Category Archives: Church and Ministry

Mentoring on Modesty

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Modesty usually means that the parts of the body that do not need to be exposed should not be exposed. In most cultural terms, this is usually referring to one’s undergarments showing, too much bare skin, or very personal parts of the body.

In Islamic cultures, many Muslim women wear a hijab (headscarf) to show they are modest women. However, those who are more conservative might cover their entire body except for a little slit for their eyes. In some African cultures, their tattoos are considered as clothing. What you might find as modest in one culture might be considered ridiculous in another culture. As you can see, there are different definitions of modesty for different cultures and groups of people.

From my Christian perspective, I could write a very legalistic blog on the topic, but I’m not going to because I remember the day when I wouldn’t have listened to anyone criticizing my choice of clothing or appearance myself!

I can honestly say, “Been there! Done that!”

I remember that gorgeous skimpy shirt & short outfit I bought from the 579 clothing store when I was a teenager. I loved that outfit. I used to sneak it in my purse and change into it after I left my parent’s house. I really looked good in that outfit if I can say so myself. But, one day it disappeared. I never knew what happened to it, but I have the sneaky suspicious my mother somehow got rid of it even though to this day she denies it.

Then as I grew older and became more mature, I looked at how one dresses with a different perspective. One day as a high school librarian, I looked down the section where students were working on the computers and I was appalled when I saw the entire back of a young female student. She was sitting Indian style on the floor wearing a flat piece of fabric [in the front only] held together only by a little-attached tie around the neck. Do you see the visual? Working in a high school I saw way too many girls wearing shirts that cleavage showed and skirts that were way too short. I saw young men with their pants way lower than anyone would care to see; and believe it or not, I saw some teachers that did not seem to be dressed appropriately too.

. . . CHANGE OF TOPIC

I’ve heard many spiritually mature women finally feel ready in their Christian walk to share what they have learned on their Christian journey with others — especially to those younger than them. They may not feel “gifted” in that area, but they are realizing that God has been preparing them to be used in a deeper capacity. They are ready to take the experiences they have had and the knowledge and wisdom that the Lord has bestowed upon them to be used in a deeper, more applicable way. Many of these women are entering a stage in their life where they want to serve God fully, be an encourager and guide to others in their Christian walk. This desire comes when they fervently desire to see everything through God’s eyes and His eyes only. The timing of this desire varies, but many times it comes when a woman finds herself not working or caring for children at home anymore. There is more time at this point to serve God. Through their life, they have developed a deep intimacy with God and they have the experiences to prove it. Many of these women are encouraged to give of themselves to teach younger women after being convicted by the following verse.

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Titus 2:3-5 ESV

Their desire can take many different paths. Maybe they will teach a Bible study class; maybe they will mentor a new believer; maybe they will be available for counseling. Many different outlets are available to fulfill their desire to be used by God, but today I want to discuss just one of them — those who desire to teach younger women to be modest in their dress and appearance.

. . . BACK ON TOPIC

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire,  but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness.

1 Timothy 2:9-11 ESV

HOW TO TALK TO YOUNG WOMEN ABOUT THEIR DRESS AND APPEARANCE [Modesty]

  • Keep your ears open more than your mouth. Listen more than talk. Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance. Proverbs 1:5
  • Build credibility with the girl(s) first by be genuinely interested in them before talking specifics. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4
  • Give young people choices not demands. Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others, though we could have made demands as apostles of Christ. 1 Thessalonians 2:6
  • Guide them [not pound them] on what to do. For you are my rock and my fortress; and for your name’s sake you lead me and guide me. Psalm 31:3
  • Appreciate them for where they are right now in their Christian faith and encourage them. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good.         1 Peter 2:2-3
  • Be respectful of their opinions. You shall not be partial in judgment. You shall hear the small and the great alike. You shall not be intimidated by anyone, for the judgment is God’s. And the case that is too hard for you, you shall bring to me, and I will hear it. Deuteronomy 1:17
  • Do not focus on specific pieces of clothing; Focus on them and their beauty as a person. Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment. John 7:24
  • Teach them to pray and read their Bible, so the Holy Spirit can convict them on what they should or shouldn’t wear and/or behave. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. John 16:13
  • Remember that you are not their parents. You [parents] shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deuteronomy 11:19
  • Remember that you are there to minister and encourage them to be God’s best. For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you— that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine. Romans 1:11-12
  • Pray for God’s direction on when and when not to say something. Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. Psalms 25:4-5
  • Teach by example. Be sure that you are wearing appropriate attire. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. Titus 2:7-8
  • Teach that the Bible tells us all we do should be done for the glory of God. So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31
  • Teach them that they are beautiful and that their beauty comes from God. Many young women believe they must be sexy to be attractive. Let them know that their smile, the sparkle in their eye, their personality is beautiful in and of itself. For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:13-14

Understand that when we try to teach (mentor) those younger that it does not always work out like we would like it to. They may or may not listen and they may or may not act on your advice.

  • Some younger women aren’t teachable yet;
  • They may be swayed by the Gloria Steinem feminist movement;
  • They may not share the same commitment to follow God’s teachings;
  • Or, they may be turned off with our self-righteous [which we should avoid.]

In these cases, pray fervently for their eyes to be opened to the loving care of Jesus in their lives. Pray that whatever the stronghold in their life may be torn down. And, pray for the Holy Spirit to be working in their lives, so they can hear what God wants them to hear to make them the person He wants them to be. When hearts are changed to Christ, modesty will improve with love and instruction.

And, to the younger women, I encourage you to find older godly women (including parents) whom you can learn from. Then, be open to seeking God’s will on how you should live your life in all areas including your dress. God does care about your appearance and he will show you apparel piece by apparel piece if it is appropriate in each situation. Being modest isn’t drab; it can be beautiful, in style, and a testimony of your life in Christ.

I once invited a young lady to church. She had not attended church at all in her life. She was living in an abusive relationship. I met her at church for the evening service – he came too. She arrived wearing a halter top, her tanned stomach was showing, her breasts were overflowing, and her short shorts were quite the scene. I had already positioned my purse and Bible in the 2nd or 3rd row as I wanted to be sure she would pay attention and hear the gospel. When I met her and her friend in the back of the church, I thought, “Oh my, what am I going to do? I was visualizing what the preacher was going to do when he saw her and if he would be able to concentrate on his preaching.” I was a nervous wreck. But, God knew exactly how she arrived at the church and that she even came was the mightiest of miracles. And, out of nowhere, a lovely lady in the church came up to her before the service and placed her sweater around her and said, “I know you must be cold in here, why don’t you use this sweater.” And, she wrapped it around her in the most loving way possible. I was so touched. And relieved!

God Bless.

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Bible Verses:

See above.

Prayer:

My Heavenly Father, I love you. I want you to use me. Please take all the lessons you have taught me over the years and allow me to spread your Holy Word and your teachings with others – both the young and the not so young. Lord, allow my heart to become so pure and humble so when you call me into service, I will be ready. As circumstances and opportunities arise, give me a nudge that it is my time to work on your behalf. Give me wise words and prepare the hearts of those who need to hear your precepts through the Holy Spirit. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.


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Amos: An Ordinary Man

There are many men and women who feel ordinary! Being ordinary is synonymous with being average. They might go to an average school, live in an average neighborhood, or be uneducated. One of the worse sentiments one might feel about being ordinary is presuming there is no purpose or calling in life. In today’s culture, we are impressed with wealth, beauty, popularity, being accomplished, and fame. But, let’s look at Amos — an ordinary man with a passion for God who was called to proclaim God’s message of judgment to Israel and other nations due to their sin and disobedience.

AMOS

Amos, an Old Testament minor prophet, was considered to be an ordinary man. In Amos 7:14-15, he says, “I’m not one of your professional prophets. I certainly never trained to be one. I’m just a shepherd and I take care of fig trees. But the Lord called me away from my flock and told me, ‘Go prophesy to my people in Israel.’” [NLT]  Amos might have even been a seasonal worker due to the fact that he lived in Tekoa, a town 16 miles from the Dead Sea, where sycamore trees are not cultivated due to the altitude and climate. Thus, implying he might have had to leave Tekoa during certain months of the year to care for and cultivate the sycamore fig trees. Many commentaries believe Amos did not have any formal training, but he was learned in the ways of God. During Amos’ lifetime, Israel was a nation filled with pride, beauty, elegance, and riches. As Amos went about living “the ordinary life” God gave him, he was called by his heavenly Father for a particular task. He lived during the reign of Jeroboam II around 786-746 BC. It was during this time, he recognized his calling from God to proclaim the message the Lord gave him. He did not arrive on the scene to tickle anybody’s ears. He arrived able, prepared, and willing to work passionately on the assignment God gave him. You will find in the Book of Amos that Amos speaks little of himself; he is there to pronounce the judgment God sent him to do. Speaking God’s word throughout the Book of Amos, he became known for his repetitively saying, “Thus says the LORD” before many of his proclamations. He spoke God’s word throughout the Book of Amos.

As I read the Book of Amos, I became aware of some of the characteristics Amos possessed both prior to and during him announcing the destruction of Israel.

CHARACTERISTICS OF AMOS

  • He sought the Lord;
  • He had a deep-rooted faith;
  • He was being prepared by God;
  • He walked with God;
  • He accepted his lot in life;
  • He was wise in the ways of God;
  • He was close enough to God to know what the Lord said;
  • He spoke only what the Lord said;
  • He was confident in what he said;
  • He was not fearful in bringing bad news to others;
  • He was not fearful in talking to others outside of his class;
  • He sought good and not evil;

GOD CAN USE YOU

The Lord used other “ordinary” men throughout history. David, Eliab, Gideon, Peter, James, and John were used mightily. Even Jesus was a simple man that God called to be the most important influence in all civilizations. And, God can use you!

Someday God may ask you to step out of your comfort zone. We carry around barriers in our life. We don’t take the steps needed to be used by God. God is going to use those who are already steeped in His word and those willing to walk His ways. He will choose us and seek us as we prepare ourselves to expand our influence for him. With Amos, it is most likely he was called for a particular assignment at a particular time. Maybe he went back to tending sheep and sycamore trees after this assignment was accomplished – we just don’t know as there is no record. But, we do know that when God wanted to use him, he was available and willing. In our lives, we should remember that God is able to do whatever He wants to and he will equip anyone willing to carry out his plans. You may not be an educated person; you may not have been born into an elite family, but God can use you. 1 Corinthians 1:26-29 states, “Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things — and the things that are not — to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him. God will give you strength to do what He is calling you to do. God desires to use us to our fullest. He knows if we are unprepared and He wants to prepare us. He knows if we are imperfect, but he sees the potential we have to pursue His purposes. You may have a dream or a vision, but feel unable achieve it. Don’t give up. Water and prune your vision, and wait for God’s appointed time. But, while waiting, follow his leadings, as small and/or as insignificant as they might seem, as this is part of his preparation for you. Just trust that His Spirit is working and perfecting you until the time He calls you like he did Amos. Then, when He shows you He is ready, you will be ready to act.

PREPARING FOR MINISTRY

  • Seek the Lord;
  • Develop a deep-rooted faith;
  • Allow God to prepare you;
  • Walk with God;
  • Accept your lot in life;
  • Be wise;
  • Develop a deep closeness to God through Bible study and prayer;
  • Speak only what is Godly;
  • Be confident in God’s words and whispers;
  • Develop a fearless spirit in speaking for God;
  • Understand that God can use you with anyone — regardless of social class, intellect, race, or religion;
  • Seek good, not evil.

Notice that our preparations mirror Amos’ characteristics.

PERSONAL TESTIMONY

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Looking back at my life, I can see how God had been preparing me for my current ministry of writing devotional prayer journals and blogging. When I was around 7 or 8 years old, I loved the Science projects where I had to find leaves, label them, and glue them on cardboard. I call that gathering information and presenting it. As a senior in high school, I had an English assignment where we had to find poems and quotes, put them together in booklet form, and find pictures from newspapers or magazines that related to the poems or quotes. Again, I was gathering information and presenting it. I loved it. Imagine my distress when I received my first college essay back with a big, fat, red F on it. I thought I was an awful writer for years. But, God kept giving me little assignments along the way, i.e. writing Table Talks for Wednesday night church dinners, making educational bulletin boards, becoming a librarian.  One time I was given the assignment by our church planner to research an apartment complex where the church wanted to start a ministry. It was awesome. I used my detective skills; took notes on the bumper stickers in the parking lot; noticed the ages of the children in the complex; spoke to the apartment manager, and of course, put together a booklet with the results. Following God is fun and adventurous. My suggestion is for you to look over your life, see what you have enjoyed, and give your talents to the Lord and ask him to show you how he can use you in the small things. All God’s assignments are profitable, so as we go from one to the next, keep preparing yourself for the next one.

GOD CAN USE THE MOST UNLIKELY PEOPLE

God can use the most unlikely people in life to do a job for him. In God Uses Ordinary People, Mark Hiehle tells the following story of a man God used to meet a woman’s needs and how the recipient viewed it.

I once heard of a woman who had locked her keys in her car at a mall. Not having the funds to call a locksmith, she prayed and asked God to help her. Shortly after, a rough looking man came up to her and asked if she needed any help. She told him that her keys were locked in her car; and in no time, the man used a wire and lifted the lock. The woman thanked him and said that he was an answer to prayer and an angel. The man said, “Oh, I am not an angel, ma’am. I just got out of prison.” The woman looked to heaven and said, “Oh Lord, You are so good! You sent me an expert.” ¹

I love it!

The Lord is consistently calling his children to do His work. We have the choice whether to answer him or not. Our problem is the world in which we live in allows us to questions whether we have enough desire, time, money, and intellect to follow through in His calling(s). We need to make time to listen to the Lord; seek out His will; follow His leading: and let him supply all that is needed to accomplish his purposes through us. Let’s seek out our reasons for not moving forward. Is it because we don’t feel spiritual enough? Then work on that through prayer and Bible study. Is it because you need money to start the ministry God is calling you to? Start with what you have and allow God to find what you need to move on. It is not our strength that gets God’s work done, but our willingness and trust in Him to accomplish the calling and ministries He puts on our hearts.

As the former governor of Arkansas, Mike Huckabee, says,

“It’s when ordinary people rise above the expectations and seize the opportunity that milestones truly are reached.”²

And, we do this by not depending on our abilities and intellect; we do this by depending on God as our source to achieve mighty things for him – even though we might be ordinary.

What does God have in store for you in 2016? Pray, Read, Listen, and then Act.

Blessings and feel free to share this article with your friends and family!

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Bible Verses:

He that is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much: and he that is unrighteous in a very little is unrighteous also in much. Luke 16:10 NABS

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. 2 Corinthians 11:30 ESV

Stay dressed for action and keep your lamps burning, and be like men who are waiting for their master to come home from the wedding feast, so that they may open the door to him at once when he comes and knocks. Blessed are those servants whom the master finds awake when he comes. Truly, I say to you, he will dress himself for service and have them recline at the table, and he will come and serve them. If he comes in the second watch, or in the third, and finds them awake, blessed are those servants! Luke 12:35-38 ESV

Prayer:

Lord, I want you. I want to be used by you. I am asking you today to make me faithful in all the little things that honor you. I confess my sins to you knowing that you will forgive me. I may feel ordinary in the world’s eyes, but I know I am the apple of your eye. Give me the ability to discern each and every step you have for me in my life. Let me obey you and accomplish your purposes for me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.


¹ Hiehle, Mark. “God Uses Ordinary People.” http://atcmag.com. January 2010.  Web. 2 January 2016.

² Huckabee, Mike. www.brainquote.com. n.d. Web. January 2, 2016.

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