or available
  • When we are frustrated, and more

The Bible addressed the trials we face in the following verses. As you read through these verses, bear in mind that we grow spiritually through our tests, trials, and temptations.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways (James 1:2–8).

Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good thing given, and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. In the exercise of His will, He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be a kind of first fruits among His creatures (James 1:12–18).

Understanding the Spiritual Battle

Deep spiritual warfare is an agonizing time! Our minds continually dwell on the sin Satan is working full-time to pull us into. We feel helpless at the time to avoid that tug in our hearts to stray, but we must. Understand that this struggle we experience is not just a natural battle, but a battle intended to disrupt our ministry, deceive us, and eliminate the promises God has given us throughout the entire Bible.

Just because Satan comes banging on our door, we are not defeated. Even when he messes with our mind—and he does—Jesus Christ is our refuge. At times, the spirit of evil can confuse our thoughts so powerfully creating: an inability to think clearly; a hopelessness when ungodly thoughts become obsessions; and/or a helplessness in overcoming our discontentment, gloominess, or sadness.

David was facing imminent danger when he wrote Psalm 57. He had been taken in by the Philistines when he fled from Saul. This psalm was written during this time of great uncertainty and trial, but he holds fast to God—exactly what we should do when Satan gets hold of our mind, soul, and/or spirit. David’s prayer pleads for relief from these kinds of tormentors BEFORE it leads to sin.

Be gracious to me, O God, for man has trampled upon me;
Fighting all day long he oppresses me.
My foes have trampled upon me all day long,
For they are many who fight proudly against me.
When I am afraid,
I will put my trust in You.
In God, whose word I praise,
In God I have put my trust;
I shall not be afraid.
What can man do to me?
All day long they distort my words;
All their thoughts are against me for evil.
They attack, they lurk,
They watch my steps,
As they have waited to take my life.
Because of wickedness, cast them forth,
In anger put down the peoples, O God! (Psalm 56:1–7)

On November 28, 1958, Charles Haddon Spurgeon—an English Particular Baptist preacher—preached a sermon titled “Satan’s Banquet.” In this sermon, he used the analogy of the four courses of a banquet to compare one’s temptation to sin to the miracle of Cana (John 2:1-12).

At the miracle of Cana, there was a wedding and Jesus’ mother was there along with Jesus. When the wine gave out, Jesus’ mother told the servants to do whatever Jesus said. Jesus told them to fill the water pots with water and they filled them to the brim. The headwaiter tasted the water that had become wine and he told the bridegroom that, “Every man serves the good wine first, and when men have drunk freely, then that which is poorer.”

Spurgeon’s analogy of wine to sin is:

1st Course of Sin—Good wine – Satan makes sin look good. Spurgeon describes the cup of Satan as, “But O how sweet it is! How it makes his blood tingle within him.” At this point, one may have no intention being enticed to sin, but he finally does.

2nd Course of Sin—Wine is not so sparkling – Satan has lured a person to sin and now the person has had enough of pleasure. A person succumbed to sin, but it isn’t that enticing to him anymore. The fun he once had has gone flat and dull.

3rd Course of Sin—Wine now comes in a black goblet – When he drinks the wine, he shrieks and says, “O God! That ever I must come to this!” The suffering is to come because of iniquity.

4th Course of Sin—Horrors from the last cup – A persons’ hope and dreams have vanished. His sin haunts him.1

It is critical to fight all spiritual attacks as soon as they appear. A spiritual attack unaddressed can oppress ones’ faith and future. Casual everyday prayers are not enough; we need to plead, cry, wail, knee, fast, or even lay prostrate before our Lord and beg Jesus Christ to sever all thoughts and desires from the devil to sin from our mind. As believers, demons cannot enter us, but they can disrupt our thinking, sway our beliefs, and make us doubt our sincerity to God.

We must fight against ungodly thoughts and behaviors with every fiber of our being. We must humble ourselves and pray and keep doing that until the urge or desires have left us. It may take months or years, but it is worth every ounce of fighting we must do to protect ourselves. We may have to desperately call out to the Lord to take our thoughts captive.

We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Spiritual warfare may show up differently in different people. Since God knitted us together in our mothers’ wombs, we are all different—different personalities, different weakness, different tugs. Some common ways Christians experience spiritual warfare are when we possess a revenge we can’t shake off, a jealousy we can’t quench, all types of sexual temptations, or any desire which fills our minds with a longing and yearning to sin.

Is it Spiritual Warfare or Sin?

It is important to remember that the temptation is not sinning. It is better to be struggling in warfare than to step over the line into sin—disobedience to our heavenly Father and Lord.

It is when we cross the line that consciences are seared, reputations are ruined, souls are damaged, relationship with God is negatively affected, and a walk with Him might be permanently marred. Crossing over from spiritual warfare into sin has consequences. These consequences might not rear their ugly heads right away, but somewhere, somehow sin will interfere or sidetrack us and lead us away from God’s imminent plan.

How to Overcome Spiritual Warfare

When we are in the pangs of spiritual warfare, it means we have not yet succumbed to the treachery of sin. There is still hope for sin to be averted.

Therefore, that is why the first sentence of SPIRITUAL WARFARE: An Introduction, Part 1 states,

It is better to be amid spiritual warfare than to succumb to sin. #spiritualwarfare #bgbg2 #www.GreenePastures.org
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We must actively be on the alert for Satan’s attempt to lead us to sin. Some tips for prevention are:

  • Ask God to take the object of our warfare away because it is not profitable for our soul;
  • Ask God to replace our thoughts with godly thoughts and ministries;
  • Keep busy and don’t allow boredom or idleness to abound during this period;
  • Ask for prayers from mature Christians. (We do not need to tell them our specific vice if we don’t want to, but just ask for prayers.) God knows what we are dealing with and He wants to help us through it, so when it is over, we can say, “Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” (James 1:12);
  • Watch the areas where you are the weakest and plead with God to keep us within the confines of our place and our calling.

If We Succumb to Sin, Does God Forgive Us?

Of course, He does. God is a forgiving God and when we repent of our sins and turn from our “wicked” ways, He is there for us—with open arms—ready to forgive us and lead us back into a full relationship with Him. But there still may be consequences and scars. As soon as we recognize our sins and turn back to God, He accepts us back into His fold to love, cherish, and forgive us.

In the February 2018 issue of Decision magazine, Billy Graham said, “Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful words in the human vocabulary.”²

God goes on to say,

. . .and if My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land (2 Chronicles 7:14).

But, what if you are the tempter—a Christian that Satan is using—to tempt another person? With your allurement, you may lead someone else to follow in your footsteps. After a while, you may move on and repent, but what you have led the other person to do cannot be undone! When you are the perpetrator leading others to sin, you have sent them directly into Satan’s grasp and you don’t know how long they might remain there.

While you might confess your “mistakes” and move on in your relationship with the Lord, you can’t make the other person turn to God or back to God. At this point, their spiritual life is completely out of your hands. They may go the rest of their life being led astray by Satan or become so obsessed with your mutual sin that they are numb to the things of God—all because of your sin and its enticement upon them. Only God can rescue them at this point, but they may not choose Him because of the hurt, deceit, fraud, or distress you inflicted upon them.

Anglican clergyman William Gurnall says, “Even after you’re dead and gone, your sins may be perpetuated in those who are alive, generation after generation.”³ Now, that is serious business!

Conclusion:

Do not try to stave off the onslaughts of Satan in your own strength. Tell God you are afraid of what may happen if He does not intercept these wicked imaginations . . . Seal the windows of [your] heart in prayer to control your thoughts, ask Christ to control your heart.” William Gurnall

Bible Verses:

Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it. (Psalm 34:14)

Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! (Isaiah 5:20)

When you go out to battle against your enemies and see horses and chariots and people more numerous than you, do not be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, who brought you up from the land of Egypt, is with you. (Deuteronomy 20:1)

Prayer:

Dear Lord, I love You, but lately, I have been tempted beyond control. I need You to help me face the severe trials I am going through. Let my faith be so strong that, in my weaknesses and temptations, I can avert any turning away from Your plan for my life. Use me Lord for Your service. I need Your power and love to pour down on me. I seek Your face daily and depend on Your Holy Scriptures to keep me strong and honorable. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

God Bless,

greenenpastures.org

Member Inspirational Writers Alive #IWA; Bible Gateway Blogger Grid Member #bgbg2

1Spurgeon, Charles Haddon. Spurgeon Sermons, vol. 5. Peabody: Hendrickson, 2013.

²Graham, Billy. Decision Magazine. Feb 2018. Print.

³Gurnall, William. The Christian in Complete Armour, Vol. 1. Carlisle: The Banner of Truth Trust, 1996.

Edited by E. Johnson

Bible verses are taken from the NASB if not noted otherwise.

SPIRITUAL WARFARE: An Introduction, Part 1

SPIRITUAL WARFARE: Satan, Jesus, and Trials, Part 2

SPIRITUAL WARFARE: The Battle Between Good and Evil, Part 3

SPIRITUAL WARFARE: The Armor of God, Part 4

COMING SOON:

SPIRITUAL WARFARE: The Armor of God, Part 4, Part 4 of 4

If you are hooked and you don’t want to miss out on the rest of this SPIRITUAL WARFARE series, click HERE to sign up for email notifications to receive news posts and monthly newsletters on this subject and more. To receive new post notification, you will receive an email to confirm your subscription.

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How Prayer and Bible Study Will Revolutionize Your Life

  1. Prayer and Bible study will revolutionize your personal life. The mixture of these two powerful disciplines can provide the comfort and security we all desire in our lives.

Prayer

In the charming children’s story The Relatives Came by Cynthia Rylant, a child’s extended clan gathered one afternoon to enjoy each other’s company amidst laughter, love, and family festivities. What better summer day could any child have, other than relishing the comfort and security of aunts, uncles, and cousins?

In 1962, while on a summer vacation in Connecticut, my relatives came from everywhere—California, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, and Vermont for a similar “kinfolk” reunion.

As an 8-year old child, dressed in my blue-flowered tunic and denim jeans, I stood in my aunt and uncle’s backyard mesmerized by the hustle and bustle of summer activities. The adults were running around, in and out of the house, preparing for the long-awaited summertime barbeque. My relatives were laughing, smiling, and just plain old happy to be together.

The picnic tables and card tables were covered with red and white checkered tablecloths; the tea was being poured; the aroma from the barbequed hot dogs and hamburgers permeated the backyard.

From my vantage point, I could see the bright blue sky surrounded by the tall New England trees. I remember vividly that my mind was centered on God. I wanted to see Him work that day. I wanted to test His power. Yes, right then and there—on that beautiful summer day.

I wanted to know if God was real. I wanted to know if He would listen to an 8-year-old little girl. I wanted to know if I could pray for rain even though no sign of rain was evident anywhere, knowing full and well that rain would ruin our family celebration.

I prayed for rain. And rain it did, just as Psalm 77:17 says, “the clouds poured out water . . . “

As we readied ourselves to eat, small droplets of rain slowly landed on my head. Before long, larger, heavier drops began streaming down from the sky.

My aunt made the final call as she waved us all into the house. “Hey kids and everyone, we are moving everything inside! Grab something and get inside immediately!”

Within a few short minutes, my enterprising prayer was answered!

Do I believe God answered my prayer? Yes, most definitely! I asked, and God answered. I am not saying He always answers so quickly or so affirmatively, but He did that day. Why? Because in the big scheme of my life, maybe God needed me to experience His “realness” and His “power.”

I never told my relatives that I was the cause of the rain that day, but God chose that incident to show me that He can not only move mountains, but He can also change the minute events in our lives through honest, sincere, childlike prayer.

We pray prayers like . . .

“God, give me strength and healing in my sickness.”

“Lord, I don’t understand why my son my son/daughter has turned against You.”

“I don’t know when to retire. I am seeking Your timing as I move into the next stage of my life.”

These prayers and others like this reach the throne of God day after day. God hears them all and

He is ready to answer them. But, we must do our part—and that is to pray and to seek out His wisdom and direction through becoming familiar with His Word—The Bible.

Bible Study

The Barna Group, a market research firm specializing in studying the religious beliefs and behavior of Americans, has carefully and strategically tracked the role of faith in America, developing one of the nation’s most comprehensive databases of spiritual indicators. They state that:

“Americans continue to own Bibles—but readership is not as ubiquitous as ownership. About one-third of Americans read the Bible at least once a week, and this proportion has remained fairly stable. Likewise, the two out of five American adults who read the Bible less than once a year or never has thus far proven to be a stable proportion. Unless something dramatically changes among Millennials, however, Barna researchers expect reading frequency in the general population to trend downward in coming years . . . “ ¹

Prayer and Bible reading are inseparable. The two go together. Prayer is us communicating with God. The Bible is God communicating with us.

The Bible “is living and active, sharper than a double-edged sword.” (Hebrews 4:12) www.GreenePastures.org
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Embracing the Word of God and expanding our Biblical knowledge is the key to learning the wonderful truths of our God.

I learned early in my Christian walk to value the Word of God.

Many prayers later — 14-years after praying for rain — I prayed again and made a “deal with God.”

As my second year of teaching wore on, however, my lofty hopes were rudely dashed, and I really just wanted to go home and be with my family in Houst0n. But, it had to be because God chose that path for me, rather than my own pain and frustration doing the selection for me.

I had previously resolved that I would read the Scriptures until God clearly showed me which way to go. Yet, I had already read the ENTIRE Bible under this mandate, and God still had not given me an answer!

In my early twenties I got a job teaching second grade in Aledo, Texas, a suburb of Fort Worth. I chose that location because the area offered promise for my life ahead, as I was just out of college, full of rosy dreams and great expectations.

As my second year of teaching wore on, however, my lofty hopes were rudely dashed, and I really just wanted to go home and be with my family in Houston … but it had to be because God chose that path for me, rather than my own pain and frustration doing the selection for me.

I had previously resolved that I would read the Scriptures until God clearly showed me which way to go. Yet, I had already read the ENTIRE Bible under this mandate, and God still had not given me an answer!

The choice was forced upon me one day by the school where I worked. I remember the date – April 1st. My principal knocked on my classroom door and handed me my contract for the next school year and declared, “I need this back by the end of the day today.”

I had to specify whether I would be returning to the school next year, and decide, one way or the other, in the next few hours.

The advantage of staying, of course, is that I had a guaranteed job for next year, without the hassle of having to move. But it would be at the expense of my family and me having to navigate my despair without their close support.

So, what do good teachers do? They give their class some busy work, pull out their Bible, and plead with God for an answer. That, at least, is what I did.

God’s answer came in the form of a Bible verse from Ecclesiastes 11:5, “Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things.”

I can’t really explain why that verse confirmed I should move to Houston other than His Holy Spirit revealed that I should move. As I have pondered that verse over the years, I believe that even though we don’t understand how bones are formed in the womb of a pregnant mother, I didn’t need to understand why I was led to move back home, but I was to obey His leading. In addition, God was gracious enough to confirm that this verse was especially for me by allowing the verse numbers to parallel my birth date—November 5.

Appreciatively, I turned in my unsigned contract that very day with unbelievable poise and confidence. I was at peace, because this long drawn out decision process was finally over, and God had finally “weighed in” with His choice.

God’s Word PLUS prayer gave me the confidence to follow His will. He will do the same for you However, some believers just don’t pray or read the Bible. Their reasons vary. They might say . . .

“Why pray and read the Bible when God is going to do whatever He wants to anyway?”

“Nothing will happen when I pray.”

“I don’t have the time or the discipline to pray or read the Bible.”

“I tried praying before and nothing happened.”

“The Bible isn’t relevant to me.”

There are many reasons why we should pray and read God’s Word. They are . . .

  • Prayer and Bible reading makes us become more like Jesus.
  • God will comfort us through prayer and His Word when we need it.
  • Prayer and reading the Bible teaches us how to model ourselves after Jesus.
  • We need to find, know, and understand God’s will for our life. Prayer and the words of God with the help of the Holy Spirit help us to discern His will.
  • Prayer and Bible study makes us aware of evil while helping us to recognize our own sin and how forgiveness is necessary.
  • Prayer and embracing God’s Word helps us to submit to God and resist Satan.
  • Prayer and Bible reading protects us from evil.

Concluding Assignment

I want you to think of prayer as the yolk of an egg. Then, I want you to think of Bible reading as that same egg’s white part.

You can make scrambled eggs with the yolks and whites separately, but they just don’t taste the same until they are mixed. That is the same with us. When we combine prayer and Bible study together, we will receive His comfort and security. And as a bonus, we receive the confidence that He knows the big picture for our lives.

Bible Verses:

In that day you will not question Me about anything. Truly, truly, I say to you, if you ask the Father for anything in My name, He will give it to you. (John 16:23)

Jesus said to them, “Is this not the reason you are mistaken, that you do not understand the Scriptures or the power of God? (Mark 12:24)

Therefore, though I have enough confidence in Christ to order you to do what is proper, (Philemon 1:8)

Prayer:

Dear Jesus, You are my confidence and comfort. Motivate me daily to pray and study my Bible. Lord, show me Your will through Your words and Your Holy Spirit. With arms open to You, I commit today to put You first in my life. Guide me, help me, and lead me to be the person You want me to be. I commit my ministries to You. May all I do glorify You. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

God Bless,

GreenePastures.org

Member Inspirational Writers Alive; Bible Gateway Blogger Grid Member #bgbg2

Edited by E. Johnson; Bible verses are taken from the NASB if not noted otherwise.

If you found this post helpful, please like/share it so others can get the benefit. Thanks. If you would like to receive email notifications of new posts or to receive monthly newsletters, please click here and scroll down on www.GreenePastures.org to subscribe.

Books by Patti Greene

To order, please click the links below.

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer by Patti Greene
Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer by Patti Greene
Anchor Me
Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer
Awaken Me
Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer

Bibliography

¹ Barna. https://www.barna.com/Accessed November 10, 2017.

*Outfit has been renamed to match the image.

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What Is A Hoarding Disorder?

One of my relatives is a hoarder, and a friend has two middle-aged sons also affected by this condition known as hoarding. Being someone who loves to research social issues, the topic piqued my interest enough for me to investigate hoarding disorders for myself.

Famous brothers Homer and Langley Collyer, well-known wealthy Manhattan residents, are recognized as hoarders. After the death of their parents in the 1920’s, the two men withdrew from the public. They split their time between the family’s Manhattan residence and their Harlem brownstones.

In 1947, a neighbor notified the police about an overpowering odor coming from their home. When the police arrived, they found Homer, who was blind and crippled, dead and surrounded by trash. David K. Israel, author of “7 Famous Hoarders” said, “His corpse was amid tons of junk, including an early X-ray machine, the jawbone of a horse and bundles upon bundles of old newspapers.”

After a full and lengthy search, Langley’s dead body was found in one of their brownstones, buried by newspapers. His death had occurred weeks before. Israel noted that Langley “had been dead for weeks and rats had eaten most of his body. It was ultimately determined that Homer died of starvation when Langley, who fed his crippled, blind brother, was crushed to death under . . . a bunch of junk.” ¹

History of Hoarding

The study of hoarding is a relatively new study. In the 1990s, many psychologists and neurologists assigned hoarding into the category of an obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) for lack of a better classification. However, owning many possessions makes a person with OCD feel anxious and unnerved while a hoarder finds extreme delight in finding bargains and purchasing a good deal. In 1993, psychology professor Randy Frost at Smith College attempted the first methodical study on hoarding. Now 24 years later, there has been an obsession with TV shows such as TLC’s Hoarding: Buried Alive and A&E’s Hoarders.

Hoarding is a brand-new disorder. In The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition: DSM-5 published in 2013, hoarding is now listed among other psychiatric diagnoses.

In the article “Why Do You Hoard?” by Bonnie Tsui states that most scientists believe hoarding has three defining characteristics:

  • the excessive acquisition of things that appear to be of little or no value
  • the inability to discard possessions; and
  • the disorganization of those possessions, which clutter up living spaces and make them impossible to use for their intended purposes.” ²

Hoarders

Hoarders often live alone and other people are frequently unaware of their hoarding. Other times hoarders are just considered “pack rats” by those who know them.

Hoarders may save newspapers, papers, plastic bags, pill bottles, shoes, food, mail, photographs, magazines, household supplies, flyers, bottle caps, beer bottles, clothing, or more. Some people even hoard animals.

Jill, a recovering hoarder whose last name was withheld, says about her hoarding:

“I just have too much stuff. I’m a “packrat.” There is stuff everywhere in plastic containers and in drawers. I have enough clothing to dress all the neighbor women for a couple of weeks each. This stuff is mine and I see a use for all of it. I just can’t bring myself to throw away any of it. I like it all! I really wish every space in my house wasn’t a collect-all.

We don’t even get to sit at the table as a family. My husband complains we hate to have unexpected family, we eat out because there is no space on the counter to cook, important papers get lost and we buy more stuff because so many things get misplaced. Everyone passes the blame on someone else. To top it all off, we live in a small ranch home with little closets. How will I ever overcome all of this hoard? I want to live like the normal tidy person—Stuff is ruining MY LIFE.” ³

Types of Hoarding

Many types of hoarding occur because of one’s background, education level, different personality, DNA, and other factors.

The “Address Our Mess” website discusses five main types of hoarding. ⁴

Shopper or Shopping Hoarder

This individual might shop daily. Many of the items purchased find themselves years later in the hallway or closet with the original price tags still on – unused. They might purchase clothing, collectibles, technology. They may feel incapable and experience severe anxiety if they pass up this “basement bargain.”

Food Hoarding

Some shoppers make runs to the grocery stores even when their refrigerators, freezers, and pantries are at full capacity. Throwing away outdated food seems wasteful and rarely occurs. Dealing with spoiled food, diseases, and unsanitary conditions may lead to severe illnesses and possibly death.

Garbage and Trash Hoarding

This type of hoarder is unable to discard their waste and trash. Some hoarders are known to go through other people’s garbage to see if they find valuable items. One might find trash hoarders storing garbage in their homes, garages, yards, or storage facilities.

Animal Hoarding

Many animal hoarders believe that they are helping animals by keeping them safe and loved in their living quarters or on their land. However, they fail to take into account that the lack of grooming, accumulation of waste, and non-existent exercise creates an unsatisfactory environment. Due to deplorable situations, animals are being starved and/or disease-ridden.

Paper Hoarding

Paper hoarders cannot throw away, shed, or discard anything on paper, i.e. bills, flyers, magazines, newspapers, forms, books. Stories abound of people who have been missing and later found injured or dead from being hidden under an extraordinary amount of paper products.

An excellent article written by the National Study Group on Compulsive Disorganization was reprinted in the Dec. 1, 2010, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette newspaper issue. The article was titled, “Levels of Hoarding: Some Guidelines for Recognizing the Problem.” The organization created a scale for professional organizers making their initial contact with their clients. Although the study took place in the early 1990s, it is still relevant and informative today. Click here to read the article:

http://www.post-gazette.com/local/north/2010/12/02/Levels-of-hoarding-some-guidelines-for-recognizing-the-problem/stories/201012020349

Causes of Hoarding

Genetics, anxiety disorders, lack of organization skills, loss, being raised in poverty, fear, psychotic tendencies, and even dementia are reasons why someone might hoard.

For many hoarders, it is incomprehensible to pass by a bargain. They love to shop or purchase items online which they don’t need. They feel they might need the item one day in the future. Hoarders pile things up around their home, office, or yard in an unorganized fashion. Afterwards, they become emotionally attached to these things to the point of being unable to part with them. A vicious cycle occurs with purchasing and saving items. Year after year, the hoarding becomes more harmful and unhealthy.

However, hoarders rarely realize the extent of their hoarding. While it may be obvious to an outsider, the hoarder’s mind may not see the devastation and destruction occurring due to their accumulating and stockpiling.

Carol Mathews of the University of California, San Francisco, and others have studied the cognitive patterns of hoarders. Mathews’ MRI studies try to simulate emotions relating to hoarding, i.e. how a hoarder sorts, categorizes and thinks about discarding items. ⁴

Signs and Symptoms of Hoarding

Hoarders may not recognize how much of a burden their possessions create on their physical, social, emotional, psychological, and spiritual life. Many signs and symptoms indicate potential or established hoarders struggle to pay bills because they keep repurchasing items or devices they have “misplaced.” A few hoarders even lose custody of their children when their environment creates a needless safety or health hazards for their family.

Hoarders may not recognize how much of a burden their possessions create in their life. www.GreenePastures.org
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Other indications of a hoarder may include having . . .

  • Limited or no livable space in their home.
  • An isolated and depressed life.
  • A regulated or non-existent social life.
  • Things replace human relationships.
  • Marital problems. (Many divorces occur due to the spouse’s inability to deal with the appalling living conditions.)
  • Children who will not invite their friends over to their home.
  • Financial problems.
  • An inability to organize their possessions.
  • An unfounded fear of running out of items, i.e. shampoo, boxes, food.
  • An inability to sell, give away, or part with their possessions. (This often creates an intolerable anxiety in hoarders.)
  • No power to keep their home functioning due to their clutter, i.e. not being able to reach a light fixture to replace a light bulb.
  • To live with broken household items in their home for fear of inviting repairmen into their extremely cluttered home.
  • An inability to bathe or reach their toilet.
  • An inability to cook due to broken equipment or being able to reach their stove, oven, or microwave.

Hoarding vs. Collecting

Hoarding and collecting are different entities. Both are characterized by acquiring possessions, but their purposes and intentions are different. Having a collection involves a sense of pride about what a person amasses in their acquisitions. Collectors usually display their items in an orderly fashion—on a shelf, in a curio cabinet, over the fireplace. A collector loves to talk to others about their collections.

On the other hand, a hoarder may be embarrassed by their “prized” possessions and they may be uncomfortable with others seeing their accumulation of “stuff.”

Recovery for Hoarders

Ample reasons abound regarding why hoarding should be addressed and why hoarders should be treated. However, the most important reason is that all the accumulation affects the health and safety of the individual and those around them. Hoarding can lead to hospitalizations, children being taken away from parents, fire, evictions, homelessness, and even death.

Help is available for hoarders. A clutter specialist, accountability partner, a 12-step program, and/or a physician is often needed to help with the remediation of this disorder. Understanding that recovery is a continual process is imperative. If someone came into a hoarder’s home and cleared out everything so the home was relatively clean and orderly, the home would quickly become ‘unlivable’ to the average person unless the emotional aspects of hoarding had been dealt with. To overcome a hoarding lifestyle, group involvement must occur. A hoarder needs to find a friend, family member, or support group to help with the initial stages of cleanup.

Many great articles are available on the Internet where support groups and help can be found. Talking to one’s family physician about the problem is an excellent starting point.

Christian Perspective on Hoarding

Just like any other difficulty we face in life, we need hope to overcome it. Making wise choices give us hope while addressing the problem and reaching an actual solution. Hoarding is difficult to treat. God is willing and waiting to help. Nevertheless, there must be a desire in the individual to want to do something about their hoarding problem. God and others will help hoarders free their attitudes regarding possessions and He will help in maintaining a clutter-free lifestyle. This is accomplished through God, therapy, friends, and PRAYER!

GotQuestions.org speaks to hope on its website. “No matter where a hoarder falls of the spectrum, there is hope. A hoarder needs to learn how to make healthy decisions that will lead to resisting the urge for more buying/acquiring, disposing of unneeded items, and putting things in a regular place . . . The underlying cause of hoarding is our human tendency to want things and our inability to discern what is truly valuable. For those with severe compulsive hoarding, anxiety or loss or genetics may prompt the behavior and limit a person’s ability to discern value and worth. But for all of us, Jesus is the most precious treasure we can possess, and His followers should value what He values. Trusting in Him means we no longer should rely on ourselves in a hopeless effort to meet our needs or satisfy our souls. Jesus declared, ‘I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.” (John 6:35)” ⁶

Conclusion:

Informational blogs like this one sometimes lack the compassion which should accompany them. My desire for believers is to have compassion for those unable to free themselves from anything they find themselves in bondage to—including hoarding. When held in bondage, we are unable to be a useful witness for the Lord to others. But, when we are released from that bondage, we open ourselves up to living a full and meaningful life. Let’s be compassionate and caring. At times in our lives, we might find ourselves in difficult situations. We don’t need judgment during those times. We need love, compassion, and help.

If you like this article, let me know, because the flip side to hoarding is when people possess an extreme and excessive need to PURGE themselves of their possessions. It’s a tough concept to comprehend, but it will make for an interesting blog topic someday! And just remember, we are all on the spectrum between the two extremes!

Where do you find yourself?

——–

Bible Verses:

Thought: We live in a word filled with idolatry. Our cars, our homes, our stock portfolios, and our vacations have become idols to us. It’s not rocket science to see how a person can become a hoarder. But believers should be set apart from idolatry no matter what form it takes. The Bible tells us not to love our money or possessions but to serve the Lord with our entire heart. The verses below will help us to see God’s perspective on storing possessions, greed, compassion, and how to overcome any problem we might be facing.

You shall have no other gods before Me. (Exodus 20:3)

There is a grievous evil which I have seen under the sun: riches being hoarded by their owner to his hurt. (Ecclesiastes 5:13

Why do you say, O Jacob, and assert, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the Lord, and the justice due me escapes the notice of my God.” (Isaiah 40:27)

Ah Lord God, Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm! Nothing is too difficult for You. (Jeremiah 32:17)

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; 21 for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:19-21)

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth. (Matthew 6:24)

Then He said to them, “Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.” (Luke 12:15)

Sell your possessions and give to charity; make yourselves money belts which do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near nor moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Luke 12:33-34)

You, in Your great compassion,
Did not forsake them in the wilderness;
The pillar of cloud did not leave them by day,
To guide them on their way,
Nor the pillar of fire by night, to light for them the way in which they were to go. (Nehemiah 9:19)

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king. (1 Peter 2:17)

Prayer:

My heavenly Father. Thank you for teaching me daily more about Your people. Help me in the areas I struggle with and give me compassion for those who are different from me. Give me Your wisdom and grace. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

God Bless,

GreenePastures.org

Member Inspirational Writers Alive; Bible Gateway Blogger Grid Member

Edited by E. Johnson; Bible verses are taken from the NASB if not noted otherwise.

If you found this post helpful, please like/share it so others can get the benefit. Thanks. If you would like to receive email notifications of new posts or to receive monthly newsletters, please click here and scroll down on www.GreenePastures.org to subscribe.

Books by Patti Greene

To order, please click the links below.

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer by Patti Greene
Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer by Patti Greene
Anchor Me
Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer
Awaken Me
Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer

Works Cited

¹ Israel, David. “7 Famous Hoarders.” Mental Floss, 22 Oct 2009. http://mentalfloss.com.

Accessed 11 Aug 2017.

² Tsui, Bonnie. “Why Do You Hoard?” Pacific Standard, 29 Apr 2013. https://psmag.com.

Accessed 10 Aug 2017.

³ “How to Recover from Hoarding—Getting Organized.” Living on a Dime. Livingonadime.com.

Accessed 10 Aug 2017.

⁴ Types of Hoarders. Address Our Mess. https://www.clutterhoardingcleanup.com/types-of-hoarding/

Accessed 17 Oct 2017.

⁵ Got Questions. “What Does the Bible Say about Compulsive Hoarding?” Accessed 10 Aug 2017.

⁶ “Types of Hoarding.” Address Our Mess. Clutterhoardingcleanup.com, 18 Sept 2013. Accessed

August 9, 2017.

#bgbg2, Caregiving, Death, Faith, God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit, God's Will, Life Issues, Medical, Parenting and Family, Salvation

Caregiving Part 5: Spirituality

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Caregiving. My husband and I moved in with my mother when my father passed away a year and a half ago. Mom is a fragile 91-year-old. Her health is not good, but her mind is phenomenal. Today I drove Mom and her friend to their church for a special service. We stayed afterward for the end-of-the-year Women’s Club luncheon. The women chatted, laughed, and enjoyed fellowship with their friends. You might ask why I chauffer my mother around like this; I do it because I love my mother and I want her to continue to enjoy the church she has attended for the past 50 years. It is there she fellowships with her friends and shares a spiritual connection with others and the Lord.

As a caregiver, our concerns usually center around our parents’ emotional, physical and social life. One aspect often lacking in caregiving is an interest in the elderly’s spiritual life. Whether you are a part-time caregiver or a full-time caregiver, giving yourself to the spiritual needs concerning your parents is truly a privilege.

For those who take their spirituality seriously, a sense of purpose and fulfillment undergirds their lives. Despite this fact, some do not understand or take seriously this component of another’s life. Understanding spirituality is complicated because there are so many scenarios and so many definitions of spirituality at play. They involve answering questions such as:

  • Are you a part-time caregiver or a full-time caregiver?
  • Are your parents living in the same town or city as you are?
  • Are you a strong believer, a ‘sort of’ religious person, or an uninterested individual?
  • Have your parents lived a dedicated life for Christ and the church? Have they attended church sporadically? Or, have they rarely explored any ‘religious’ life?

Once you mix and match all these different dynamics together, it’s time to discern and pray about your part in your parents’ spiritual life. Regardless of your parents’ spiritual background, caring for them is one of the most compassionate undertakings you or your siblings can pursue. Included in regular caregiving responsibilities, being a part of allowing your parents to pursue or continue their interests in God, church, and spiritual growth is an important part of caregiving.

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (1 Timothy 5:8)

Your Parents

Many seniors who have attended church all their lives develop a deeper desire for the things of God when they get older; but many do not. Some glide into old age making their spirituality more of an inward feat and not a community feat. In Spirituality and Aging, Sociology Professor Emeritus at Marquette University David O. Moberg says, “Many scientists who study spirituality and aging have concluded that spirituality increases with age. However, it is also important to acknowledge that other prominent researchers disagree with this premise.” ¹ Gerontologists are starting to see how the spiritual life regarding their patients yields an unexplainable peace and calmness as they face the future. As a result, their physical well-being is often affected in a positive way. They see their patients with faith as possessing strength and tranquility regarding their future.

Driving Forces Why Seniors Depend on God

  • Many seniors are concerned about their death and the afterlife.
  • Their faith provides strength as they face illnesses, loss of friends, and loneliness.
  • They have more time to pray and read their Bible.
  • Concern over a reduced income and the ability to meet their needs.
  • A renewed or deepening dependence and guidance by the Holy Spirit.

At a time when seniors tackle new challenges, many undergo losing their support systems. This should be a huge consideration in churches as “baby boomers” are starting to fit into the senior adult category.

Driving Forces Why Seniors Abandon their Faith and Church

  • Lack of activities for seniors—Feeling of alienation may occur when more emphasis is given to youth ministries, young adult ministries, or any ministries besides senior adult ministries.
  • Miss traditions—They feel left out, unwanted, unneeded in the congregation. Seniors enjoy the familiarity of things past, i.e. hymns, Sunday dinners, fellowship luncheons.
  • Difficulty adjusting to change—The new programs and facilities are too much for them. Adjusting to change is especially hard for the aging population.
  • Hearing loss—They can’t hear the preacher or Sunday school teacher.
  • Stimulating services (music, yelling, confusion)—The British Alzheimer’s Society discusses noise triggers by saying, “[People with Alzheimer’s] feel bewildered or anxious because there is too much noise, too many people around, or a change in a familiar routine.”
  • Other disabilities—There may not be handicapped parking or wheelchair accommodations at the church. They may be unable to get to church due to disability or inability to drive themselves. Or maybe, there is too much walking to get to their classes or sanctuary easily.

Caregiving and You

As a family caregiver member, it is imperative for you to be cognizant of your parents’ needs. This includes their spiritual needs.

Practical Ways You Can Help

  • If you live in the same town or city as your parents, bring them to church and church functions.
  • If you live out-of-town, contact their church organization, friends, or other family members to set up transportation.
  • If your parents are in a facility, investigate what kind of spiritual activities that are available.
  • Make their living environment familiar and comfortable, i.e. put their favorite cross in their room, be sure their Bible is easily accessible.
  • Provide notecards, stamps, and addresses so they can write and minister to their friends.
  • Get their hearing checked by an audiologist.
  • Get their eyesight checked by an optometrist or an ophthalmologist.
  • Purchase a large-print Bible for them if needed.
  • And, if you or family members live in the same city or town, be sure to visit them!

Whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 4:11)

Questions Caregivers Must Ask

  • What hindrances are my parents facing?
  • My parents used to attend church. Why don’t they go now?
  • How do I approach my unbelieving parents about Jesus Christ?

These are just a few of the many questions caregivers might have. You may want to spend some time thinking, meditating, and praying for what questions need to be asked and how you can be a part of the solution.

How to Pray: Ten Tips for a Better Prayer Life

Keep Yourself in Top Spiritual Shape

Being connected to God’s divine source can help you manage better as your caregiving duties progress. Continuing or starting to seek God’s presence and strength in your life will assist you as you care for and minister to your loved ones. Understanding you are not perfect alleviates a mindset of inadequacy. Remind yourself of all your parents have done for you. If they haven’t done much, it is time to ask God how He wants you to treat them and care for them regardless of the past. God is available to help you as you support your parents. By being their caregiver, you can be assured, God has given you a divine assignment—one that you won’t regret.

Salvation and Eternal Life

On our most recent visit to my mother’s oncologist, we were discussing mom’s diagnosis and future prognosis. In his matter-of-fact intonation, he said, “Mrs. —————, life is a terminal illness!” While we don’t want to think about life like this, it is true. We all will die and face an eternal future.

As we live our earthly life, let us be ever mindful about our eternal destination. Gaining an understanding of our future existence is significant in understanding life-and-death anxieties and angsts.

Both caregivers and parents and all humanity will die. CRU (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ) discusses four laws in the booklet “Have You Heard of the Four Spiritual Laws?” ²

Four Spiritual Laws

Law 1: God loves you and offers a wonderful plan for your life.

John 3:16

Law 2: Man is sinful and separated from God. Therefore, he cannot know and experience God’s love and plan for his life.

Romans 3:23

Law 3: Jesus Christ is God’s only provision for man’s sin. Through Him, you can know and experience God’s love and plan for your life.

John 14:6

Law 4: We must individually receive Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord; then we can know and experience God’s love and plan for our lives.

Revelation 3:20

A Heart-to-Heart Prayer

If you or your parents have not accepted Jesus Christ, now is the time to have a frank conversation with God. If you are unsure how to pray for God’s salvation, a simple well-meaning prayer can be the best decision for both of your lives.

Dear God, I know I’m a sinner, and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe Jesus Christ is Your Son. I believe that He died for my sin and that you raised Him to life. I want to trust Him as my Savior and follow Him as Lord, from this day forward. Guide my life and help me to do your will. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.” ³

If you have accepted Jesus Christ but your parents haven’t, now is the time to have a candid heart-to-heart with them.

Eight days before my father passed away, I had a candid heart-to-heart with him. He prayed a prayer akin to the prayer written above. As we sat on his couch at 5 am we quietly talked together and talked to God. Some may call this a deathbed conversion. No matter what it is called, my father accepted Jesus Christ and God used me to help him make the best decision of his life.

Caretaking means being responsible for various aspects of your parents’ life. As we face our parents’ sundown years, let’s do what we can to help them hold on to, delight in, and agree to take part in their spiritual life while at the same time progressing and preserving our own spiritual life.

Do You Fear Death?

Bible Verses: See above.

Prayer:

Dear heavenly Father, as I consider all the needs of my parents, let me be mindful of their whole being. I pray for their emotional, physical, social, and spiritual life. Make me aware of their needs. Let me offer my help. Give us both peace. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

God Bless,

Member Inspirational Writers Alive; Bible Gateway Blogger Grid Member

Edited by E. Johnson; Bible verses are taken from the NASB if not noted otherwise.

Works Cited/Bibliography

¹ Spirituality and Aging. http://www.nap411.com. Accessed 10 May 2017.

² Greene, Patti. Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer. Bloomington: WestBow, 2016. [Permission given from CRU for Have You Heard of the Four Spiritual Laws summary.]

³ Begin Your Journey to Peace. www.peacewithgod.net. Accessed 10 May 2017.

Coming Soon: Caregiving Part 6: How to Prepare, Embrace, and Survive the Final Moments

If you found this post helpful, please like/share it so others can get the benefit. Thanks. If you would like to receive email notifications of new posts or to receive monthly newsletters, please click here and scroll down on www.GreenePastures.org to subscribe.

Books by Patti Greene

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

#bgbg2, Christian Living, Life Issues, Medical

How to Handle Stress: God’s Way

Trouble and Stress. We all experience them from time to time. Some of us experience them more deeply than others; some experience them only when certain triggers rear their ugly heads. But, whenever and however trouble and stress occurs, it is not pleasant. We might overeat or not eat at all. It may cause us to erupt at someone we love or shout at our boss. We may desire to close ourselves up in a dark room and sleep all day and night. We might over-medicate or under-medicate ourselves. We might consider suicide or we might get professional help.

The fact is that we all react differently. But, let’s look at how stress (from our troubles) affects our body, mood, behavior, and spiritual life.

The fact is that we all react differently to stress.
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The Mayo Clinic states many ways stress affects us.¹

The Most Common Effect of Stress on Your Body are:

  • Headaches
  • Muscle tension or pain
  • Chest pain
  • Fatigue
  • Change in sex drive
  • Stomach upsets
  • I Sleep problems

The Most Common Effects of Stress on Your Mood are:

  • Anxiety
  • Restlessness
  • Lack of motivation or focus
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Irritability or anger
  • Sadness or depression

The Most Common Effects of Stress on Your Behavior are:

  • Overeating or undereating
  • Angry outbursts
  • Drug or alcohol abuse
  • Tobacco use
  • Social withdrawal
  • Exercising less often

Stress comes about when we feel overloaded or the pressure to continue at our current pace seems overwhelming. The modern life we live creates stress. We experience information overload from too many responsibilities, too much technology, too much television, and too many bad experiences.

Recently one of my friends lost her daughter who was found dead in her apartment. She told me the incident left her numb, unable to sleep, experiencing unbelief. But, along with the shock, she was automatically thrown into planning a funeral service and all that it entails. Stress was building upon stress.

Unfortunately, life happens, and we are left to pick up the pieces and move on.

How to Handle Stress

In 10 Tips to Manage Your Stress, WebMD suggests the following tips:²

  • Exercise
  • Relax your muscles
  • Deep breathing
  • Eat well
  • Slow down
  • Take a break
  • Make time for hobbies
  • Talk about your problems
  • Go easy on yourself
  • Eliminate your triggers

These are great ideas if you can follow them, but what about the spiritual side of dealing with stress?

Stress not only affects our physical, emotional, and mental health; it also affects our spiritual health. It’s easy for some to say we lack trust in God when we experience stress or anxiety. But, that is not necessarily the case. It could be that we are tired, sick, or not able to balance our work/home life adequately. Our circumstances may be in disarray and no solution seems feasible.

As believers in God, we need to remind ourselves that God is a go-to remedy to help with our stress. As Christians we are not immune to marital stress, family stress, personal stress, health stress, job stress, technology stress, or just “living in the world” stress. In addition to the medical advice above, let’s not forget that our faith can be the anchor that holds everything together during the tough and stressful times we encounter. We must lean on the strong arms of Jesus to get us through.

Biblical Suggestions to Help in Troubled Times

  • Pray, meditate, and interact with God every day;
  • Call out for the Holy Spirit to help you;
  • Read the Bible seeking out verses to calm your fears and anxieties;
  • Follow Biblical guidelines by trusting in God’s Word (even if you don’t feel like it);
  • Express gratitude to God for the things He has already done for you;
  • Keep surrounding yourself with the body of believers through church and fellowship;
  • Listen to Christian music, and
  • If you haven’t trusted Jesus Christ yet, confess your sins, and put your faith in Jesus, and accept him to be your Lord and Savior.

This week I took an online test on Facebook titled, “What Song Will Be Played at Your Funeral?”⁴ I was truly humbled (or should I say humiliated) when the site suggested My Way, written by Paul Anka and popularized by Frank Sinatra, as my funeral dirge. The theme of the song My Way is, “I did it my way.”

My Way (Frank Sinatra’s version)³

And now the end is near
So I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case of which I’m certain

I’ve lived a life that’s full
I’ve traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exception

I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
Oh, and more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fails, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh, no, no not me
I did it my way

For what is a man, what has he got
If not himself, then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words he would reveal
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

While I really don’t take stock in online tests, I wasn’t particularly pleased this was my chosen funeral song. I don’t want to do everything my way. As I go through life, I want God’s way as I face stresses, challenges, and hard circumstances.

I visited this week the cemetery where my grandparents are laid to rest. I glanced over to the left of my grandfather’s grave and noticed a marker that proclaimed , “I DID IT MY WAY.”

As we encounter stress in our lives, through our body, mood, behavior, and spirit, my prayer is that we will face life “God’s way”— never forgetting the spiritual component of getting well. If we don’t, someone might put, “THEY DID IT THEIR WAY” as our epitaph!

God Bless,

Patti Greene, Member Inspirational Writers Alive

Edited by E. Johnson; Bible verses taken from the NASB.

Bible Verses:

Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken. (Psalm 55:22)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Before I was afflicted I went astray,
But now I keep Your word.
You are good and do good;
Teach me Your statutes. (Psalm 119: 67-68)

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed. (2 Corinthians 9:8)

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard  your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

Prayer:

Lord, I am stressed. I snap at people. I get so easily frustrated. I react too quickly. My burdens are too much for me. I see the signs of stress affecting me. I need You to show me the way I should walk and how to relieve my stress and anxiety Your way. Thank you. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

¹ “Stress Symptoms: Effects on Your Body and Behavior.” Mayo Clinic. Web. 18 March 2017.

www.mayoclinic.org.

² “10 Tips to Manage Your Stress.” WebMd. Web. 18 March 2017. www.webmd.com.

³ “Lyrics, Sinatra. “My Way.” Warner Chappell Music. Sinatra Lyrics. Web. 18 March 2017.

www.bing.com. [Fair Use for Instruction]

⁴ “What Song Will Be Played at Your Funeral.” What Character Are You? Web. 18 March 2017.

http://en.what-character-are-you.com.

#bgbg2, Life Issues, Most Recent Post, People in the Bible, Testimonies

God, I Fell into My Kitchen Sink: My Story

God, I Fell into My Kichen Sink by Patti Greene, Greene Pastures by Patti

There is a big difference between doing crazy things ourselves and Biblical prophets doing crazy things. The former is just a part of life we live as human beings. Sometimes our antics make us laugh. Sometimes we get in trouble. But, the latter is usually to convey God’s message to human beings.

My Story

I had never fallen into my kitchen sink. And, I wasn’t planning to fall in today, but it happened! All the training I have had in this life did not prepare me for this moment.

I just finished cleaning my house in preparation for a party I was having over the weekend. That was the only thing on my agenda today. The house was dusted; the floors mopped; the carpets vacuumed; the tables set up; and the cute decorative plates and cups from the Dollar Store were placed around the centerpieces in an orderly fashion. While it is a totally different situation, I felt like Jael in the Old Testament when she said, “Out of the window [I] looked and lamented,” (Judg. 5:28). My house was looking extremely good, but then I spotted pesky water marks and food splotches behind the open blinds above my kitchen sink, and I lamented!

I had no intention of cleaning my windows the professional way, with a squeegee and dry cleaning cloths. I just grabbed my window cleaner and some paper towels and I was ready to do the quickest clean-up job possible.

Being my age, I already knew that I was not capable of using my arms to help me jump up on the kitchen counter, as I had been able to do in the past.

I had already placed all my chairs around the tables that the guests were going to use and I didn’t want to disturb my décor, so I made the decision to stand at the counter with my front facing the opposite counter; I pushed my feet on the counter, and somehow scrunched myself up onto the kitchen counter. It wasn’t easy!

From there, I sat on the counter and started my window washing feat. I have a divided sink—a 70-30 split double sink. I sprayed the windows above the smaller sink and did the minimum required so no one at my party would think I am a bad housekeeper.

The dilemma came next. Should I jump down off the counter and do the same process of getting back up on the counter so I could clean the other side of the window? That seemed like a lot of work, so I decided to just squiggle my back end across the front part of the sink with my legs hanging down to get to the other side.

It worked great past the smaller sink, but as I tried to pass the larger sink, I plopped right into the second [and larger] sink. My back end knocked down my water-filled college coffee cup; pushed back the faucet; and I landed right onto a drenched soak-filled kitchen dishcloth.

As I sat in the sink with my legs dangling over the sink, I had three thoughts.

  • I wasn’t planning on falling into my kitchen sink today;
  • My granddaughter takes her baths in a kitchen sink; and
  • How hard is it going to be to get myself out of the sink?

I wasn’t alone. My friend was sitting outside on my back porch. Honestly, I didn’t want to call out for her and then have her come in and see me plopped in the kitchen sink like a real weirdo. So, I sat in the sink for a while and finally figured out how I could get out. Did I mention these sinks are the deep kind—the kind you pay more for to have them installed? I did get out of the sink by wiggling around and pushing up and down on the counter. It was not a pretty picture. Finally, I jumped and landed on the kitchen floor feet-first with my pants soaking wet. I momentarily felt my back hurt when I hit the ground.

After the ordeal was over, I stumbled outside and told my friend what happened. At first, she seemed concerned, but as I told her the story, we just could not stop laughing. She then asked me for a reenactment, so I graciously accommodated her as I followed the exact steps over again. All the while she snapped photos.

The Moral

So, what’s the moral of this story?

  1. We all do crazy things sometime. (I fell into my kitchen sink.)
  2. Bad decisions and risky behaviors usually result in consequences. (I was soaked.)
  3. Doing crazy things can be dangerous. (I could have fallen off the counter and really hurt myself.)
  4. Thank God for friends who love you even though you do crazy things. (Friends are valuable.)
  5. Vow not to do them again. (I made the decision to be more careful in the future—after my reenactment.)
  6. See the humor in your actions and laugh if you can. (I laughed about my crazy feat.)

Conveying God’s Message

We all have done crazy things, whether it was making a prank phone call as a child or a misguided judgment call as an adult. But, do we ever think of people in the Bible doing things that appear crazy to others? They did.

We can convey God’s message through our everyday living!
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  1. Ezekiel took a brick and started drawing artwork on it and playing with it (See Ezek. 4).

“Now you son of man, get yourself a brick, place it before you and inscribe a city on it, Jerusalem. Then lay siege against it, build a siege wall, raise up a ramp, pitch camps and place battering rams against it all around. Then get yourself an iron plate and set it up as an iron wall between you and the city, and set your face toward it so that it is under siege, and besiege it.”

It sounds like Ezekiel was playing with plastic construction toys that children use for play, but he was really drawing and playing as a prediction of the upcoming siege of Jerusalem.

But, it looked crazy to others.

  1. Daniel chose not to eat the king’s food (See Dan. 1-2).

“But Daniel made up his mind that he would not defile himself with the king’s choice food or with the wine which he drank; so, he sought permission from the commander of the officials that he might not defile himself.”

It sounds crazy to give up the delicious food offered by the king, but Daniel told the overseer to test Hananiah, Mishael, Azariah, and himself for ten days and give them only vegetables to eat and water to drink. They turned out to be more intelligent and healthy than the others who ate the king’s food. God’s purpose was to prove their wisdom to King Nebuchadnezzar. Later the king would call on Daniel (and his friends) to discern a dream. Being available in this way prevented them from being destroyed with the rest of the “wise” men of Babylon.

  1. Hosea named his second and third child crazy names: No Mercy, and Not-My-People (See Hosea 1).
[His wife] conceived again and bore a daughter. And the Lord said to him, “Call her name No Mercy, for I will no more have mercy on the house of Israel, to forgive them at all. But I will have mercy on the house of Judah, and I will save them by the Lord their God. I will not save them by bow or by sword or by war or by horses or by horsemen.”

“When she had weaned No Mercy, she conceived and bore a son. And the Lord said, “Call his name Not My People, for you are not my people, and I am not your God.”

Hosea’s crazy names were not for himself, but to show God would have no more mercy on Israel and that they were not His people and He was not their God anymore.

Using Your Antics for God

The difference between our crazy things and some of the crazy things the people above did was that they did their crazy things to convey God’s message to the people.

But, how about this? Use some of your crazy things to convey a message from God. Put them in a blog; share them with your friends; become a humorous story teller; then add a twist of the Bible to your stories. That is what I tried to do here and it is just plain old fun! Use whatever God allows in your life to be for His glory.

When we allow God to take all our life and all the things that happen to us, He can use and change us. God did change me today. I learned something about danger, irresponsibility, and consequences. I was fortunate that I landed feet-first when I leaped out of the sink. But I still had a consequence—luckily, the only consequence I had was to change my soaking wet pants!

To read another “Crazy Patti” story, click here to read about how I almost sank in a drainage ditch. (Title: Consequences)

Bible Verses:

[There is] a time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance (Eccles. 3:4).

[Paul} said with a loud voice, “Stand upright on your feet.” And he leaped up and began to walk. (Acts 14:10).

For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality (Col. 3:25).

Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy (1 Tim. 6:17).

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for all You put into my path. Let me enjoy life. Let me laugh and have good, clean fun. Let me use all the situations You put in my life to be a means to share the joy of my salvation. I love You Lord. Thanks for the fun and crazy experiences You allow me to have. Keep me from sin and temptation and give me wisdom to make wise decisions. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

God Bless,

PATTIGREENE.eps-(1

Patti Greene, Member Inspirational Writers Alive

Edited by E. Johnson; Bible verses taken from the NASB.

If you liked this article and would like to receive email notifications of new posts or to receive monthly newsletters, please click here and scroll down on www.GreenePastures.org to subscribe. It is an easy way not to miss any posts in your feed! Moreover, I would love seeing you as part of the Greene Pastures Community.

Books by Patti Greene

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

A 90-day devotional prayer journal for all ages; This informative and how-to book on prayer is for seekers, new believers, and mature believers. It encourages a commitment and devotion to the art of prayer. Learn how God reveals himself through Bible study and prayer. ISBN: 978-1512760453 (Paperback) $11.95 on Amazon.

Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

A 365-day devotional prayer journal for in-depth Bible study; Fun words or phrases from the Old and New Testaments! Perfect for mature believers. ISBN: 978-1490893181 (Paperback) $27.95 on Amazon.

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

A 181-day devotional prayer journal for growing individuals; The Bible and social issues. Perfect for new believers. Comes with a group study guide. ISBN: 978-1490893174 (Paperback) $19.95 on Amazon.

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Do Actions Speak Louder Than Words?

Do Actions Speak Louder Than Words?

by Patti Greene, Greene Pastures by Patti

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Have you ever tried to share your Christian beliefs with someone, and feel you couldn’t get through to them—no matter what you say? They adamantly refuse to hear anything about God or religion. Their callousness might be foreign to you, and even scare you to the point of being fearful of ever talking to them again.

It happens all the time. We may be genuinely interested in a person’s spiritual well-being, and it breaks our heart when we are ignored, criticized, or made fun of for our beliefs just because we try to talk to them about God.

Many reasons abound as to why some people do not have an interest in hearing about God. Maybe it is because they don’t see us living out the Christian life. Maybe it is because they have encountered negative experiences within the church or with Christians. Or, maybe, it is because they have made a conscious decision to avoid all conversations about God or the Bible.

Many times, our mere words cannot express our feelings, thoughts, and beliefs as well as our actions can. If you find your talking gets you nowhere, God may be leading you to switch over to using actions instead of words to show your love to others.

God Uses Our Actions

God used Ezekiel in a “different way” to fulfill his calling in the beginning of his ministry.

In the first half of the Old Testament Book of Ezekiel, we see Ezekiel using actions solely (instead of words) to convey God’s message to the people. The Israelite exiles in Babylon became so desensitized and hard-hearted they would not listen to the word of God being proclaimed by the true prophets. So God commanded Ezekiel to take a different approach—an action approach.

God was so serious about using Ezekiel’s actions to communicate His words that He shut Ezekiel’s mouth for a period of seven years, allowing Ezekiel to speak only when and what he was commanded.

Instead of talking, Ezekiel was called to use what author Warren Wiersbe calls “action sermons”. The people had been warned verbally about their sinful behavior over and over to no avail. But now it was time for actions to take over. Many times, our actions can be what causes people to listen to us.

In Ezekiel 4, God commanded Ezekiel to: write on brick, put up an iron wall, prepare food, and to lay on both his left and right side to show what He wanted to get across to the exiles who had become isolated and distant from God.

Ezekiel sketched a map of Jerusalem on a brick and began playing soldier with the brick to show the House of Israel that the city of Jerusalem would be seized by the Babylonian army. He was then commanded by God to lie on the ground on his left side facing his brick for 390 days and then 40 days on his right side. Many commentaries use these mathematical calculations to show the years of Israel’s past sins and the years that Israel spent in the wilderness with Moses.

This kind of symbolism continues as Ezekiel continues acting out the horror and devastation of what was to come to Jerusalem. Later, the Lord asked Ezekiel to mix 3 different grains and 2 vegetables together to make bread. Scarcity of food was upcoming and Ezekiel was called to caution the people what was to come upon Jerusalem. The people had been warned of their heresy and separation from God with words before, but now God has chosen Ezekiel to use symbols and actions to show His disgust with their disobedience.

Now you son of man, get yourself a brick, place it before you and inscribe a city on it, Jerusalem. Then lay siege against it, build a siege wall, raise up a ramp, pitch camps and place battering rams against it all around. Then get yourself an iron plate and set it up as an iron wall between you and the city, and set your face toward it so that it is under siege, and besiege it. This is a sign to the house of Israel. “As for you, lie down on your left side and lay the iniquity of the house of Israel on it; you shall bear their iniquity for the number of days that you lie on it. For I have assigned you a number of days corresponding to the years of their iniquity, three hundred and ninety days; thus you shall bear the iniquity of the house of Israel. When you have completed these, you shall lie down a second time, but on your right side and bear the iniquity of the house of Judah; I have assigned it to you for forty days, a day for each year. Then you shall set your face toward the siege of Jerusalem with your arm bared and prophesy against it. Now behold, I will put ropes on you so that you cannot turn from one side to the other until you have completed the days of your siege. “But as for you, take wheat, barley, beans, lentils, millet and spelt, put them in one vessel and make them into bread for yourself; you shall eat it according to the number of the days that you lie on your side, three hundred and ninety days (Ezekiel 4:1-9).

Have you ever thought maybe we have talked too much—sometimes until we are blue in our collective face—trying to get God’s message into the hearts of our friends, family or acquaintances?

Maybe it is time to try “action sermons!”

Through our actions sermons, people may see something different in us that will lead to a discussion on our faith. We may even be privileged to share in the joy of their salvation.

While God uses our actions, He is also quite capable and willing to use our speech and words to convey His intended will and plans.

Let us not forget that God can use us in many ways—both verbally and through our actions.
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God Uses Our Words

But, God also uses words. Later on in the Book of Ezekiel, God opened Ezekiel’s mouth so he could be a verbal witness in declaring the future prophecies of Jerusalem.

While God may not call us to do weird and strange “action” things like he called Ezekiel to do when he prophesized the unfortunate events awaiting Jerusalem, He may call us to show God’s love to others through a kind word, a meal, a note, or a smile. So I am not saying we should never use words to minister.

Writer Will Maule says it best in his recent article titled “22 Things Christians Need to Stop Doing…Now!”

He states, “It’s just as important to represent Jesus by how we live, but someone can’t respond to the Good News without hearing it . . . and they can’t hear it if no one opens their mouths (Matt 10:27, Romans 10:14-15).” ¹

In my life, I have come to believe that unless what we say agrees with what we do, what we say is meaningless to most people.

God Uses Our Actions and Words

In an ongoing survey, people were asked if people were known by their actions or their words. The result was that 57% believe people are known by their actions and 43% believe that actions do not speak louder than words. ²

This discrepancy leans more to the belief that actions speak louder than words. The Bible is full of verses that discuss the importance of our actions. For example:

But these verses do not overpower the fact that God also uses our speech to minister, guide, encourage, and love others. Without the powerful words of Old Testament prophets, the people would not know God’s laws and His plans. Without the convicting words from the New Testament apostles, people would not know the plan of salvation and sanctification.

Be Obedient

Be open this week to His will in all you DO and SAY. Don’t be afraid to step out and do something “different” if you feel God impressing you to do so. If your motives are right, and it ends up not what God had in mind, He will fix it and make it right. Sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zone to grow, mature, and be obedient, whether in our words or actions. Being obedient to whatever God impresses upon us to do is the key. Both words and actions are important!

Being obedient to whatever God impresses you to do is the key. Both words and actions are important!
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God Bless,

PATTIGREENE.eps-(1

Patti Greene, Member Inspirational Writers Alive

Bible Verses:

Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:3

Jesus answered them, “I told you, and you do not believe; the works that I do in My Father’s name, these testify of Me. John 10:25

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

Prayer:

Dear Lord, thank you for the opportunities You give me to share my life with others. Give me wisdom and understanding regarding the best way to approach people with Your truths. You are a God I can trust to lead me in the paths of righteousness. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

¹ Maule, Will. “22 Things Christians Need to Stop Doing…Now!” Hello Christian. http://hellochristian.com. Accessed 17 Feb 2017.

² “Do actions speak louder than words?” The Premier Online Debate Website. Debate.org. N.p., 21 Feb. 2017. Web. 21 Feb. 2017 <http://www.debate.org/>.

Edited by E. Johnson; Image Permission from J. Morisho 2-18-2017. Bible Verses from NASB.

If you liked this article and would like to receive email notifications of new posts or to receive monthly newsletters, please click here and scroll down on www.GreenePastures.org to subscribe. It is an easy way not to miss any posts in your feed! Moreover, I would love seeing you as part of the Greene Pastures Community.

Books by Patti Greene

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

A 90-day devotional prayer journal for all ages; This informative and how-to book on prayer is for seekers, new believers, and mature believers. It encourages a commitment and devotion to the art of prayer. Learn how God reveals himself through Bible study and prayer. ISBN: 978-1512760453 (Paperback) $11.95 on Amazon.

Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

A 365-day devotional prayer journal for in-depth Bible study; Fun words or phrases from the Old and New Testaments! Perfect for mature believers. ISBN: 978-1490893181 (Paperback) $27.95 on Amazon.

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

A 181-day devotional prayer journal for growing individuals; The Bible and social issues. Perfect for new believers. Comes with a group study guide. ISBN: 978-1490893174 (Paperback) $19.95 on Amazon.

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