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Two Years Ago Today, Mom Went to Heaven!

Initial Remarks

Today marks two years since my dear mom passed away—August 27, 2020. I wrote the following letter four months after my mom died, recollecting the time my husband John and I spent living with her for four years in her home. I mailed this note to a few very close friends at the time, but today, I feel like posting this in her honor and sharing that I am still sad about a lot of things, but I know moving on would be what she would want for me.

Dear Friends

First, I want to thank all of you who have prayed for John and me over the past few years. We were in a unique season of life—a life we never expected to be in. It was challenging and rewarding at the same time.

Most of you know that in January 2016, I moved into my parent’s home when my dad was ill with leukemia and dementia. John was working overseas at the time. Dad died in February 2016.

Being concerned about mom, I stayed with her after Dad’s passing. The idea of her alone in the house made me want to stay with her. Unfortunately, 2016 brought a diagnosis of Stage 4 lung cancer to mom on top of all her other ailments, so I continued to stay at mom’s house. John came home from his overseas assignment shortly after mom’s diagnosis and moved into mom’s house with me.

We locked up our house, and our life became different—more different than we ever expected. John retired after completing his overseas assignment but found a little part-time work, and life moved on. We settled into our life with mom in west Houston, trying to adjust to not being in our own home. I did fine for the first two years. But, the last two years were physically and emotionally tough on me. As mom progressively needed more care and attention, I became more nervous and anxious. I was not my usual self. I had a hard time coping, although I was able to conceal it from others for the most part.

John saw and experienced my constant exhaustion, my need for respite, and my emotional stress worsening daily. He was my rock. I cannot imagine any other person being so kind and generous as giving up his home and life to partner with me in caretaking my mother – his mother-in-law. John occupied my mom with mind-boggling conversations and debates. He made dinner most days, and towards the end, his help and love truly inspired me as he provided nursing duties way beyond his pay grade. Christ-like love was indeed in action!

God knew my fragile mental state. And I hate to say it, but COVID was the lifeline I needed to be able to move back home. It had become apparent that I was not doing well with our 24/7 living arrangement at mom’s house. When COVID hit: Mom’s housekeeper was able to move in with her even though we were back towards the end of mom’s life. John, me, and mom all sleeping in the same bedroom, available for whatever.

Even being home was highly stressful, with daily visits to mom’s house, more doctor’s appointments than ever, and issues relating to mom’s declining health.

If you have not guessed by now, two thousand twenty has been the roughest ride of my life!

I am omitting many “specifics” so I do not get bogged down and miss the point I am trying to share with you.

The fact is, a good friend said, “God has positioned people who can take our hands and help us find our way through the fog and storms.” You are those people!!! Your prayers helped me to pray and not lose my heart. Your prayers helped me to pursue seeking the Highest God, your prayers helped me to stay strong in the Word of God, and your prayers reminded me that challenges are for our spiritual growth. This journey was not anything I had ever imagined, but God knew I had to go through it. This season was sent to accomplish things in me that could not have been accomplished any other way.

Some of you have been where I was. Some of you have not. However, I want you to know that when we experience tears and disappointment, it does not have to dimmish our relationship with the Lord. He allows each new experience to make us aware that we need to trust Him so solidly that we can tell Him the down and dirty of all we think and encounter. When I had questions, God was there. When I cried, He was there. When I could not handle it anymore, God was still there. Even though there were times I could not feel His presence, you kept me hanging on to Him. That was possible due to your prayers. Thank you!

Mom died on August 27, 2020. John and I received a call at 1:50 a.m. from my older brother to come home. I had my cuddle time with mom; then, at 3:50 p.m. that afternoon, she took her final breath.

It has only been a few months since we left that season of our lives. Still, thankfully God is showing me why the experiences I encountered were essential. I do not understand many things that came about during that season. But God always pointed me back to Him—calling me to trust Him when I couldn’t see the whys of the past or the wonders of the future. During my caregiving time, I encountered burnout, compassion fatigue, taxing emotions, and the perps of spending time with my dear mom. I knew the challenges were in His hands. Thanks for your prayers!

Life is an adventure. I wailed many times during this period, “Lord, I can’t handle it anymore!” But He knew and knows when it is time to step in for relief. God moved when I reached the pinnacle of my despair in August. These years are now part of my life story. I recognize that “being out of our comfort zone” is usually the only way we can grow, and I thank God for it. I experienced many sweet times with mom that would not have been possible any other way, but it was still strenuous and tough on me. So, thanks again for your prayers!

Each day, I feel a little more rested and restored. I know that the Lord will use this experience for His glory. There are so many Biblical principles that I had read in Scripture but not experienced before. I encountered so many aspects during these 4+ years: love, forgiveness, gratitude, and boundaries—to mention the positive ones. Sometimes it is hard to see circumstances clearly when living under stress or in a bleak period. Still, when the light is slowly restored, we can feel God’s peace and presence in extraordinary ways—even supernaturally. We start understanding the why, the why not, the how much longer questions of life. In these times, we must depend on the prayers of our friends like you. And for that, thanks again for your prayers!

My takeaway is to encourage you to look at your circumstances through the eyes of our heavenly Father. Commit to renewing your mind daily with prayer and Bible study. Remember that darkness does not stay forever in whatever situation you face. Even through hard times, He is close by—guiding us, building our faith, and waiting to meet our needs. He has a purpose for everything we experience in life, to prepare us for His assignments here on earth or for our heavenly home.

Today—Two Years Later

Yes, John and I have moved on; that is a long story. Still, one thing we both know is that God directed and allowed us to spend time with mom. However, I encountered difficult times caregiving at points along the way. If you are caregiving, hang on! Memories are being formed that will be cherished more with time. The emotional journey has a purpose that God will use in your life ministries.

While living with my mom, I wrote a book titled Christian Caregiving: Practical Advice for a Happy Ending. I wrote it during the first two years of living with mom. If I had waited until later, the book would probably never have been written. I left out the hard part, the biography of my experiences as time passed, because I hadn’t experienced that. However, it is a good book for those starting on the journey of caregiving with lots of Scripture references. I am not posting this as a sales pitch for my book, but I wanted you to know good things come from caregiving. Our strength in Him and knowing that He always has His best for us in mind keeps us going.

Mom, I love you, and I always will. Thanks for loving me. I still miss you two years later.

God Bless.

Verses from Christian Caregiving:  Practical Advice for a Happy Ending [9780692115381-Available on Amazon.com. Only $7.44 today.

Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many (Matthew 20:28).

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32).

Commit your works to the LORD, and your plans will be established (Proverbs 16:3)

Books by Patti Greene

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Christian Living, Church and Ministry, Coronavirus, Patti Greene, Sacred Snippets, Spiritual Growth

Sacred Snippet: Watching a Former Church Online

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FBC-O’Fallon, Missouri by Patti Greene

Since COVID-19, my usual Sunday morning consists of watching my own church Bear Creek Church, Katy online, then watching Southcrest Baptist Church, Lubbock, and then an “extra church” for variety.

Today, my “extra church” was our former church, First Baptist Church-O’Fallon, Missouri. We left there 24 years ago when we moved back to Houston.

It was an awesome feeling. I felt like I was back in time. Memories of areas the Lord privileged me to serve filled my being — the apartment ministries, the Christmas tree gifts ministry, the library ministry, and the fun times like when a lady leading a group I was in just got up, closed her eyes and laid down on the floor for 5+ minutes. Everyone else seemed to know what she was doing but for me! Turns out it was a menopause attack! I learned a lot at that church about God and life.

Of course, all the pastors have changed, but the music and “being in the sanctuary” was like being right there with my old friends and church family!

I even imagined my former and now late pastor Gary Taylor at the helm preaching. I was brought back to the day we all poured out our love to him when he rolled himself onto the platform shortly after his devastating car accident. He couldn’t wait to preach to us. And we couldn’t wait to love and pray him through his crisis time. He trusted us to love him through his difficulty because we were family-we really were.

The sermon today by the current pastor Dr. Michael Atherton was on “Spiritual Giftedness” in the church and I only took six pages of notes! I typed them up; and even distributed my notes. Okay, to be honest, I only emailed them to one person so far.

I say all this to encourage you to think back to a church that gave you great satisfaction and joy and join them online sometime. It will make you so grateful for all the experiences and love you have received from God.

At least it did for me?

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Sacred Snippet: A Silver Lining

I admit it! I am a readaholic! During this quarantine period, I have read a ton of books. I usually only like to read one book at a time (along with the Bible), but I have found myself in a pickle these past few weeks—to the point of becoming overwhelmed.

I am currently reading…
– A book by A.W. Tozer;
– A book on the Christian life;
– A book preview for a friend who will publish her book soon;
– A book that is accompanied by a workbook;
– Reference books for when I have questions; and
– A book on Winston Churchill and World War II. [Usually, my bedtime reading!] What’s up with that?

But, God always has a silver lining for us! My silver lining is that I now get to pick up whatever book my mood directs me too!

Right now, I think I will go back and reread 1 Kings 12! It was awesome yesterday, so I am going to reread it.

As much as this quarantine has changed our lives, do you have a silver lining you would like to share? I would love to hear it!

#bgbg2, Bible Study, Christian Living, Coronavirus, Life Issues, People in the Bible, Worry

Don’t Worry… Be HOLY…

Don’t Worry… Be HOLY…

Our best response to COVID-19: stay focused on God

by Ellsworth Johnson, Guest Contributor

Those of us old enough to remember the late 1980s can recall Bobby McFerrin’s song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”. In it, he urges the listener to stay positive and upbeat through a litany of troubles, yet offers no hope or framework to support this approach.

Additionally, many people, including Christians, have been heard to say “God just wants me to be happy.” The trouble is… there is no place in Scripture where this claim is made. Our happiness, arguably, is not one of God’s explicit priorities, but our holiness is:

Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

2 Corinthians 7:1

In the age of Coronavirus, our heavenly Father wants us Christians to stop wasting time agonizing over things we cannot control, and instead turn to Him as our first response when faced with trouble or fear.

Worrying, Past and Present

“Worrying big” is nothing new.

King Jehoshaphat of Judah faced a joint invasion from Moab and Ammon, an attack he had no hope of repelling. Two centuries later Hezekiah took part in a celebrated encounter with the Assyrian army, the most advanced (and brutal!) military in the world at the time, which was massed outside Jerusalem, poised to strike.

Both kings did the best thing they could have done under the circumstances: they turned the problem over to God, and let Him fight the battle instead.

Jehoshaphat proclaimed a fast and prayed before the nation of Judah, the essence of his prayer captured by this verse:

“For we are powerless before this great multitude who are coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are on You.”

2 Chronicles 20:12b

Similarly, Hezekiah was terrified by the horde massing outside his gates, taunting the Israelite soldiers on the city walls with boasts about the superiority of the Assyrian gods, and gleefully recounting all the powerful nations they had defeated.

Hezekiah, too, went before Jehovah:

“Now, O LORD our God, I pray, deliver us from his hand that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that You alone, O LORD, are God.”

2 Kings 19:19

God answered the prayers of these kings of Judah in powerful ways. In the case of Jehoshaphat, the attacking enemy was divinely confused and ended up killing each other. For Hezekiah, He released the Angel of Death, who “breathed in the face of the foe as he passed” ¹ and exterminated 185,000 soldiers in a single night.

Pandemic of the Century

Sadly, large-scale pestilence has an equally long track record. The Black Death, the most fatal outbreak of all time, killed up to 200 million people on three continents from 1347 to 1351. In 1453 Constantinople was decimated by the bubonic plague as rats carried the disease to the rest of Europe. More recently, the worldwide influenza outbreak of 1918 was characterized by the Center for Disease Control as “the most severe pandemic in recent history,” infecting one-third of the world’s population and taking an estimated 50 million lives, with about 675,000 of those casualties in the United States.

And now… this.

“Don’t worry” is the overwhelming message from the pulpit around the country as COVID-19 rages on around us. We get daily counts as to confirmed cases and fatalities, but, as during the Tenth Plague in Egypt, when the first-born of each household was killed, we are to trust God that those whom He has chosen to spare will be kept off those lists.

Oh, what miracles are possible if our leaders would only overcome their collective pride and arrogance, and lead us in bowing down in submission to the true King of the universe?

Holiness, Explained

What does it even mean to “be holy”? When I was a kid attending Catholic Masses I thought it indicated you had a halo around your head, like in all the paintings and on the stained glass, which somehow marked you as “holy”… whatever that means…

There is no shortage of available answers; countless books have been written on the subject, and advice is all over the Internet – there is even a WikiHow page on the subject of holiness!

I have a feeling I am not the only one out here with a distorted idea of what holiness is. For all of us, that ends today, right here, right now!

Q: What does it mean to “be holy”?

A: Looking it up in the dictionary, and synthesizing from the many sources I consulted, I came up with:

holy: set aside by or for God, for Him and His purposes

So the holy water at Catholic churches is “holy” because it was blessed and set aside for its part in Masses. Similarly, the wafers and wine used at Communion, as well as the vessels which contain them, are “holy” because they are reserved specifically for use during The Lord’s Supper, and used only then.

Q: What can be holy?

According to Christianity.com, time, space, objects, and people—all can become holy if they belong to God. The temple in Jerusalem was considered holy space, and the objects used in worship holy objects. The Sabbaths and feasts of Israel were considered holy days or seasons. And the Israelites were called God’s holy people by virtue of belonging to [H]im. ²

Q: That’s all well and good, but let’s focus on people. What makes a person holy?

People can be holy when they are set aside by or for God. Samson was holy because an angel of the LORD told his mother “the boy will be a Nazirite to God from the womb to the day of his death.” King David was undoubtedly holy because he was “a man after God’s own heart” and sought to do what God ordained. In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul was used mightily by God in spreading the Gospel and writing numerous letters to churches in Asia which became part of Christian canon.

Q: Why does holiness matter?

The main benefit of holiness is a close relationship with God, and the bounty which follows from it. Kathy Howard describes such closeness in her essay “5 Benefits of Living a Holy Life”:

Would you like to sit next to God and snuggle up against His side? To be so close you could hear Him
breathe? There would be no distance between the two of you, no barriers to prevent you from drawing
near. You could linger in His presence and rest in the circle of His embrace. ³

Howard’s list of those five benefits:

1. Holiness fosters intimacy with God and builds spiritual strength and stability (Psalm 15:1-6)

2. Holiness makes us useful and effective for God’s purposes (2 Timothy 2:20-26)

3. Holiness in your life causes people around you to glorify God (1 Peter 2:9-12)

4. Holiness builds peace with God (2 Peter 3:10-18)

5. Holiness pleases God and produces “fruit” (Ephesians 5:1-17)

Another aspect of holiness is that God gets rather protective of holy people and things, and visits vengeance on those who would attack, abuse and defile them.

God said to the Israelites in Leviticus 19:2: “You shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy.” In turn, the Old Testament is replete with cases where foes like the Moabites, Ammonites and Amalekites are vanquished before the LORD.

In Daniel 5, King Belshazzar commanded that the golden vessels his father Nebuchadnezzar plundered from the temple in Jerusalem be brought forth so that he and his nobles, wives and concubines could drink from them while praising their false gods. God responded by bringing the Babylonian kingdom to an end that very night, and Belshazzar was killed by the conquering Medes.

Q: Well, I’m not one of those giants of the Bible, yet Scripture urges me to be holy anyway. How can I do that?

A sentence I found in an online commentary pretty much nailed it:

You are holy to the extent that your life is devoted to [H]im and your actions reflect [H]is character. ⁴

Yes, imitation really is the sincerest form of flattery! Perhaps the most profound way to glorify God (enhance His reputation) is by mirroring His temperament.

Q: So what can I take away from all this?

Holiness is how we manifest God’s nature in our own behavior. We make ourselves holy by setting ourselves apart for God and His purposes, and rejecting the way the world acts and thinks. It’s a “win-win” all around: God gets glorified (His reputation enhanced), we individual Christians enjoy a closer and protective relationship with Him, and the lost world witnesses His goodness and love through us.

While contemplating what it means to be holy:

1) holy: set apart for God

my mind drifted to this sound-alike phrase:

2) wholly set apart for God

Is this not a strong description of holiness? It’s also a great way to remember the definition given above.

Another good memory device for discerning holy behavior is an acronym popularized in Christian circles during the waning years of the 20th century. In a given situation, ask yourself:

WWJD → “What Would Jesus Do?”

The answer you get to that question will guide you toward an appropriate response.

What Did Jesus SAY?

Jesus eloquently captured this message on personal holiness during the Sermon on the Mount, specifically in Matthew 6:26-34:

“… do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?

And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!

Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

In other words: “Don’t worry… be holy.”

Bible Verses

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Philippians 4:6

[If] My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

2 Chronicles 7:14

Take a bunch of hyssop and dip it in the blood that is in the basin, and touch the lintel and the two doorposts with the blood that is in the basin. None of you shall go out of the door of his house until the morning. For the LORD will pass through to strike the Egyptians, and when he sees the blood on the lintel and on the two doorposts, the LORD will pass over the door and will not allow the destroyer to enter your houses to strike you.

Exodus 12:22-23

[W]e also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Romans 5:3-4 (NIV)

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Matthew 5:48 (NIV)

But when this priest had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, and since that time he waits for his enemies to be made his footstool. For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.

Hebrews 10:12-14 (NIV)

Prayer

Yes, Father, those of us with ears to hear do indeed receive the loud warning You are proclaiming; You have our attention.

You have once more allowed pestilence and death to stand up against this world, to dim the distractions around us and focus our sights on our need for salvation, both physical and spiritual. For these, we look to You.

I believe You are showing us the cracks in the foundation of our way of daily life, as a first step in addressing and, hopefully, repairing them. You let us see our limitations and our biases, the gross inequalities which exist in our nation, and the stark choices we make when lives are at stake.

Shine a light on our corrupted values, and convict us where they have been compromised.

Bless and protect those who put themselves in harm’s way to safeguard our collective health and keep the essentials of this society functioning.

I pray that our leaders humble themselves, get the messages You are sending us through this pandemic and act on them; if they don’t, replace them with Godly men and women who will.

We fear not, because You promised to take care of us. “We are Your people, the sheep of Your pasture.” We remain set apart for You, a light by which this country and this world may navigate these dark times.

Our source and guide in all this is Your Son Jesus, the bright and morning star, in whose name I pray. Amen.

Works Cited:

¹ Byron, Lord. “The Destruction of Sennacherib.” epic poem by Lord Byron, 1815.

² Christianity.com Editorial Staff, “What Is Holiness? How Can We Be Holy?” https://www.christianity.com/wiki/christian-terms/what-is-holiness-what-can-be-holy.html.

³ Howard, Kathy, “5 Benefits of Living a Holy Life” https://www.kathyhoward.org/ November 2, 2017.

⁴ Gumbel, Nicky, Bible in One Year, Day 58, February 27, “Six Characteristics of a Holy Life”,
https://www.bibleinoneyear.org/bioy/commentary/2461.

All Bible verses come from the New American Standard Bible unless otherwise noted.

*The content of “Guest Contributor” posts are at the discretion of the contributor. While only those with similar beliefs are asked to contribute, their content may or may not represent the views of this website.

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