Tag Archives: church

#bgbg2, Caregiving, Death, Faith, God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit, God's Will, Life Issues, Medical, Parenting and Family, Salvation

Caregiving Part 5: Spirituality

August 6, 2017 Patti Greene 1 Comment

Caregiving. My husband and I moved in with my mother when my father passed away a year and a half ago. Mom is a fragile 91-year-old. Her health is not good, but her mind is phenomenal. Today I drove Mom and her friend to their church for a special service. We stayed afterward for the end-of-the-year Women’s Club luncheon. The women chatted, laughed, and enjoyed fellowship with their friends. You might ask why I chauffer my mother around like this; I do it because I love my mother and I want her to continue to enjoy the church she has attended for the past 50 years. It is there she fellowships with her friends and shares a spiritual connection with others and the Lord.

As a caregiver, our concerns usually center around our parents’ emotional, physical and social life. One aspect often lacking in caregiving is an interest in the elderly’s spiritual life. Whether you are a part-time caregiver or a full-time caregiver, giving yourself to the spiritual needs concerning your parents is truly a privilege.

For those who take their spirituality seriously, a sense of purpose and fulfillment undergirds their lives. Despite this fact, some do not understand or take seriously this component of another’s life. Understanding spirituality is complicated because there are so many scenarios and so many definitions of spirituality at play. They involve answering questions such as:

Are you a part-time caregiver or a full-time caregiver?
Are your parents living in the same town or city as you are?
Are you a strong believer, a ‘sort of’ religious person, or an uninterested individual?
Have your parents lived a dedicated life for Christ and the church? Have they attended church sporadically? Or, have they rarely explored any ‘religious’ life?

Once you mix and match all these different dynamics together, it’s time to discern and pray about your part in your parents’ spiritual life. Regardless of your parents’ spiritual background, caring for them is one of the most compassionate undertakings you or your siblings can pursue. Included in regular caregiving responsibilities, being a part of allowing your parents to pursue or continue their interests in God, church, and spiritual growth is an important part of caregiving.

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (1 Timothy 5:8)

Your Parents

Many seniors who have attended church all their lives develop a deeper desire for the things of God when they get older; but many do not. Some glide into old age making their spirituality more of an inward feat and not a community feat. In Spirituality and Aging, Sociology Professor Emeritus at Marquette University David O. Moberg says, “Many scientists who study spirituality and aging have concluded that spirituality increases with age. However, it is also important to acknowledge that other prominent researchers disagree with this premise.” ¹ Gerontologists are starting to see how the spiritual life regarding their patients yields an unexplainable peace and calmness as they face the future. As a result, their physical well-being is often affected in a positive way. They see their patients with faith as possessing strength and tranquility regarding their future.

Driving Forces Why Seniors Depend on God

Many seniors are concerned about their death and the afterlife.
Their faith provides strength as they face illnesses, loss of friends, and loneliness.
They have more time to pray and read their Bible.
Concern over a reduced income and the ability to meet their needs.
A renewed or deepening dependence and guidance by the Holy Spirit.

At a time when seniors tackle new challenges, many undergo losing their support systems. This should be a huge consideration in churches as “baby boomers” are starting to fit into the senior adult category.

Driving Forces Why Seniors Abandon their Faith and Church

Lack of activities for seniors—Feeling of alienation may occur when more emphasis is given to youth ministries, young adult ministries, or any ministries besides senior adult ministries.
Miss traditions—They feel left out, unwanted, unneeded in the congregation. Seniors enjoy the familiarity of things past, i.e. hymns, Sunday dinners, fellowship luncheons.
Difficulty adjusting to change—The new programs and facilities are too much for them. Adjusting to change is especially hard for the aging population.
Hearing loss—They can’t hear the preacher or Sunday school teacher.
Stimulating services (music, yelling, confusion)—The British Alzheimer’s Society discusses noise triggers by saying, “[People with Alzheimer’s] feel bewildered or anxious because there is too much noise, too many people around, or a change in a familiar routine.”
Other disabilities—There may not be handicapped parking or wheelchair accommodations at the church. They may be unable to get to church due to disability or inability to drive themselves. Or maybe, there is too much walking to get to their classes or sanctuary easily.

Caregiving and You

As a family caregiver member, it is imperative for you to be cognizant of your parents’ needs. This includes their spiritual needs.

Practical Ways You Can Help

If you live in the same town or city as your parents, bring them to church and church functions.
If you live out-of-town, contact their church organization, friends, or other family members to set up transportation.
If your parents are in a facility, investigate what kind of spiritual activities that are available.
Make their living environment familiar and comfortable, i.e. put their favorite cross in their room, be sure their Bible is easily accessible.
Provide notecards, stamps, and addresses so they can write and minister to their friends.
Get their hearing checked by an audiologist.
Get their eyesight checked by an optometrist or an ophthalmologist.
Purchase a large-print Bible for them if needed.
And, if you or family members live in the same city or town, be sure to visit them!

Whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 4:11)

Questions Caregivers Must Ask

What hindrances are my parents facing?
My parents used to attend church. Why don’t they go now?
How do I approach my unbelieving parents about Jesus Christ?

These are just a few of the many questions caregivers might have. You may want to spend some time thinking, meditating, and praying for what questions need to be asked and how you can be a part of the solution.

How to Pray: Ten Tips for a Better Prayer Life

Keep Yourself in Top Spiritual Shape

Being connected to God’s divine source can help you manage better as your caregiving duties progress. Continuing or starting to seek God’s presence and strength in your life will assist you as you care for and minister to your loved ones. Understanding you are not perfect alleviates a mindset of inadequacy. Remind yourself of all your parents have done for you. If they haven’t done much, it is time to ask God how He wants you to treat them and care for them regardless of the past. God is available to help you as you support your parents. By being their caregiver, you can be assured, God has given you a divine assignment—one that you won’t regret.

Salvation and Eternal Life

On our most recent visit to my mother’s oncologist, we were discussing mom’s diagnosis and future prognosis. In his matter-of-fact intonation, he said, “Mrs. —————, life is a terminal illness!” While we don’t want to think about life like this, it is true. We all will die and face an eternal future.

As we live our earthly life, let us be ever mindful about our eternal destination. Gaining an understanding of our future existence is significant in understanding life-and-death anxieties and angsts.

Both caregivers and parents and all humanity will die. CRU (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ) discusses four laws in the booklet “Have You Heard of the Four Spiritual Laws?” ²

Four Spiritual Laws

Law 1: God loves you and offers a wonderful plan for your life.

John 3:16

Law 2: Man is sinful and separated from God. Therefore, he cannot know and experience God’s love and plan for his life.

Romans 3:23

Law 3: Jesus Christ is God’s only provision for man’s sin. Through Him, you can know and experience God’s love and plan for your life.

John 14:6

Law 4: We must individually receive Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord; then we can know and experience God’s love and plan for our lives.

Revelation 3:20

A Heart-to-Heart Prayer

If you or your parents have not accepted Jesus Christ, now is the time to have a frank conversation with God. If you are unsure how to pray for God’s salvation, a simple well-meaning prayer can be the best decision for both of your lives.

Dear God, I know I’m a sinner, and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe Jesus Christ is Your Son. I believe that He died for my sin and that you raised Him to life. I want to trust Him as my Savior and follow Him as Lord, from this day forward. Guide my life and help me to do your will. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.” ³

If you have accepted Jesus Christ but your parents haven’t, now is the time to have a candid heart-to-heart with them.

Eight days before my father passed away, I had a candid heart-to-heart with him. He prayed a prayer akin to the prayer written above. As we sat on his couch at 5 am we quietly talked together and talked to God. Some may call this a deathbed conversion. No matter what it is called, my father accepted Jesus Christ and God used me to help him make the best decision of his life.

Caretaking means being responsible for various aspects of your parents’ life. As we face our parents’ sundown years, let’s do what we can to help them hold on to, delight in, and agree to take part in their spiritual life while at the same time progressing and preserving our own spiritual life.

Do You Fear Death?

Bible Verses: See above.

Prayer:

Dear heavenly Father, as I consider all the needs of my parents, let me be mindful of their whole being. I pray for their emotional, physical, social, and spiritual life. Make me aware of their needs. Let me offer my help. Give us both peace. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

God Bless,

Member Inspirational Writers Alive; Bible Gateway Blogger Grid Member

Edited by E. Johnson; Bible verses are taken from the NASB if not noted otherwise.

Works Cited/Bibliography

¹ Spirituality and Aging. http://www.nap411.com. Accessed 10 May 2017.

² Greene, Patti. Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer. Bloomington: WestBow, 2016. [Permission given from CRU for Have You Heard of the Four Spiritual Laws summary.]

³ Begin Your Journey to Peace. www.peacewithgod.net. Accessed 10 May 2017.

Coming Soon: Caregiving Part 6: How to Prepare, Embrace, and Survive the Final Moments

If you found this post helpful, please like/share it so others can get the benefit. Thanks. If you would like to receive email notifications of new posts or to receive monthly newsletters, please click here and scroll down on www.GreenePastures.org to subscribe.

Books by Patti Greene

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

#bgbg2, Church and Ministry, God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit, Most Recent Post

Fool’s Gold: The Folly of a “Semblance of God”

April 21, 2017 Patti Greene

Many people today have what amounts to a “Semblance of God” in their lives, such as a figure of Christ in their churches, or a cross in their homes. In churches, Bibles have been replaced in the pew-back pockets by offering envelopes, social activity schedules and pencils.

Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines semblance is as, “an outward and often specious appearance or show.” Specious, in turn, means “having a deceptive attraction or allure”, and “having a false look of truth or genuineness.”

What will happen to “semblance churches,” which are deceptive and give a false appearance of what Christian living is all about? Will they survive in their fallen form, or go the way of many European churches which are now restaurants or museums—left standing solely to maintain the architecture and design of a historical time period? No more do the church bells chime. No longer do praises of our heavenly Father emanate from the holy sanctuary—they are only a memory and a remnant of days gone by.

“Sad” is the only word I can use to describe this situation.

Today there are still distraught and needy people the world over who seek the one true God. There are still shoulders that need embracing, hugs that need to be given, prayers that need to be heard—and a Savior who longs to reign in His church.

We show up for funerals, and leave unaware of the final resting place of the deceased. We mourn for those left behind, but not for too long, as we don’t want to face where our own eternal destination might be.

Christ is the only answer for the people, and Christ is the only answer for the church. Christ is also the only answer for our own eternal security.

How to Bring Christ Back into Our Churches by Relinquishing a “Semblance of God”

Teach that it is the Holy Spirit who draws people to Christ. It is only through repentance of our sins and acceptance of Jesus Christ as our personal Savior we are rescued from hell. Only when this is done will we be ready for our eternal life with Jesus Christ.

Invite to leadership positions only those who have accepted God’s gift of salvation, proven their integrity, possess the fruits of the Spirit, and are actively growing in their spiritual lives.

Pray for the Holy Spirit to enliven our churches. Dead churches produce religion. Live churches, on the other hand, produce hope, comfort, assurance, and peace.

Stand up for what is right. Talk about it. Whether you are the preacher or not, there are topics about which we can speak up when confronted, such as abortion and evolution.

Stop bribing people to come to church for a free meal, a big performance, or with other such gimmicks. Get back to the basics of teaching God’s Word, praying, and seeking Him above all else.

Stop bribing people to come to church for a free meal, a big performance, or with other such gimmicks.

Tweet This

Stop segregating church attendees into age groups. Seniors have a lot of wisdom they can share with younger generations, while children and millennials offer their energy and vitality to their elders.

Stop using church growth as the main metric of successful evangelism. Be more concerned that converts to Christ are truly repentant of their sins, and that opportunities exist for discipleship.

Stop allowing weak and false doctrines to seep in and dilute church teaching. Many churches and their members choose to believe only the parts of the Bible that fit into their already-established lifestyles and cultures. Other churches may participate in Eastern therapies during the week, through certain forms of yoga or guided illumination.

Throughout the Old Testament God’s people went through continuing cycles of loving Him followed by periods of rejection. God had finally had enough and punished them severely. This punishment often caused factions and disagreements within the church and among the people who called themselves believers.

But Jesus Christ never gave up on His people or His church. He came to Earth to live an honorable and reputable life as an example to us. He suffered and died, then rose from the grave as propitiation for our sins, so that we may live godly lives.

And when we live godly lives, resembling His ways, our churches will come to resemble God, and not just be a semblance of Him.

Bible Verses:

So, Jesus said, “When you lift up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am He, and I do nothing on My own initiative, but I speak these things as the Father taught Me.” John 8:28

Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. 1 Timothy 4:13 KJV

Do not be carried away by varied and strange teachings; for it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace, not by foods, through which those who were so occupied were not benefited. Hebrews 13:9

Prayer:

Dear heavenly Father, let my heart and mind be sold out to You. Let my church family be sold out to You also. Let’s grow together—keeping You foremost in our minds. Let us learn to follow Your Holy Spirit in all You say and do. Make my priorities Your priorities. May I be ever careful to follow Your laws and rules with love. Give me the courage to speak out for You and to love You more and more each day. In Jesus’ holy name. Amen.

God Bless,

Patti Greene, Member Inspirational Writers Alive

Edited by E. Johnson; Bible verses taken from the NASB.

If you liked this article and would like to receive email notifications of new posts or to receive monthly newsletters, please click here and scroll down on www.GreenePastures.org to subscribe. It is an easy way not to miss any posts in your feed! Moreover, I would love seeing you as part of the Greene Pastures Community.

Books by Patti Greene

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

A 90-day devotional prayer journal for all ages; This informative and how-to book on prayer is for seekers, new believers, and mature believers. It encourages a commitment and devotion to the art of prayer. Learn how God reveals himself through Bible study and prayer. ISBN: 978-1512760453 (Paperback) $11.95 on Amazon.

Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

A 365-day devotional prayer journal for in-depth Bible study; Fun words or phrases from the Old and New Testaments! Perfect for mature believers. ISBN: 978-1490893181 (Paperback) $27.95 on Amazon.

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

A 181-day devotional prayer journal for growing individuals; The Bible and social issues. Perfect for new believers. Comes with a group study guide. ISBN: 978-1490893174 (Paperback) $19.95 on Amazon.

#bgbg2

Christian Living, Life Issues, Prayer, Testimonies

From a Mother’s Heart: Praying Christian Community into Existence

Video November 10, 2016 Patti Greene

From a Mother’s Heart: Praying Christian Community into Existence / by Patti Greene, Greene Pastures by Patti

[From Email notifications, click the title for best web viewing]

Our family lives in Houston, Texas. In the fall of 2004, our son Jimmy started his first year at Babson College. It was during this time that God impressed on my heart the absolute need for believers to dwell in union and community in Jesus Christ.

In high school Jimmy applied to many colleges, but after much prayer he made the decision to attend Babson in the Boston, Massachusetts area – which is 1,848 miles away from home.

For background, we are a middle-class family. Jimmy attended a public high school and was raised in Bible-believing churches. Our church, and church friends, were always like family to us.

Jimmy stayed his first year at Babson, but the calls and emails home were increasingly breaking this mom’s heart. That first year was tough for him; for the first time, he was competing with private school kids, prep school kids, and kids much more ingrained in education than he was. The academic standards were higher than expected.

Jimmy was unhappy, stressed, and deeply regretting his college choice. He attended a high school with 3,500 students. He was class president for four years and an outstanding athlete. However, Babson was a D-3 school and there wasn’t much pride in the sports arena compared to D-1 schools. This college was strictly an upper level business school whose attendees consisted of those who considered attending other prestigious schools, e.g. Harvard, Yale, MIT. We were all astonished this was where Jimmy was being led by God to attend. It didn’t make sense to us other than Jimmy had a deep desire to attend a school in the Northeast where he would be challenged academically.

Every day I would come home from work, and I would pray long, hard, and continuously for him. It was sad because my two older children enjoyed their college life, but this post-secondary adversity was a new experience for both my husband, Jimmy, and myself.

I prayed more than I had ever prayed for anything in my life. I prayed for him to find a church family. I prayed for Christian friends. I prayed for him to find a Bible-believing church. I prayed for him to be strong in his faith. I prayed for him to become closer to the Lord. I prayed he would read his Bible. The list could go on and on.

This mom’s heart was breaking. Tears flowed almost daily.

I had been made aware of “prayer-walking” although I had never done it in a church situation before. GotQuestions.org, an online source for answering Biblical questions, defines prayer-walking as “the practice of praying on location, a type of intercessory prayer that involves walking to or near a particular place while praying.” ¹ While unable to be on the Massachusetts campus myself, I decided to prayer walk in my own creative way.

I sat down in the chair in which I normally pray in with a map of the college campus. I “walked” around the campus in my mind, praying for what happened in each dorm. I prayed for Jimmy to meet nice people in the cafeteria and prayed for his classes. Thus, within time, I had prayed for every building on campus, including the chapel, which was mostly used for lectures, not religious events.

I seemed to dwell and pray more in and around the chapel. Of course, in my mind, the chapel represented God, Jesus, the Bible, and the Holy Spirit.

I continued to pray fervently and long. I prayed for any Christian church to reach out in ministry. I prayed for Christian influences to show up. I prayed for spiritual strength. I prayed for the Lord to speak to others to help. I prayed for the community people. I prayed because I love my son and I wanted him to be happy and to keep his Christian faith strong during college.

Campus Crusade for Christ (now known as CRU for Crusade) had occasional meetings on the campus. While CRU was helping to fulfill the Great Commission by winning people to faith in Jesus Christ and building them in their faith, more was needed, e.g. fellowship, Bible study, opportunities to serve.

I was reading the Bible constantly looking for verses to help him and to guide myself in what to tell him.

I was touched by Bible Verses such as:

My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word! (Psalm 119:28).

Redeem [him] from the oppression of men, that [he] may obey your precepts. (Psalm 119:134)

Most importantly, I prayed for students to come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ as their Savior. I claimed verses for these college students to have the ability to stay strong in their beliefs and to avoid evil and temptations.

Our son tried to transfer after his first year to the University of Texas where he was initially accepted, but they wanted him to do summer school first. The timing didn’t work out, and it became obvious that God had other plans. He was going back to Babson.

Long story short: in the fall of 2005, I received a phone call. Jimmy said he went to church. When I asked him where, he said, a church started on the college campus IN THE CHAPEL. When he told me it was a Christian church that believed in the Bible, I was absolutely thrilled!

Never, in my wildest dreams, did I think that a church (a CHRISTIAN church, no less) would be right on the college campus where students could just roll out of bed and be ministered to by the Lord and the community.

The vision of this church is to be a local supportive community of authentic followers of Christ who experience transformation by the grace of Jesus Christ and bring God’s love to the world. It was through their ministry that Jimmy’s attitude changed regarding being at Babson. He met fellow students who were believers – one to this day who is his best friend. He found solace and comfort in meeting Christians from the community. Being invited to meals, dinners, and functions by the members of this church boosted his faith and that of those who attended with him. He played his guitar during the church services.

Finally, after a year of zealous praying, my son and others had a spiritual community of believers that cared for them, guided them, fed them, and loved them for the next three years.

I asked Jimmy (who has been out of that scenario for 6 1/2 years) what his involvement with the church meant to him and his buddies. He said, in his business tone, “It was an excellent way for the campus students to mature in their spiritual life; to see how ‘older’ Christians lived their lives; and to see how Christian employers and businessmen act and conduct business.”

Then, the goose bumps came when I heard what God had been doing behind the scenes the entire first year I was praying. One of the founding members of the church shared with me about how their home-church contacted the chaplain at Babson to ask about the availability of their church meeting in the chapel for services. Much to their amazement, they were told that the only time the chapel was available was on Sunday morning.

What a blessing to see how the Holy Spirit was working things all together as only He can do. Only God can take the prayers of one mom in Texas and one congregation in Massachusetts to work things together for good. There was no doubt in my mind that God started the ministry on the Babson campus and there was no doubt why. He always knows the big picture and puts it all together for His glory.

College is hard enough. Having an outlet for fellowship, love, and good Bible-teaching is a true blessing and outreach. You may not ever know how much it means to these kids, but believe me, it does. I continue to see the spiritual fruits of this Christian community in Jimmy’s life. God knew his unmet spiritual needs and He chose to meet it through this church.

The fall after my son graduated from Babson, the church relocated from the college chapel to a different facility. While I was happy for the church when they moved to a new location, a part of my heart was saddened by the lack of spiritual needs that might go unmet with those college students. But, fortunately, their new location was close to the college campus!

All I can say to this wonderful church is “thank you from the bottom of my heart for being receptive to the Holy Spirit and heeding His call.” While I was praying for a local church, God was creating a “ROLL OUT OF BED CHURCH” for all those Babson students who attended. God answered above all expectations. He even knew that my son would thrive best when church was within a five-minute wake-up time to sitting in a pew.

Praying ‘community’ into existence is powerful. Not only was I impressed by the need for believers to dwell in union and in community in Jesus Christ, I experienced firsthand how prayer can spur Christian community into existence.

Bible Verses:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6).

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching (Hebrews 10:24-25).

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2).

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).

Prayer:

Dear Father, Thank you for being with me during the difficult and painful times of my life. With your love and power, you can change circumstances and situations. You are an awesome God. May I always trust you to know best. Help me to always realize that through our tough times we grow more in faith and love towards you. Thanks you again. I love you. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

God Bless,

Patti Greene, Member Inspirational Writers Alive

Testimony given with permission from Jimmy.

Houdmann, S. Michael. Got Questions. GotQuestions.org. Accessed 27 Oct 2016.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version containing the Old and New Testament. Wheaton: Crossway, 2001. [All verses come from the English Standard Bible unless noted otherwise]

Edited by E. Johnson

My Books – Available on Amazon or can be ordered at any retail book store. You may order an autographed copy by clicking on SHOP on this site.

Just in time for Christmas! Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer has just been released by WestBow Press. I am so excited about this new book. If you or anyone you know is interested in developing a life of prayer, this 90-day prayer journal is perfect.

Answer Me includes:

An Undated Dateline
Topic on Prayer
Scripture Verse
Suggested Reading
Daily Thought
Prayer Request Section
Personal Reflection Section
Prayer

To Order from Amazon:

Answer Me: Developing a Heart for Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Other Books by Patti Greene:

Awaken Me: Growing Deeper in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Anchor Me: Laying a Foundation in Bible Study and Prayer (A Devotional Prayer Journal) by Patti Greene, click here

Comments are always welcome. And, I would love to see you subscribe to my blog. To sign up for Newsletter and/or blog, click here.

On my blog, I want to write about topics that serve your needs and about what matters to you. I strive to help you with your needs and interests. Therefore, I am inviting you to share your interests with me so the content I write about will be more relevant to you. Please comment on this blog or email me at [email protected] for confidentiality.

#bgbg2

Friendship, Medical

My Friend Tamara: Life, God, Cancer, and Death

December 8, 2015 Patti Greene

Tamara, my good friend passed away this month from cancer. She was only 40 years old. Thirteen months earlier she had been diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer that had metastasized to her brain, bones, liver, and stomach. She fought a valiant fight to survive. She did not want to leave her 4 children. I was honored to be asked to speak at her funeral service. I want to share my thoughts on my friend who passed away way before her time. The following are the words I spoke at her funeral service. We all know someone who either has or had cancer; thus, this disease affects us all. Please, let me take this opportunity to encourage every women to have their annual mammogram.

The name of the church and the family names have been changed for privacy sake.

Thank you all for coming to Tamara’s service. My name is Patricia, and Tamara and I were very good friends. Today, I have two “notes” to share with you – one from me and then one from my husband Joe. But, first, I will like to share my remembrances of a lovely lady.

Tamara was a praying woman. She shared with me about how scared she was when she moved to Houston from Pennsylvania. But, she said that her parents always told her to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. She wasn’t going to church, but her mom said, “Tamara, you were raised in church – you need to take the children to church.” Her mom gave her the idea to go to the closest church. That was this church – Fruits Baptist Church. She told me she remembers the pastor saying one day that, “You don’t have to feel lonely!” The next day Tamara she attended a Sunday School Class. She claimed she used to be shy, but she prayed, “God, who can I talk to?” It was in that Sunday School class that she told me once that God provided and it was through that class that she was able to share her life with other people and was where I became friends with Tamara. One day, Tamara and I were talking and I said, “Do you have anything special I can pray for you?” She just looked at me in unbelief that I asked her that. I didn’t understand. Then, she proceeded to tell me that I asked her those exact same words after a Sunday School class one day, and those words were the catalyst that started our friendship. Tamara became an active participant in our Saturday mornings fellowship luncheon which we had once a month too.

One day, I saw Tamara the happiest I had ever seen her. You see, in May, 2013, we threw her a surprise 39^thbirthday party. And believe me SHE WAS TOTALLY SURPRISED. We had balloons, cards, presents, and birthday cake. We sang happy birthday to her. She was so overwhelmed with love that her joy went from laughter to tears. It was at this party that Tamara shared the story of her life with us. The Holy Spirit filled the home and filled all of our hearts. While she was blessed, I think everyone who attended her birthday party left more filled and inspired than even she was.

She shared about how her mom sold tomatoes to help her attend a school where she could learn English. She shared about the beautiful furniture her dad made as a carpenter. In Tamara’s own words, she said the following about her parents.

“My parents raised all of their children to believe in God. My mum taught us that God is the only one you can depend on in life. My dad taught us how to pray for our food and for our sicknesses. My parents raised us well. In Zambia, where most of the people they knew died of AIDS, we had parents that took good care of us. We grew up in bad neighborhoods, but my parents were strict. They were always asking us if we prayed for this or prayed for that.”

Tamara loved Skyping with her family in Africa. She used to tell me about how her dad was quiet, but sometimes she would share something with them and they would get so excited praising God and dancing around. One time Tamara was at my house and I told her I prayed for her often. She said, “You do?” Then, I proceeded to show her in my prayer journal how she was on almost every day. In a sneaky Tamara kind of way, she tried to read the lines in my “personal journal.” She wanted to know EXACTLY what I was praying for her.

Before she was diagnosed with cancer, I prayed for her peace, for hope, for a place to live, for a job, for a car wreck she was in, for Sunday to get a job, for her children and more. Joe and I’s lives became totally intertwined with the family. One time our son Joseph took Sunday, her oldest son, with him to a park in Houston. They went walking on a path while Joseph taught an exercise class. When the class was over, Joseph couldn’t find Sunday anywhere. After waiting about 2 hours (and having many conversations with Tamara about Sunday’s whereabouts, Joseph called the police. Thursday night must be a low crime night because about 5 patrol cars were out searching for Sunday. Finally, one of the policemen found Sunday around 9 at night (in the dark) in the Bayou near the Beltway. The police picked up Sunday and drove him to Joseph’s car quite a few miles away. Tamara and I laughed so hard many times about how Sunday was able to get such special treatment and how he got to ride in a police car and he didn’t even do anything wrong. That is just one example of the laughter we shared on many occasions.

Tamara’s love for her children was so strong. If I had to sum up what Tamara felt about each child, it would be this:
Victor [5th Grade]: Your mom fell in love with your tender and sweet spirit; keep smiling for her. You are any mom’s dream. Devon [7th Grade] : Your mom was so proud of your musical talent and fun-loving spirit; When you play your music, play well for your mom! And remember Luka, your mom thinks you are the best cleaner in the family.
Faith [11th Grade]: Your mom was so happy to have a little girl; she was thrilled with your dancing ability and your strong desire to do well in school; keep it up for her, and keep dancing.

Sunday [2013 High School Graduate]: What you have done for your family this past year has been unbelievable. You were the man of the house for the three kids; you nurtured them; you made sure they were fed; you saw that all their school papers were signed; you got them to and from school; you took your mom to her doctor appointments; you cared for her. You gave up a year of working and going to school to help your family. You will be blessed. Tamara depended on you and God allowed you the privilege of caring for her through her diagnosis and treatment. You will be blessed. And, your mom DID notice your responsible behavior.

And myself, I have been blessed by knowing Tamara and her family. She taught me how to love unconditionally; she taught me to always be faithful; she taught me so much about the African culture so when I moved to Nigeria 1 ½ years ago, I felt ready to face the challenge. But, one thing she didn’t get around to teaching me (and she kept promising me she would teach me is to how to tie those African scarves around my head) – So, the first thing I will do when I see her in heaven with be to get her to show me that.

In conclusion, I would like to share some of Tamara’s words. In May, 2014, Tamara asked me to write this down for her and to keep it and today I would like to share them with you.

These are her exact words written 5 months before her passing.

“In August, 2013, I was diagnosed with cancer. God is my help through all this. He has helped me in this sickness. People I don’t even know are standing in prayer for me. The doctors are standing with me too. My parents always taught me that God is always able, and I believe that. My encouragement to you is this: Whatever is going on in your life, remember, as my mom has always told me, that “God will always have his angels around you, taking your hand, and Jesus will deliver you in due time.” Matthew 4:6.

Rest in Peace

Blogger Badge - White background 100x100

Bible Gateway Blogger Grid (BG²) is an international network of independent bloggers who meaningfully blog—and who are serious—about matters relating to the Bible. Follow the members on Twitter using our BG² List.www.PattiGreene.com

Greene Pastures by Patti Londa Greene

Tag Archives: church

Caregiving Part 5: Spirituality